Latest Posts by bubblemintfairy - Page 4

Why the fuck is he with her so much. It can't be a coincidence that so many times I've seen him he's with her. Are they dating? I'm 75% sure that girl is one of the girls that talked shit abt him, but things can change. He probs wants her, even if she doesn't want him. It makes me want cry, makes me want to carve up her pretty face so he would ignore her, makes me isolate him so he would only think about me, and it makes me want to cut myself to forget.

I wish I wasn’t who I am. I feel like in my heart I’m disgusting

If he ain't like this I don't want him /hj

Treat me like your toy, I’m made solely for your pleasure, be so very selfish with me, be greedy, be greedy, be so very greedy.

I feel like I'm one gained kg away from taking an hammer to my Jaw so I couldn't eat solid foods again.

I’m at an awkward stage now where my body begs me to rot in bed, but I know better.

Still, I’ve been at that awkward stage for years now, and I know better.

I should shower, I should eat, I should become active, take my vitamins, take care of myself, because I know better.

So why is it that I know better, but don’t do any of that?

I wish I had someone who I could tell about about feelings. I just want to speak then to someone so they would suffocate me even a little less.

I'm so tired. I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up

Where can I find a man like that lol??

Many hours

I feel like i need a change of environment. I love my mother, I like my room, it's lovely, spacious but still comfy, I like playing games with my parents once in a while, watching movies with my dad on weekend nights whenever I have the mental energy (I wish I had it more of the time), I love my pets, I like walking in my area, even when I have an absolutely horrible person living in the same house the other aspects are still so lovely.

But whenever I get home from school im just miserable. And I feel like I become the worst version (atleast one of em lol) when I'm miserable in this place. I need out and even tho I don't wanna leave in any way, I feel trapped. And sadly, genuinely extremely unfortunately, killing myself isn't an option.

Living alone is a fantasy for sure. I would barely buy food since I don't want to waste money and I don't deserve nor need it, but I would take my treadmill and dumbells with me so I can exercise the thoughts of hunger away. I could also cut and cry without worrying about being caught, to try to cope with my constant feeling of misery.

My life has suddenly become so empty. It was empty before, but I didn't feel it. Now I feel it.

Nothing interests me, i can barely even malasaptive daydream anymore, not even scrolling on media is unappealing most of the time. I do nothing other than binging and fantazising about him and suicide, both things I year for so much but can't have. Both fantazises so unfilling.

Is this too much to ask for???

I wish I knew what he thought of me. What thought come into his head when he glides his gaze over me? I would even want to know if it's bad, it's better than living in the unknown, I could change if possible and I could use the sadness to cut myself.

If only I could read his mind, better yet control it.

Ffs obviously my mother enters the room next to me just a little while before I planned to start cutting. I can't risk her walking in to me cutting myself. She asked me how I was and I told her so and so. And she told me that she misses the girl who would enjoy being sometimes and asked how she could change my current situation. I do put in effort to not show how bad I feel to my parents, I suppress my tears, screams and breakdowns, but I guess that's not enough. I have to start smiling, being happy and joyful. I don't know if I can.

Also now I'll have to cut myself in the school bathroom tomorrow which is like 2 times harder than at home, I wish I was good at cutting myself, but I can't do anything right.

I'm so sleepy, I feel like I'm sick. Moving my body is hard. But I still have to cut myself for eating before I go to sleep.

I hate how i have no brainpower in the evenings, the worst thing is that I have no self discipline aswell. I'm just a disgusting pile of useless and self sabotaging flesh.

My mind is so hazy that if I don't see a person for like a day I can almost forget that they exist. I wonder if I went away for a few weeks would I be able to forget my parent enough to forget how much I would hurt them, to defeat the quilt for just a minute and finally be able to kill myself.

I wish they just didn't love me, than I could have been buried for a long time by now.

I want to die. My life isn't even that bad right now, days go by fine. But being in my body and mind is like the ultimate prison sentence, I want out. I wish to carve all my organs out and then my brain and lay it on a cold surface.

i’m looking for an obedient puppy boy who will unconditionally fulfill all my anxious desires

The thought of him haunts me. The desire to be near him, to be apart of his little friendgroup clouds my brain without my wish. Most of the time my brain can't help but to imagine my current situation in a world where my desires, or atleast a fraction of them are true.

But im still in my reality and the constant realizations hurt a lot. This is the closest I will probably get to romantic love in my life. A painful and overwhelming desire for someone I haven't talked to.

Binge eating has and is destroying my life. It has been so many years I can't even remember when I had a normal idea of food.

I genuinely don't know how to stop. I have stopped doing low cal restriction, I have raised my calories a lot, but I still binge at the end of the day.

I can't live on like this, I just want to escape this body and mind.

The things I would do for him to feel like that towards me.

I thought my life was meaningless and aimless, but all that changed with her. Now I'm alive with a purpose, obsessed with giving her everything I am and can be. I'm filled with determination, and every single minute of the day I can't wait to see her again. When I look in the mirror, nothing matters - only her.

I crave his warmth so bad. He looks like he would be so warm to the touch. Being in his presence sends my heart into overdrive, being able to be in his arms would simply make my mind melt. That's all I could ask for. No thoughts other than his warmth and touch.

The thought of being so close to him in comparison to the whole world, but still never even getting close to him destroys me. He is all I want, I even yearn for the pain that would come with knowing him better, even for cutting myself because Id be constantly reminded he will never feel the same or when he interacts with other girls.

The desire my mind has for him is insane, I yearn for him even when I know he is not that great, that I would only get hurt the closer I get. But my desire only feels to be growing, its suffocating and it drives me mad that I can't do anything about it.

I wish the universe would just bring us together somehow, it wouldn't be that hard, but it's just something I can't orchestrate on my own. I plead for it to do so when seeing lucky times, hoping it would hear.

Does anybody know any simple love spells?

I was not made to be happy, it seems to me I was made to be miserable. I've realized that I am unable to have fun like others, interact and feel joy like others, to see life like others, to enjoy things and activities like others. My face doesn't get that puffy even when I cry frantically for hours, the redness around my eyes always fades very quickly. Ironically it really is as if my body was made to be miserable.

One of my darkest secrets or thought, is that I wish, fantazise abt my parents dying. I actually don't want them to die, i love them so much, I want them to live happily till they're very old. But they are the thing that is stopping me from killing myself. I know it would destroy them, ruin their lives, I've already done that a bit being alive, I can't do it even more. I can't hurt them like that. But killing myself is my only true desire.

I simply can't be happy in my body, with this mind. That's why I want out, even when I won't be happy, I atleast won't be miserable, I will be free. I genuinely feel I am either not meant to exist at all or only meant to exist to feel miserable, both make me want to die either way.

I spend my nights wishing something would get better but it never does, it only gets worse. These are supposedly the best years of my life, what the fuck is the rest gonna be like that then. Worse of course lol.

Do I actually like him or do I wish someone would make me feel literally anyhting else else other than sonder, hopelessness , anger, dispear, misery or just emptiness??

I guess we'll never know.

I wish I could just approach him. I wish faith would someone make us cross roads. I wish I knew what he likes in a girl so I could know how to be around him. I wish I could just have an excuse to talk to him, so I could look at his face freely.

i want someone to be violently obsessed with me. i want my existence to mean the world to someone

Me flirting