Whenever I Get Horny Nowadays I Just Start Hitting My Head With My Fist Over And Over

why am i even bothering with sobriety and cleanness at this point. all i wanna do is be high and forget how fucking miserable im gonna be for the rest of my life. just for a few hours. but i cAnT because tHinGs WoNt EvEr gEt BeTtEr iF yOuRe uSiNg. who the fuck cares if it gets better at this point? it obviously fucking won't. i'm trapped in this fucking disgusting body forever. the least i can do for myself is make myself happy for a little while.

it's pathetic how much i fucking hate you. i can't fucking stand it. i hate that you're out with your fucking friends and ignoring me. you know i want you to be happy but why can't you see how much of my happiness you're responsible for. why the fuck did you get me addicted to you like this and then just fuck off.

"summer is the worst" "no winter is!!!" actually both are. down with Big Temperature. spring and autumn for the win

i wish i was high

i wish i weren’t here

i need to be more high

or be less here

Are any of my emotions actually valid…? They all seem so unreasonable. I cant tell apart my genuine reaction from my mood disorder

you know when you're talking to your friend who you also used to date and they're talking about their new love interests and it's all you can fucking do not to lose your shit and split on them and just listen and congratulate them because logically you love that person because they are your best friend and they also love you but shit just didn't work romantically between the two of you but now every time they talk about it you wanna put scissors in your ears because you feel so fucking lonely and disgusting and unworthy of the thing that everyone else has but you don't??

no me neither

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

Fun idea: death

Might fuck around and develop a parasocial one sided relationship with one of my new mutuals because we dont talk and I shake like a scared chihuahua when I try to talk to them, it's all in my head

is anyone else's mother a passive aggressive cunt for no reason or is it just mine