r3v3rie

Latest Posts by r3v3rie

This is the sacred duck he got an important message:

uriel i wish i hated you. i wish i could not still have some form of love for you.

just talk to me. for once. i just want to know what you’re thinking one last time.

new year, new font. i was never too attached to the courier, but i think playfair is truly me.

the realization that if Uriel was smart he would in fact know about this account, but i don’t think he cares that much to silently stalk me so for now i think i’m safe??

Uriel- Angel of Repentance

I had to go and find an angelic pseudonym for you. What better the angel of sincere regret? Dearest Uriel, my hardest love and loss, I don't quite know what to do. So here is another letter I can't send. You don't know about this place, or atleast I hope you don't because my first name for you wasn't all that secretive at all (and it broke my code name tradition, but it's very fitting, isn't it?). Every damn song is about you these days, the farther you shove me away the more it drives my mentally ill mind insane. And that was how it always was, wasn't it? I just want an admission. A flat out declaration. I need to know what you think, what you feel. I don't even know why but I just feel like I need to. They say ignorance is bliss, but I've always been a more "curiosity kills the cat" kind of girl. Do you still have love for me the way I do you? Does it kill you, this distance (in all sense of the word) between us? Because I feel like I'm dying at your feet all over again. Back in that horrid space where I don't want to text out of fear of annoyance, but wanting your attention on me. You drive my BPD insane. Truly, madly, deeply insane. You always did and I fear you always will. I don't know what to do Uriel, I don't know what I want or need from you- but whatever we're doing isn't it. You were the one who stared into the depths of my cast-from-heaven soul, and didn't shy away. You were there for me when I was sent straight to hell, and now I fear that bonds me to you eternally. What do I do Uriel? How can I escape these demonic feelings? How do we recover from this? Will we ever?

i’m splitting on you so hard my sebastian wilder it’s not even funny

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

Why did you stop caring this time??

I can always kill myself. That's the only comforting thought I have.

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

being abandoned by my two fps, im going to throw up. killing myself 😙✌️

we're all under the same moon, and that's enough for me.

god life has been so messy lately, take me back to a month ago.

i hope everything gets easier soon. or at least funnier.

resting peacefully tonight :)

a shitty attempt at poetry, i should stick to long-form

pink bath, pink wine, pink vape, pink girl

I see many Neopagans who are unable to separate themselves from Christian ideas of "Grace" in that divine favor or blessings are something that are bestowed upon or withheld from you for a specific reason or as a reward or punishment, when that is not at all how ancient peoples thought about the Gods and their Providence.

Providence is, simply, the goodness of the Gods emanating outward, flowing out naturally from them to all corners of the world to each according to their individual ability to receive it. Providence is a spring that overflows and reaches all indiscriminately, unlimited and eternal.

The key here is our individual ability to receive it. If you don't notice the water flowing all around you, you go thirsty, and if you don't have a sufficient vessel for collecting it, you will only get tiny handfuls of water at a time. Blessings are received when we make ourselves a suitable vessel for them: We make ourselves more receptive to their goodness by improving ourselves through piety and cultivating virtue.

This is an attitude that I don't find very often in Neopagan spaces: Far too many people are preoccupied with offending the Gods, as if such a thing were possible, and being "cursed" or "abandoned" by them, when in reality the Gods are everywhere: There is nowhere that they cannot be, no corner of the universe that they do not reach. To fret about whether the Gods will curse or punish you is to wonder if the water from that spring won't like you: The question is silly, just drink when you're thirsty.

Providence is something we are solely responsible for making ourselves more receptive to: Anything else is superstition and latent Christianity.

everything about me is dark, but when i color- i always do it in rainbow. maybe there’s light in me somewhere.

Worship Wednesday

Hermes Epimelius, Keeper of the Flock. Hermes' shepherd aspect is one of my favorites. There's strong comparisons to the Great Shepherd. He guides the flocks through their journey, watching out for them as they go. He watches out for us in a similar way. There have been many times he's guided me through my life, assisting me in progressing through it. Hermes Epimelius cares for all of his flock. Not one member goes unnoticed. He's always looking out for danger. And while he won't always protect us from everything, he won't let us go through anything he knows we're not able to handle. He will step in if the danger becomes too great. He loves his flock and wants to see them succeed.

This week's question: Have you ever been through a time in your life where it was clear Hermes was guiding you through it?

i miss you. i love you. i want you here and it hurts that you aren't.

This too shall pass but like holy fuck

notes app ramblings

8.7.24 excerpt-

“and a large part of me is dead too, lying there with your ashes in the mahogany box”

Ευσέβεια, Efsevia. Piety. Showing honor and veneration to the gods and daimones, praising them and thanking them for what they do. Living a pious life.

Συγγένεια. Syngeneia. Kinship. It is through the city gods and gods of the Oikos (home, community) that we have friends, family, and neighbors. Honor the good men amongst them, bring protection and support to them, and be good to them.

Δικαιοσύνη. Dikaiosyne. Justice. Ruled by mighty Titan Themis, Justice is respecting the laws of nature, the gods, and the land. Without Justice, Law, and Order, we have Injustice, Impiety, and Chaos.

Ευδαιμονία. Evdaimonia. Happiness. Happiness is the gift of the bacchic gods Dionysos and many others, the kindly gods. Through good health and practices and piety and Justice and kinship, we find joy in our lives.

Αρετή. Aretē. Excellence and Virtue. To neglect the potential of excellence is to neglect the theurgical sciences the gods have given us. Do your best to self-better and become stronger and healthy as to be excellent for the gods.

Ξένια. Xenia. Hospitality. The highest and most honored tenet of our religion and the forefathers and he Zeus Xenios the hospitable. Welcoming Xenos, foreigners, in culture, tongue, religion, affiliation, into our life and practices and cities is the highest honor of Zeus Xenios and Athena Pallas of the City.

Χάρης. Kharis. Reciprocity and Favor. The gods and daimones give when we give and we give so they give. Honor the gods and cal to them in times of want and need, give good offerings and libations and praise them so they may speak your name and wishes.

Μέτρον. Metron. Moderation. No things In excess for they poison the mind, body, and soul. Practice moderation in exercise, consumption, alcohol, health, sciences, and arts and all other things.

Κάθαρσης. Katharsis. Purity. To pray to the gods impure and pour libations of sweet wine to them, they will not hear your prayers but spit them back at you. Never disrespect the gods with the impurities of daily life and miasma.

Σοφία. Sophia. Wisdom. Be wise in all things and trust Athena the wise to guide you, Apollon the light to shine the way for you, Hekate the torch bearer to make the dark to be walkable, and Hermes the guide to lead you to good things.

Aphrodite; Prayer to attract positive energy

Beloved Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty.

I call upon your divine presence to fill my life with your loving light.

Surround me with loving energy and help me see the beauty in every moment and in every person I meet.

May your divine presence infuse my life with the beauty and love that you embody,

And may I radiate your loving energy to others.