Joe Toye - Blog Posts

Nixon: Man I don’t know how you deal with these kids. They look like a handful.

Winters: *watching Liebgott strangle Webster, Luz and Malarkey randomly screaming, Talbert trying to set fire to a sleeping Guarnere, and Toye choking on air*

Winters: I don’t know either.

Toye: Luz, put on some pants or at least some really high socks.

Luz: Really high socks it is, then!

happy nineteenth anniversary, band of brothers

we few, we happy few, we band of brothers

Band of Brothers screencaps/edits (262/?)

Babe Heffron

Dec 01 2013: Babe's last jump

Joe Toye: this date is boring.

George Luz: this isn’t a date, I told you I was only going to be sorting hershey bars.

Joe Toye: then why did you invite me?

George Luz: I didn't. I specifically said 'don't come with me' and you said 'fuck you, I do whatever I want.' and followed me here.

Easy Company Sleepover??

The chaos

Heffron: EYYY WHO’S STILL UP?

Toye: *squints* Well me now, dipshit

Guarnere: SHH I need at least 10 hours if I’m gonna look fresh tomorrow

Talbert: Ok, seriously everyone simmer down, let’s just sleep

No one:

Webster: …What’s the meaning of life?

Liebgott: cAn wE nOt??

Shifty: Guys pls be quiet or Captain Winters will hear us

Luz: Wait turn the lights on, I can’t find Malarkey!

Malarkey: I’m under the bed!

Skinny: What the actual f—

Muck: That looks so fun! *gets under bed*

Penkala: Midnight pillow fight! *hits Gordon*

Gordon: Ow! What the hell is in your pillowcase? Fuck, I’m bleeding!

Roe: *asleep*

Christenson: Shhh did you guys hear that?

Speirs (outside peeping in the window): be silent.

if you dont like it catch my hands

I’m glad we’re going to Europe. Hitler gets one of these right across the windpipe, Roosevelt changes Thanksgiving to Joe Toye Day, pays me ten grand a year for the rest of my fuckinging life.

Happy Joe Toye Day 2020!

Ok so get this, inktober prompts but with band of brother characters.

ronnie ft. sharkboy

Luz: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?

Toye: No, I said “George don’t lick the swing set"  and you said  "Don’t tell me what to do Joe". And then you licked the swing set.

i present to you:

easy co as new girl quotes

*none of the gifs are mine*

winters

nixon

spiers

guarnere

toye

roe

babe

lipton @ spiers

webster @ liebgott

bonus:

sobel

part 2??

thanks @floydtab again for your help 💕

Toye: Lions can hunt and kill their own food by the time they’re 3 months old. I just watched Luz try to find his phone, and it was in his other hand... I can’t believe we’re at the top of the food chain.

Band of Brothers as coffee?

as if i wrote this out and tumblr deleted it so here we go again

Winters: a nice cool glass of milk

Nixon: 8 shots of irish espresso via IV drip

Webster: americano bup bup gotta stay awake, fresh, write

Liebgott: a nice cup of joe

Guarnere: What the fuck is a cappuccino

Toye: An Iced Tea

Luz: pours caprisun into his coffee

Doc Roe: chug it boi dont ever sleep a nice mocha 

Babe: No coffee just hot chocolate with whipped cream marshmallows and sometimes a dollop of icecream

Perconte: he just likes to nibble on the beans 

Lipton: just the foam

Speirs: Black Coffee. through a straw if hes feeling fancy

Malarkey: lil Flat White, sip sip

Martin: He just crushes the beans in his hand and sips the juice from his fist

Talbert: Frappacino, no nonsense

Muck: Coffee with salt

@radiantcade, you know whats up ;)

Doc, telling Toye to keep his feet dry

Toye: How do you know what’s good for me?

Doc: T H A T ’ S M Y O P I N I O N!!!!!!!

Toye: 👁👄👁

Nearby Germans: 👁👄👁

Luz: *says something stupid/annoying*

Toye: That’s it

Toye: I’m breaking up with you

Luz, grinning: You say as you continue to lay your head in my lap

Toye, glaring up at Luz from his lap: Shut the fuck up

@scrapeduppalms

Liebgott: i cant belive you and Toye broke the bed last night

Perconte: yeah, it must have been wild

Luz: aha yeah..

*last night*:

Luz: i bet you cant jump high enough to touch the ceiling

Toye: try me.

Since we are all quarantined in my state there is nothing to do. Please tell which band of brothers boy I should draw to cure my boredom. I will post each drawing.

Luz: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Liebgott: Punch him in the stomach, then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him

Malarkey: Tackle him

Perconte: Dump him

Babe: Kick him in the shin

Toye: NO TO ALL OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN, YOU IDIOT!

Really drunk Joe Toye sitting in a pile of puppies and he starts getting teary eyed and his voice gets really husky as he gathers them up into his arms and rubs his face into their fluffy little bodies. “I can’t protect all of them.”

Easy company as cats

Dick -  Big ginger tomcat who always finds the best hiding spots to catch birds, well-mannered and rarely ever meows. Spends most of the day outside or curled up pressed to his owner, never bothering anyone though. Has a neat collar with a classic little nametag. You can trust him not to make any trouble if you forget to let him out into the garden when you leave for work in the morning. He likes water and sometimes stays outside in the rain chasing raindrops. Is best friends with the neighbour’s black persian.

Nix - Said black persian. His owners keep him in absolute luxury, feeding him tuna every day and brushing out the knots in his fur, but he runs out through his little cat door each afternoon and gets it messy again. Taught Dick how to use that cat door and now they trot in and out of the house as they please. Nix drinks milk at both of their places and scoffs at water. Generally lazy, but doesn’t protest against stroking or cuddling.

Speirs - Cat of unknown origin, possibly stray, always sitting on the fence or on the porch staring inside all creepily without blinking. Has beautiful black and white markings, a real magpie cat. Presents various carcasses to Lipton and sometimes live prey to play with. Once in a while, he lets Lipton groom his head and ears, but no human you know of has been able to catch him. Leaves half a rabbit on your doormat at night so that you can step on it in the morning.

Lipton - Is a huge cat with sandy-dark brown fur that stands every which way in tufts. Got bitten at the hip by a dog and almost died, but his owners didn’t give up on him and he healed with only a small scar as a reminder. He’s really nice and friendly, calm, lets children play with him and curls up on your chest to purr when you’re sick or depressed. Isn’t afraid of fireworks. Has disappeared for two days once and you found him in the shed with the bicolor stray, lethargic from an infection, but mostly warm in a box of work clothes the stray seemed to have claimed as his bed.

Luz - Long-haired siamese cat that keeps running around the house and meows for no damn reason. If you don’t pay attention to him, he tries meowing at different pitches. Seems to understand how conversations work, because he makes tiny “mrow” sounds when you talk to him. Likes to hide behind the bookshelf and wait until you pass by to attack-hug your leg with (mostly) soft paws, then runs off again. Gets crazy from laser pointers and can practically run up the wall chasing the little red dot. 

Toye - Battered stray that got adopted by Luz’s owners from the death row. One of his hind legs broke and healed wrong before he was caught, so he has a limp. He’s unfriendly and doesn’t like to be touched, keeps growling if you pick him up, and he has real sharp claws that no one dared trim yet. He’s a little on the thin side right now, but his new owners are trying to cure him back to health. In the evening, he likes to curl up with Luz in a nest they share. Doesn’t play.

Babe - Ragdoll kitten, isn’t mature yet. Purrs at the slightest touch. True to his breed, goes boneless and soft if you pick him up, and everyone wants to cuddle with him. Once, he got stung by an insect and his right paw swelled to twice its original size. Considers rolling onto his back and batting at your fingers as the most enjoyable playtime. He likes to go up to adult cats and jump on them or eat their food, but they don’t tend to hiss at him for some reason. Strictly indoor cat.

Roe - Slender chartreux cat who likes to groom your hair with his cute pink tongue. Lives with Babe and carries him by his scruff like a momma even though he’s a male cat. Been lost a few times before, so he became an indoor cat too, because his owners prefer to keep him safe. When it’s cold, he tucks his paws under his body and sleeps like a loaf of bread. Eats chocolate whenever he can, fishing out the wrappers from the trashbin when he’s naughty.

Webster - Mostly indoor cat, a white angora with blue eyes. Came from the best breeder in town, is a frequent contestant on cat shows. He even learnt a few tricks from his owner. He’s very docile and practically offers himself when it’s time for his evening brush or a regular nail trim. He can walk on a leash without trouble and wears knit socks without fuss. Stays still when his owner wants pictures. Has a sensitive stomach and pukes on the carpet if he doesn’t get good food, is allowed to sit on the kitchen counter.

Liebgott - Scrawny tabby streetcat that hangs out in Webster’s territory and sprays on the bushes. He and Webster get into noisy fights every week, sometimes through the glass of a window or the screen door. Webster’s owners are upset about it, fearing that Lieb is going to scratch Web’s beautiful face up, but once, they accidentally let Web out on his own and find him and Lieb pressing their noses together curiously. Lieb can be coaxed into a short petting, but he bites when he gets bored of it. Made the neighbour’s Rottweiler howl once by clawing at its nose.

Guarnere - “Tomcat of the block”. Goes out on his daily prowl at night and chases after the female cats, dropping litters around the neighbourhood for the lucky owners to take care of. He’s striped like a tiger and has an M on his forehead. He’s small but can be ferocious when it comes to what he thinks is his. He kept puffing up when he saw Dick a few houses down the street, but he entered Dick’s territory once, got smacked in the nose, and now he’s okay with simply keeping his respectful distance. Is on a special diet because of a urinary infection.

Shifty - An adorable Scottish fold. He’s a talented bird hunter and can jump surprisingly high. Was hit by a car once just when he finally got home from a vet visit, but got away with a few broken bones. He has such sad eyes that it’s a challenge not to pick him up all the time. If you take him into your arms, he headbutts your neck affectionately. Seems to stare at and watch invisible things sometimes, staying motionless in hunting position for minutes. He sleeps with his owner at night.

Malarkey - Used to be a fearful kitten, walking around staying low and close to the ground, but he doesn’t much mind noise now. Gets confused at times when things change, for example, it takes days for him to tuck in without hesitation when you buy him a new brand of food. Has his own basket next to his owner’s armchair and likes to hide there, sometimes sticking his head out and staring warily for a minute or two before settling back down. Sometimes, he wanders into the garage and gets oil stains on his ash-colored fur, so his owner has to bathe him regularly.

Talbert - He’s a gorgeous bengal cat with big green eyes. Very agile and smart, likes to play with pieces of yarn and loves climbing trees. Always greets his owner at the end of a workday by running up to the car with his tail in the air. His favourite sleeping place is under the rosebushes. Likes to lurk around in the dark at night, but sometimes that gets him into trouble, like that time when he broke a vase and got a piece of it wedged in his paw. Dick’s other neighbour, they like to sunbathe together.

Now, who’s who in the pictures below? And which kitten would you take home with you?

Luz: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Toye: Walk by again.

Luz: I hope you choke.

Toye: Tis but a scratch.

Roe: A scratch? Your leg’s off!

Luz: do you want a hug?

Toye: no

Luz: did you hear what I said?

Toye: yes

Luz: what’d I say?

Toye: “do you want a hug?”

Luz: well if you iNsIsT-

Toye: What’s up with Babe?

Guarnere: Doc giggled.

Babe, laying on the floor: hE-!!!

Luz: I’m bike sectional

Luz: I’m bisectional

Winters: Take your time.

Luz, pointing at Toye: Boys!!!