Ardyn: Alice its late, come home.
Alice: f*** off I'm fine.
Ardyn: I just watched you walk into a light post.
Alice: You can't see me.
Ardyn: I'm right next to you
Alice: liar.
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Alice: (texts) I found your family!
Ardyn: (texts) please don't tell me you dug up another grave....
Alice: (sends him a picture of a bunch of pigs)
Ardyn: (texts) where are you?!
Alice: (texts) wif yor famly
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Nikolai: FEDYA! Let’s go on a date! I have a few places we can go!
Fyodor: Not right now I’m busy contemplating my life-
Nikolai: *ignoring him* First we can go to that one theme park. Then have a nice stroll in the park. Then finally the morgue!
Fyodor: Why the morgue?
Nikolai: You’ll find out later~
Noctis: I will literally suplex Ravus just to take a nap right now.
Ravus: I'll knock you the **** out before you can even touch me.
Prompto: never a dull day with them around
Vergil: *saving Y/n from a demon* there I saved your life now I can go back to ruining it.
Dante to Nero
How anime girls be standing when talking to the main character
Vergil: *Slams the door to Devil May Cry open* Dante. The mother of my child is trying to kill me.
Dante: *Not looking up from his magazine* Which one?
Vergil: I know how to pick them....
Get out of the Haunted Mansion Fyodor!
Sigma: I wanted one thing in life. A place to call home. Instead I’m forced to live with a pigeon and his pet anemic rat.
Nikolai: You forgot the anemic rat is immortal.
Fyodor: The devil has a restraining order against me I guess.
This was my nightmare fuel
out of all the ffxv glitches I’ve seen, Ignis is involved in like half of them I swear
Atsushi: Got any resolutions Akutagawa?
Akutagawa: Yes, two. Finally kill you and get Dazai to notice me.
Atsushi: ….Mine was to be able to pay rent on time and eat more chazuke…