Latest Posts by bubblemintfairy - Page 2

I sat behind her in class and I saw a kpop stage vid on her recommended page 😳

What the fuck is wrong with my brain. I met the ppl in my uni course yesterday, one girl caught my eye, we spoke once.....and now my brain is cutting to lowkey romantic fantasies about her.

What the fuck is wrong with my brain. I met the ppl in my uni course yesterday, one girl caught my eye, we spoke once.....and now my brain is cutting to lowkey romantic fantasies about her.

Just ate a box of cold chicken nuggets. 621 kcals and 48 grams of protein. I'm an unstable mf Binger, but atleast im hitting that protein goal.

I cant bring myself to do anything. I have so much to do, but I don't do anything. It feels like I'm incapable of everything. I just want to not exist anymore. Just not be.

I've been im a complete bubble whole summer. Haven't gone into town at all, just work and rotting. Which has been fun. And during it all it never even occurred to me that Damn I haven't socialized at all, let alone did I miss it.

But yesterday I met up with a good friend of mine, we just spoke for 3 hours. And when i acc got a taste of it, I lowkey missed socializing, like wanted to do it more. Really hoping that passes. But I'm also scared what will happen when I go into uni, since I'm gonna be around people all the time which means I'll want to socialize, but I won't have anyone to acc do it with lol

Gotta love it when the shift you kinda didn't wanna do turns out to go along well, even being enjoyable.

I went to practice driving w my dad for the first time and when I came home it turned out we had a lot of bananas that were gonna go bad soon so I made bananabread out of over 30 bananas. Tried out like 5 different recipes. Only bad thing is I got work early tomorrow and I slept little last night aswell so tomorrow might be a hard one.

I really wanna get on medicine. Wanna get a diagnosis incase I have something. But I don't have the balls or strength to actually go.

Mostly I don't wanna go cause it's embarrassing if there is nothing wrong with me. Wasting their time and seeming self diagnosing and dramatic. I am not having a breakdown almost everyday anymore, so it feels like I'm too mentally well and stable to go. But thats also what I thought when I did have breakdowns very often.

But perhaps my hesitance to go just shows that things ain't that bad at all. Just gotta make sure I don't get bored for even a second or I'll get suicidal.

I've managed to get fever 3 times this hot af summer. How does one even do that

Thanks for liking my art. This truly means a lot to me. So... yeah... thank youuu. ✨️

You're more than welcome :)

The pieces you make are so cool <3

Saw a girl with the tiniest waist and a butch gf at work today. Idk if I even like girls like that, but have never wanted to be someone so bad in a while.

Multiple people mentioned that I've lost weight today hihi

In the morning my coworker asked if everything is okay, because my face was sad. I didn't quite understand if between the lines she was also telling me I shouldn't look like that bcs how it would look to customers. But I tried to smile more.

And now my mom got angry at me out of no where bcs like she said, I always look like im dying, whatever happens I look like I'm dying. She also said that life wasn't so hard which I agree, my life isn't hard. She also ranted some more but yh.

I guess I'll have to train myself to smile all the time. Idk how to tho lol

I was set on trying to get into university for one specific degree and obvs have back up options aswell. But that one degree was my certain number 1 option. I seemed to have atleast something certain. And today I just realized it's not for me and I'm very unsure if I'll be able to do it. But it's not like I have anything else, I can't even think of a second option for an option I'm already so doubtful of.

It's gotten to the point where I can't blame my incompetence on my age anymore. I've realized im just incompetent. Not as an excuse rather as in I'm just dumber, less progressed, weak, specifically too weak to cope with life overall. It feels like I won't ever be a fully or well functioning part of society.

When my mom said, it can't be that tiring it's everyday life, that cut deep.

How are you doing?

You seem quite stressed for your graduation but I'm sure you did great at school. 🌟

Hey, thank you for asking, and thank you for the cute gif :>

Tbh I don't know how I'm doing haha. To be honest, it just depends on how well I am able to tune out everything at a certain moment lmao

My graduation is in a few days and I look so fucking fat in the dress. I want to stab myself in the stomach thru that ugly piece of trash. I also looked deeply miserable and sickly whilst trying it on today, which would at least look pretty if i was skinny, but since im not, it just looks disgusting. Now I'll have to work 3 days whilst starving. Whilst there's also 6 different stress sources chewing on me.

Crazy how I have kinda figured out how to keep myself feeling content. Like what to do and how to do it. But most of the time, I just can't bring myself to do those things even though I know I'd feel a lot better if I did.

Would be fascinating to know how giving up almost every day has affected my brain chemistry

She didn't give me even a chance to ask sumn. Said right away it isn't gonna change. 5 euros an hour it is 😭😭

Tomorrow I'll have to go to the staff manager at my summer job and look over my contract. I should ask for more pay than last summer but idk how ughhh.

And then day after that I'll actually have ti go to work. In theory it's not that bad, but just the idea of it fills me with unlimited tread.

Tomorrow I'll have to go to the staff manager at my summer job and look over my contract. I should ask for more pay than last summer but idk how ughhh.

And then day after that I'll actually have ti go to work. In theory it's not that bad, but just the idea of it fills me with unlimited tread.

Mindlessly overeating just to be absolutely devastated about my body and inability to lose enough weight to feel like a human

Need to keep myself in check cause I feel so close to asking my mom if she could live on if I died.

I cant cope with having to go to work. Maybe if I could do some physical work outside, but only places available are customer service. I can't cope with having to work as a server or a cashier till I get my degree. How do people do it, why do people do it. Why do they live.

My body isn't a mf temple, it's a prison.

I am one unnecessary and out of nowhere comment about my eating away from completely blowing off at my parents.

I feel as if ill never be able to escape my food addiction. I feel prisoned for eternity. I don't want to live like this, but its part of my whole being. It has fuzed itself into every fiber of me. The only way to escape it is to kill myself.

Ohhh 😔

I long for a aub💖💖