Isn't It Nice To Not B Alone

I'm going back to crying over everything. I hate it. I hate how alive I feel I hate this feeling i wish I could go back and be the pale lifeless emotionless person I was, I loved feeling so numbed and zombie like where I didn't cry for everything or worry about anything, I wish I was so tired and fragile like I was. These infusions and pills... are ruining me. Thanks alot.

Don't you just hate when your family talks shit about you even tho you never seen them nor talk to them sense you were born, like I'm sorry I never did anything but exist, sorry if my existence bothers you that much ill just try to kms or something to get out of your way ig. Tbh I don't even want to be here so.

I'm crying really bad, I need to cut, vomit, masturbate

HEHEHE

Literally the only thing that's keeping me sane on not trying to end myself is him. I try so hard just for him... ♡

I hate feeling so alive, I want to be a corpse cold, pale, and sleeping.

These infusions and pills... it's making my body feel human. I look healthy, I don't like it it's ruining my image

I don't want this i want to be back feeling dead and not healthy looking like. I hate being and looking like a human.

I just wanna say, if anything happens... to me. Thank you. All these thinspo pictures and photos are so motivational and inspiring and so very beautiful. But I'm slowly dying and might go to a hospital for force feed. I don't want to go to the hospital nor i do really want to die, the doctors said for me to open my eyes and change and get my head screwed on because I'm in danger to myself. Haha! Trust me, I know what I'm doing. i don't need you guys to yell at me because I already know what I am doing to myself, but nobody will understand, but myself. I'm not sure what will happen later, tomorrow, somewhere in the future, but I'm not going anywhere (I hope) again. Thank you.

Blood on my wrist, i wanna die (I couldn't resist i just had to. I said only one cut and got carried away, haha! Not only my wrist, i did my chest too, and maybe next time, my stomach and legs)

I so bad wish I was on hormones/testosterone. I want that beautiful male voice i hate staying quiet and trying to deepen my voice i hate this voice i want a adams apple to show my neck off. I hate living in this fantasy that I am, I hate taking medication that makes me think it's testosterone. I hate cutting my chest/genitalia and trying to sew it. I hate crying myself to sleep every night hoping i die and be the boy i am in heaven or somewhere else. I truly hate myself. #vent

I can try but I can never do right, in my mind it's just so hard to stay attach to this world.