I Hate To Ask... What's A Really Good Razor Or Something To Cut With?- I Have Been Cutting With A Razor

I'm going back to crying over everything. I hate it. I hate how alive I feel I hate this feeling i wish I could go back and be the pale lifeless emotionless person I was, I loved feeling so numbed and zombie like where I didn't cry for everything or worry about anything, I wish I was so tired and fragile like I was. These infusions and pills... are ruining me. Thanks alot.

I hate feeling so alive, I want to be a corpse cold, pale, and sleeping.

These infusions and pills... it's making my body feel human. I look healthy, I don't like it it's ruining my image

I don't want this i want to be back feeling dead and not healthy looking like. I hate being and looking like a human.

I've been feeling weird today, not broken, not happy, just odd, i came home and ran to my room crying really bad. I calmed down and apologized? To myself and others not sure why maybe because of my odd feelings today, i got told i was rude, selfish, messed up, retarded ect and went back to my room and cried again saying I'm sorry to myself over and over then touched myself for comfort but then regret it feeling ashamed then went to sleep. BTW I threw up, i didn't eat much today, but to get off the weight, me, haha! Also did a bit of workout. Good night♡

Man... I want to vent to some1 but I guess not, I mean I don't have friends at all nor any1 really... I guess I have to take out my shitty diary I guess. Like the usual.

One thing that is unique and what you prolly didn't know about me is i have naturally elf ears ♡

Although the thoughts of suicide haven't left, i think about them every day. It's a bit of a turn on to think about and at the same time, I want to experience the pain and death. When I say Death I laugh at the word. Because I feel aroused and I think about my death and other things that come along with it. I know I'm strange I'm sorry but it's true... by the way I still plan to cut and sadly shamelessly masturbate... just to get my mind in the clouds.

Blood on my wrist, i wanna die (I couldn't resist i just had to. I said only one cut and got carried away, haha! Not only my wrist, i did my chest too, and maybe next time, my stomach and legs)

I felt pretty...💙

I so badly want a thigh gap the widest thigh gap AHHHHHHH #vent

I want to run towards something, Not away (Sorta)