Latest Posts by insecure-abyss - Page 2

Reblog if you want to gag on girl cock.

Hey transmasc pspsps, come into my DMs... I'm sure nothing bad will happen, just send me a message and show me that wet little boycunt my gock can fill <3

"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune

(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)

1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.

2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.

3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.

4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.

5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.

6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!

Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.

Made this funny meme thinking the trans meme sub would love it:

Immediately after posting, I see this post:

WHY CANT I EVER HAVE AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT?!

LIFE IS A PRISON

I'm nothing but a walking transfem stereotype :(

Prev’s junk is cold. Reblog to put it in your mouth

Sweets and treats are all the nutrients a princess needs

They killed jimmy carter to hide the secret of the elves

this liminal space straight up smells like spiders

Was just diagnosed with “need to bite you” disorder. Yeah sorry it’s terminal. The only cure is biting you. C’mere.

Bunny girl who's convinced she's the dom because you gave her headpats

i love twitter warfare

#when you get your hands on skaven weapons

Gonna get myself a fun little surprise I guess

The urge to bother my mutuals

This website is so so so good

If we're mutuals, PLEASE send me horny messages. I wanna make friends but also be kinky with cool people on here :3

maybe i can feel better.

Poorly drawn Togepi line

Creepy Girl Domestication Time...

Trans girl musk is honestly so fucking amazing. Laying in bed between her legs, her relaxing on her phone while a huge, hard girlcock towers above you, achingly full balls right at your lips, and that intoxicating smell that hazes your head, makes it sooo hard to do anything but submit. The best part is, once she's done using your throat like a cheap fleshlight, you can just collapse right there, smell still flooding your mind with every breath, reminding it who it belongs to <3

we need more freaky transfems with medical degrees. i want the girl who’s performing my orchiectomy to find it just as hot as i do.

im not christian but i do believe in the power of prayer. for this reason i keep a little homonculus in a dog crate under my bed which i have raised as a devout catholic. whenever i want something in my life to change i poke him with a stick and he clasps his grubby little paws together and starts chanting in latin. his prayers always go through because he has never known sin

I feel so... down whenever I want to watch queer or trans videos because I know in the back of my mind that none of the current large queer content creators' content or community is safe for people like me, intersex people.

I love their work otherwise, but it hurts badly to hear them toss around casual intersexism in their videos constantly when discussing queer and trans issues and nobody ever mentions it.

And because these are large, popular creators, nobody has ever listened when I've tried to ask they adjust their language. My dms go ignored or unseen and my public comments get drowned out by fans defending their intersexist comments. It's emotionally draining and exhausting, I just want to be included in my own community.

I wanna bully a tgirl (sexually) like yeah im pansting you and embarrassing you in front of our friends ! Yeah I’m shoving you up against a wall and calling you weak and fragile, yeah I’m shoving your shirt up and announcing how big your tits have gotten. I’m lifting your skirt up so everyone can see your hole isn’t covered at all by this thong! I’m snapping your bra straps, and pulling on your g-string whale tail. when you shower at my house I’m stealing your underwear so when I ask you to pick something up for me everyone can see you exposed and slutty . It’s all in good fun though !

@/tooesoteric2tboy - now

#yesyesyesyesyesyes

Hey

Reblog this if you want trans men to send you rape threats and degrade you

What do you mean you won't read Tolkein to me while I cockwarm you?????

Yes, you have to do the voices!!!!!

they need to give me a sword, one so holy it's very presence burns those filled with evil. and then i need to corrupt it, turn it inert, into a simple heavy blade bereft of it's once holy power. i will bathe it in the blood of the innocent and kind, until the once glorious songs of battle sung by the blade are replaced with cries of sorrow. and thn ill hauve sex wth it

#its working to well

Imagine a hyper-intelligent quantum computer hidden, within a complex sci-fi super-facility, who's body is technically the entire facility itself. Now imagine that an Affini attempts to make the facility into their floret.

The facility, built and abandoned by the accord, has been alone for decades, and refuses to trust the Affini or even admit to their own sentience.

It constantly tells the affini that it isn't a sophont, and is merely reacting within its protocols. So the Affini wanders through the complex, avoiding the computer's best attempts at killing them, and trying to help the computer through the trauma that it refuses to have. Eventually the Affini manages to get through to it and leaves with a little flashdrive containing their new floret.

TLDR; GLaDOS* gets florted.

*not really GLaDOS, but you get the point

Canon has been all over the place but I still think the yautja society is a matriarchal one. The women lounge about having lesbian trysts and keeping things running while the the men scurry about obsessed with their status and trophy count.

“Yes dear, enjoy your ‘hunting trip’ with the boys. Some of us have important things to do around here.”

This post was brought to you by lesbians who like giant buff alien ladies and wish there was some female yautja representation, hopefully, they would be happy to keep some of us as pets.