Latest Posts by trash-is-not-on-fire - Page 5
true love is sacrificing your birthday cake being chocolate for your partners health and then immediately making him drink the most disgusting concoction of soup and licorice water for a gaming video
shoutout to boring queer people who don’t do shit. just go to work or school and then come home to watch shows. while gay
me at least twice a week
part of me wants to see dan’s initial reaction but i also know that would not be safe for internet consumption
Did we just enter a new timeline??
There is no slut shaming in this house, only slut encouragement
i love when dan and phil think they’re normal. when they were like you have to make sure you eat the same food as your roommates all the time at the same time and dan was out and had a doughnut so he doordashed one to phil so they could eat the same thing at the same time and they were like you know how it has to be like this. and i was like. you literally don’t. like it doesn’t have to be like that. i think you guys are just weird and codependent and there’s something wrong with you
phil’s little scream when dan pushes past him rb if you agree
i love doing apologism for fictional characters. yes he killed people and ruined everything but thats ok bc i like him and hes my little baby. so who cares
New video with Dan! Something we want to tell you
how the hell did we get zero joint content for 2 years and then a video, a ls and two selfies IN ONE WEEK
yknow we didn’t get pinof this year but we did get phil dressed up as a cat while dan flirts with him and that’s pretty much the same thing
for anyone else who might need this today
a month 📅 without 😶 uploading 📤 he 👦 comes back 🔙 with a tag 🔖 (whoo) that no ⛔ one 1️⃣ even 🌆 tagged 🙋♂️ him in he’s 🏃♂️ not 🙅♀️ a challenge 🤔 to drag 🐲 (ouch🏥) so prepare 🙈 for an attack ⚠️ and by 👋 that i mean 👖 cringe 😬 (cringe) cause this 👈 motherfucker’s 🤱🦆🥵 ‘bout to get dragged 🗡🐉 by his fringe 🦱 first 🥇 things first, you’re freakishly 🦉 tall 🧍♂️ it’s weird 🆒️ you loo 👁 like a noodle 🍜 (true✔) you’ve got hair💇♂️ that was 🗑 cool 😎 in 2007 2️⃣0️⃣0️⃣7️⃣ and wet 💦 you just look 👀 like a poodle 🐩 (hobbit) throw 🚮 in a really annoying 😒 posh 🧐 voice 🗣🔇 and, yup 👍, that’s dan (posh) you’re what 😯 would happen if winnie 🍯 the pooh 🧸 fucked 👉👌 slenderman 👻 you procrastinate ⏳ making 🎨 videos 🎥, cause being judged 👨⚖️ is scary 😨? (ooh) you’re so close 🔐🚪 to being forgotten 😓, the hate’s 🖕 imaginary 💭 (whoa) the only reason 📖you get 💆♀️ views 🎑📈 is you’re another 😪 white ⬜ guy 🚶♂️ that people 👥 ship 🚢with his friend 👦🏻👨❤️💋👨 cause they think 🤔 it’s kawaii 😊🌈 oh reasons 📚 why dan’s a fail ❌ (yay!) i’ll give you some 🔲 you never 📵 tweet 🐦, you overeat 🐿🍴, all 🏷 you do is cry 😭 and sleep 💤😴 your jokes 😜 are shitposts 🃏 and memes 🤡 with no originality 🧭 (uh huh) your family’s 👨👩👦👦 sad 😔 you flopped 💾 your law 🔨 degree 🎓 at university 🏫👩🏫 and anything 🎖 embarrassing 😳 that’s from your past 🍝 you just delete ➖ you were vegan 🥕🥗 for like three 3️⃣ weeks, then what, you missed ☹ the meat 🥩? (milk 🐄🥛) wow 😮, i’m so impressed by your clear ⚪🚱 moral 👑 integrity 🧩! you try 👍✔ so hard 👷♀️ to be peaceful ☮🕊 and diplomatic ✌🏳 but can’t 🍈 make toast 🍞 without tumblr 🥃 saying you’re problematic 📛 (boo, oh) i could go 🎠 on there’s more 📳 if i check ✅ there’s more things 📝 on this list 📜 than chins 🤔 on your neck 🧣 on your birthday 🎂🎉 you joked 🤣 you were a quarter 🌛 way to death ⚰ a 100 💯? yeah, when getting 🍂 out 📤 of bed 🛌 makes you out of breath 🌬? (real) so your celebrity 🥳 crush 🥰 was j-law ⚖ but 🍑 now ❓ it’s evan p.? (mhmm) what 🆘️ the fuck even 🌃 is your sexuality 🏳️🌈? it’s hard ⛑ to put you in a box 📦 when you keep 🔑 it so blurry 🥶 (what is it) i think ✖ it’s just to hide 🙈 that you’re secretly 🤭 a furry 🦖 i’m-i’m joking 🃏🤴 obviously 🙆♂️ okay 🆗️ that went deep 🙇♀️… repress 😞 it? yup 🙃! before 🅱️ i start ⭐ crying 😢 let’s wrap 🌯 this shit 💩 up ⬆️ i’m gonna 🚘 go and masturbate 💦🥵🍆, then cry 😿 into 🥴 a slice 🍉 of pizza 🍕 (feelings 🤒) shout 📣 out 🔳 to the other youtubers ▶️🔥 especially 👓 ryan higa 👨🦳 (jerk 🤬) a cringe 👃 compilation 🖇 mixed 🔁 with cultural 🧫 appropriation met 🤘 with no 🚫 depreciation it’s the youtube 🔥 nation 🇺🇳 click ⏰ subscribe 🚇 , if you 👇 wanna 🍍 watch ⌚ 4 4️⃣ videos 📼 a year 🎆! (or 3) to see 👀 my last ⏮ one (from 10 🕥 years 😂 ago 🔙), just click ☝️ over 🔞 here 🦸♂️ (fail ❌) so leave 🍁 a comment ☄🎭 with your reaction 🚜, you can 🥫 call 📞 me a liar 🤥 cause you 👆 just ♎ witnessed 😵 the roast 🍗 of danisnotonfire 👦🚫🔥 [sobbing 😭]
[submitted by @jercy, god knows why]
good morning destiel shippers, johnlock conspiracy theorists, propagators of fake news, people from nevada, louis tomlinson's secret children, dashcon attendees, people whose birthday is nov 5,
No Noise November. everyone shut up
2009-2017 (rip)
Common Myth: Phil is in his flat in the UK right now
look out! hes right behind you and oh my god hes got your wallet. Hey GET BACK HERE PHIL YOU CANT TAKE THAT WALLET