ALMOST THERE!!! #anorexia

I just wanna say, if anything happens... to me. Thank you. All these thinspo pictures and photos are so motivational and inspiring and so very beautiful. But I'm slowly dying and might go to a hospital for force feed. I don't want to go to the hospital nor i do really want to die, the doctors said for me to open my eyes and change and get my head screwed on because I'm in danger to myself. Haha! Trust me, I know what I'm doing. i don't need you guys to yell at me because I already know what I am doing to myself, but nobody will understand, but myself. I'm not sure what will happen later, tomorrow, somewhere in the future, but I'm not going anywhere (I hope) again. Thank you.

Im Sorry for yapping and venting... but I think it's just me or if there are others who feel this way... I like to abuse myself. Not sure if it's from trauma in the past or something I know it's so unhealthy but I can't help it I like the pain and it's the only thing I know to make myself feel loved... sadly. I'm so alone I want to experience relationships and be in a relationship not sure if it's going to make a difference for me what love truly is I really don't know... I just want a boyfriend hahaha~... he's out there somewhere in just have to wait for my moment for that man. Again I'm so sorry for ranting alot today!

I want to run towards something, Not away (Sorta)

Sorry to vent again! I'm sorry

What hurts to is that I planned a family with them but now it's gone. I will need time to heal but I kinda need a guide and some sort of motivation to help me move forward and to have a better relationship with that person. 4/8/24

#help

I hate to ask... what's a really good razor or something to cut with?- I have been cutting with a razor to shave, but that's not enough I used a knife and it's just not what I'm looking for. Any recommendations? Please thank you!

Blood on my wrist, i wanna die (I couldn't resist i just had to. I said only one cut and got carried away, haha! Not only my wrist, i did my chest too, and maybe next time, my stomach and legs)

Im on the cold floor

I so bad wish I was on hormones/testosterone. I want that beautiful male voice i hate staying quiet and trying to deepen my voice i hate this voice i want a adams apple to show my neck off. I hate living in this fantasy that I am, I hate taking medication that makes me think it's testosterone. I hate cutting my chest/genitalia and trying to sew it. I hate crying myself to sleep every night hoping i die and be the boy i am in heaven or somewhere else. I truly hate myself. #vent

What i want so badly is my nose to be perfect, beautiful skin(face)(no acne), very boney skinny, naturally blonde white hair, blue eyes, long nails, soft pale white skin, top surgery and a beautiful male soft voice

I can try but I can never do right, in my mind it's just so hard to stay attach to this world.