The laws of the physical plan no longer hold my soul I will feast one day
70 posts
Latest Posts by cryptic-calling-card - Page 2
The difference between constructive criticism and criticism is nothing because I will cry at both
Yeah.
*Sweats* well that’s one way to go around a divorce
A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?”
The man stammered, “Yes.”
Bang! The robber shoots him.
He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the wife and demands, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The wife quickly responds, “No….but my husband did!”
Their not wrong
U ever wanna cook a pop-tart in the oven... still in the package.
Yo what the fuck
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine’s day cards, write inside them and stamp them with “Love” stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can’t contain his curiosity and approaches the man. “You must have 500 or more cards there,” the bartender says. “I’ve got to admit I’m curious what you’re doing.” “Oh, every year at Valentine’s Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed ‘Guess Who?’” the guy says. “But why?” the bartender asks. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the guy replies.
:D
The Dreamsmp is a Minecraft role play server with many unique characters and storylines as each and every person involved plays their own main character. Many different arcs and backstories have been included to give these characters more life in their own ways inside the world created separate from the people playing them. The smp has taken many platforms by storm creating more questions then answering. As each stream, vod, and clip is posted more background is given for the world created by these YouTube and Twitch stars. From the War for Independence to the current Eggpire arc the story created has characters coming out of their old shells and into new people through their growth throughout the timeline.
This what they have trouble with?
watching mainstream media trying to wrap their head around the popularity of the dreamSMP is so funny. because it’s like. so fucking popular that you Cannot Deny its impact on youtube, twitch, and, to an extent, twitter or the implications it has on the minecraft gaming live-streaming community as a whole.
but the people who have to write the articles barely know what a mine craft ess em pee is, much less one that revolves around roleplay. i just imagine someone gets assigned to do an article, thinking it’ll be a quick piece about Dream and his Friends they can churn out in a few days. only to find that there’s a whole fucking Storyline behind it they have to figure out how to Briefly Summarize in a short news article.
Jeff...Jeff no
Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill?
Because they had to go home and change first.
STOP!
that is all. continue scrolling.
It’s silent???
gonna start using salmons as the correct plural the way the gods intended
Pineapple: sticky pineapple chicken & Hawaiian Pizza
name 2 foods with the same ingredients that otherwise bear no similarities whatsoever?
It’s preparing for the future
every time I swallow a hot drink & it goes down the wrong tube it's like....what r u a noob at this???? u a noob a drinking beverages now???? fucking BEVERAGES???????
But self-driving cars would be to easy now wouldn’t it
"living in interesting times" it was supposed to be self-driving cars. i cannot overemphasize IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SELF-DRIVING CARS
Marry Christmas and a hope that scp-4666 enjoys its human sacrifice yet again. And to all a good night.
I wonder when it will finally stop
time keeps passing in a consistent & predictable pattern and i find this incredibly unreasonable actually
Anybody else get the sudden craving to slurp someone’s digestive tract like spaghetti?
Nom
*sighs* kay
It’s the truth why are you mad
Are candy canes just bloody elf bones?
you should be punished for this probably
The fact that people read the shit I write brings my form farther into existence soon enough I’ll be able to take form
Person A: Well you know what they say
Person B: No I don’t know what they say
Person A: Yeah me neither.
Random pigs giving out weapons in mazes is not a legitimate way to pick a leader
My existence is pointless unless it is fueled by fear
Screw Natzis
Don’t, stop, my secret
