Latest Posts by kid-in-th3-k0rn3r - Page 2

Our local newspaper ran a story about the legendary graffiti artist who recently passed away and. Literally everything about it is fucking insane. I'm insane about it.

So this guy has been extremely active for around fifteen years, during which he spread these beautiful, high quality pieces all over the country, way over a thousand of his standard signature, and probably thousands more. He did completely batshit stuff like literally spray painting an entire train from top to bottom or leaving his signature at the top of a 600ft tall overpass and this whole time, only five people from his crew know who he really is. To everyone else it's a complete mystery.

And then he dies at the age of 35. A few weeks after his death, his crew shows up at his completely unassuming parents' doorstep, reveals who they are and asks if they can host a memorial exhibition of his art.

Turns out, this dude has been leading an insane double life. In the daytime he was a meek little office worker with a partially paralyzed arm and no social life to speak of. In the nighttime he was a fucking legend. Not only did he climb that fucking 600ft overpass, he did it WITH A PHYSICAL DISABILITY. THE MADLAD. And throughout the entire time, fifteen years, he got caught once. ONCE. HE DID ALL THAT UNNOTICED. THAT'S INSANE.

They're wanting to change the definition of water to see which water would qualify under the Clean Water Act...I wish I was making this up.

What this means, in layman's terms, is that not all water or wetlands would be under environmental protections, so some could legally be dumped in, scraped out of, or otherwise harmed.

The comment period for this is pretty short (just a few days left!) so please submit comments asking for ALL water to be protected.

CHAT TH POPE JUST FUCKING DIED WTF LMAO

I didn't know I had Twitter

Reddit is like if Tumblr and 4chan had a hate child

TX2 IS COMING TO MY CITY ON TOUR HELP

Get reblogged mf @caffeinated-object

this dumb website is in need of some love, so reblog this if you like the person you reblogged it from!!!

NEVER MIND

NEVER MIND

NEVER MIND

Oops I just binged 4 books in a week, guess I'm in a new fandom now.

Oops I just binged 4 books in a week, guess I'm in a new fandom now.

Happy weed day!

Thinking about the fact I had to delete my old account, because one of my irl freinds scrolled so far through the billford tag (or was it fiddlestan) that they found one of my posts.

No seriously why is ford all over Tumblr.

in a polyamorous relationship with the oxford comma and the em dash

I hate jk Rowling so much. Like "ooo cool magic book with queer coding, I wonder who made it!" .... "fuck"

1: Coyote, Fox, or raccoon. I'm a therian and these are some of my main theriotypes.

2: I rarely wear anything but jeans, converse (rainbow + black custom pride), and a black graphic T. Most of the time I just throw on jeans and say "skeleton shirt go brrr".

3: witch probably. But like the badass feminism witches not the old ones.

4:depressed queer middleschooler

5:normal milk because I'm not a psychopath (or have allergys)

6: cereal bc duh

7: either ratbucket, penis bees, or spleen consumption.

thankyou for the tag @preposterousray 🖤

get to know your mutuals♡

if you could be any animal which one would you choose to be? (can be fictional) (and you can explain why if you want to) I think I would choose to be a bengal tiger because I have always resonated with them 🐅 <3

what would you choose when you're in a hurry and have nothing to wear?

hm, a black singlet top, fishnet tights and black denim shorts with lace, hair in two spiky buns, eyeshadow and lipgloss, some bracelets and obviously my scoliosis brace but that is a mobility aid lol

are you a witch, vampire, fairy, dryad, siren or a mermaid and why do you think so?

I think either a witch (darkness, chaos, magic, freedom, and power, and animals, besides I’m already into witchery) and a vampire (turning into a bat, flying, supernatural powers, macabre)

what is your style?

idk man I love and admire both gothic fashion and punk-rock fashion. diy, scraps, lace, patches, studs, spikes, fishnets, jewellery, mesh, paint, safety pins, stockings, short skirts and shorts, crop tops, weird hairstyles and makeup, expressing individuality and rebellion and the macabre and unusual — and if I’m being formal then thrifted suit jackets and vampy curly updos ✨

regular milk or plant based milk?

regular milk 🥛

which one do you put first milk or cereal?

milk because I am a psychopath

nah I’m actually kidding I obviously put cereal first I just wanted to annoy whoever was reading this

fav way to kill someone? (idgaf if you never thought of it now you have to think of something and make it at least a bit cool I'm begging)

pull one of their eyes out with my fingers, shove a handkerchief into their eye socket, and then throw them the fuck overboard a ship to drown in the unforgiving sea kaz brekker style

tagging @vilecemetery @rottingangel9 @mossterious @urlocalbone @butterflypython @ball-of-insecurities @sandmoondooh @calder-a @sparklykat-hideoutenthusiast and anyone else who wants to join

SJDJSKWKSJFJD YES YES YES YES

dad Stan part 5 anyone?

part 1 | last part|

this one is cute, but it also broke my brain a little. Ford doesn’t know shit about kids, and he’s so scared of embarrassing himself in front of an audience (a 5 year old). Lola is a hater frfr. No.1 Ford hater.

I love that for her.

Ford and his surprise niece sign a peace treaty.

Breakfast was awkward. Lola was sitting directly opposite Ford, eating the only good thing left in the house. A plain slice of bread. She kept glaring angrily at Ford, who couldn’t meet her in the eyes. She clung to Fiddleford, who was focused on some programming. The tension was palpable.

“Um” Ford started, “I guess I haven’t properly introduced myself-“

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to” said Lola, cutting Ford off with a deathly glare. Fiddleford stifled a giggle, not looking up from his work. 

“Come on Lola, I feel bad tha-“

“Good.” Lola stuffed the rest of her bread in her mouth. She tugged on Fiddleford’s arm.

“Mr gucket, let’s GO!”

“Lola, stay!” Ford said, perhaps slightly louder than he ought to, standing up suddenly. Lola looked up at him, with terror in her eyes. She clung to Fiddleford and started to cry.

Ford felt bad. He hadn’t meant to scare her. He sheepishly sat back down as Fiddleford comforted the girl. he gave Ford a glare and Ford flushed.

“It’s ok, miss lola. He didn’t mean it” Fiddleford said, rubbing Lola’s back. She was wailing now, so Fiddleford took her to the living room to calm down. 

Ford just stared into his coffee, at a loss for what his life had become. He was tired, having not slept at all in the past 24 hours. His body ached and he could still taste the spiders in his mouth. He had risked the world, doomed his BROTHER to a fate worse than death. 

Ford always figured that he and Stan could be brothers again, one day. Maybe after Ford had gotten famous, Stan would come back into his life. Ford would’ve insisted Stan grovel for forgiveness, and would accept. He’d show Stan all the amazing things he had done, and Stan would’ve been proud. And they’d talk over drinks, and tell each other all about their lives. And Stan would stay. 

It didn’t seem likely that Stan would want anything to do with him now. Ford still remembered the last thing Stan had said to him. Don’t fucking speak to me, Stanford. They hadn’t spoken in a decade, but it hurt all the same. Ford never considered a world where Stan wouldn’t want to talk to him. He remembered the look on Stan’s face as he fell through the portal. It haunted him. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see it. Stan must’ve hated him.

Ford’s eyes welled up with tears. He wished he had something to do, something productive to distract from the pain. He and Fiddleford were pretty much done with project Mentem. Fiddleford just had to sort out a few bugs in the program, nothing major. But that left Ford with nothing to do except drown in his own thoughts, contemplating just how much he screwed up. 

Fiddleford re entered the room, looking tired. 

“Ford, ya gotta be more careful with her. She thinks yer possessed by a demon”

Ford looked at his friend, wide eyed. 

“She knows about bill?”

Fiddleford shrugged.

“She told me she’s was hungry when I tried to ask her.”

It took a few more hours, but by lunch time they were ready to encrypt Ford’s mind. Ford wanted to do it instantly, but Fiddleford insisted they eat first. 

“Ford, seriously? There’s nothing to eat! When’s the last time ya went to the store?”

“I’ve been preoccupied” Ford scowled. “Maybe we should just do the encryption now!”

Just then, Lola ran in, holding Lizard in one hand, and a sheet of paper in the other.

“Mr Gucket! Lizard is hungry!” She yelled, standing in front of Fiddleford. “It lunch time.”

“Oh is he, now!” Fiddleford said in a sing-song voice. He was looking at Ford. “And what would Lizard like to eat?”

Lola considered this, then held up Lizard.

“Pizza!”

Fiddleford went to pick up the pizza, leaving Ford to watch Lola. He sat awkwardly, whilst Lola drew on the crumpled sheet of paper she was holding with a blue ball point pen. Ford felt tense, he could feel himself sweating. It took far too long for him to speak.

“So… uh… Lola!”

Lola stopped drawing, and looked up. Ford wiped the sweat from his brow. He didn’t realise kids could be this scary.

“Well- um… I-“ he stuttered, under the pressure of Lola’s unmoved stare. 

“Wh- what are you… um - what are you drawing?” Ford asked. He rubbed the back of his neck as Lola stared. 

Eventually her face softened, and she showed him the picture. It was a number of crudely drawn people in a line, each with a single defining characteristic. Ford was sure he was a much better artist at her age. He pointed at the smallest figure, which had a triangle for the hair.

“Is- um is that you?” Ford said. Lola nodded

“I’m going to draw Lizard too. I ride him into battle. That’s why I got a sword, see!”

She pointed at a line she drew next to her self portrait. Ford nodded.

“That’s very efficient. Who is everyone else?”

Lola pointed at a scraggly looking figure next to her. “That’s Stan. He like you, but less evil.”

“…right”

Lola continued, she was on a roll now.

“And here is Mama. Stan told me she used to be queen of the pirates before she got sick. That’s why she got a eyepatch and a pirate hat.”

“Your mother was a pirate?”

Lola nodded vigorously, with more confidence.

“Yeah! That’s how she met my papa! Stan said he was a star sailor. That means he came from space.”

“… and Stan told you that?”

Lola nodded enthusiastically. Ford sighed. 

“Right. Anyway, I thought Stanley was your father?”

“Stan is my dad because he look after me since mama got sick and died.”

“But you have another dad.”

“Noooo I have a papa. Stan said he got kidnapped by mermaids before I was born. That’s why he can’t look after me.”

Ford looked at Lola confused.

“Lola, mermaids don’t kidnap people. Actually, it’s quite fascinating, see, mermaids are closely related to sirens and-“ 

Ford blabbered on, and Lola stopped listening pretty fast. When Fiddleford re entered the room, this time with Pizza. About halfway through eating, Lola remembered that she hated Ford, and stopped responding to him.

They all went down to Ford’s secret study. Lola waddled behind Fiddleford, seemingly unnerved.

“Mr gucket… what are we doing?”

Fiddleford and ford passed a look between them. 

“Well, Lola, ya know what ya said about Ford…” Fiddleford started.

“Hes evil.”

“No, Lola about the- well um…” Fiddleford stuttered as Lola clung to his leg. She buried her face into his leg.

“You’re not gonna let him hurt me, right mr gucket?” She said, voice quavering. 

Fiddleford kneeled down beside her, and offered a hug. Lola crawled into his arms.

“No one here’s gonna hurt ya.”

Lola looked up, straight at Ford.

“But… what about the demon?”

Ford was shaking. He couldn’t bear the fear in Lola’s eyes.

“I’m going to destroy him.” Ford said. 

Fiddleford picked Lola up, and they kept walking. 

“Hows’about ya tell me about this demon.” Fiddleford said, “like what did he look like?”

“He looks stupid,” Lola said, “like a nacho, he got a silly hat and he pretended to be my friend. But Stan said to not trust strangers, so I said no. And then it went scary”

“Bill…” Ford whispered. “When did you first see him?”

“Um… when I was dreaming I think. In the car.”

Ford rushed closer to Lola. “What did he show you, Lola! This is important! You didn’t make a deal with him, did you? Why did he contact you?”

Lola started to cry. Fiddleford comforted her, glaring at Ford, who looked embarrassed. 

“Be gentle, Stanford! She’s only little!”

Lola had calmed down by the time they got to Ford’s study. She still refused to look Ford in the eye. Ford couldn’t blame her, but he also couldn’t risk her being used by bill. He needed to talk to her properly, but she despised him. He wondered about this as he fiddled around with Project Memtem. They hadn’t figured out a way to make it not project memories, but that gave him an idea.

“Lola?” He said, tentatively, “do you really think I’m evil?” 

Lola nodded. Ford sighed, before continuing.

“Do you know what this machine does?”

She shook her head.

“It’s a device designed to read brain waves and translate them into coherent thought. Fiddleford and I repurposed it so it can also encrypt your thoughts to prevent outside influences from interfering.”

Lola looked confused. “I’m five.” She said. Ford felt embarrassment flush on his cheeks. He was glad the room was dark.

“Um. Yes. Well, to put it simply, it reads your mind. And uh…” Ford stuttered trying to think of a simple explanation. Luckily, Fiddleford was there.

“It stops demons from Gettin’ in yer brain” Fiddleford said. Lola nodded in understanding. Ford continued.

“Yes, thank you Fiddleford. I’m hoping that this will keep Bill out of my mind.”

Lola looked Ford in the eyes, confusion etched in her face.

“bill said you was his friend?” She asked it like it was a question. Ford’s face went grave.

“He isn’t my friend, Lola. He used me, tormented me for months. He tricked me into building the portal when I was lonely and vulnerable. I thought he was a muse, but in reality, I was just his puppet.”

Lola looked confused. She turned to Fiddleford.

“Mr gucket, what did Ford say?”

“He said that Bill is a bully, sweet pea.”

“Oh. That’s mean.” Lola said, seemingly gaining a new level of understanding.

“Stan said that I gotta punch bullies.”

Ford sat himself in Project Mentem, and put the helmet on. It was actually just a repurposed colander, Ford’s only one. 

“Lola” he said, his thoughts appearing on screen, “I know you don’t trust me, but it is my hope that by reading my thought, you will know I am being honest.”

Lola squinted. “Sounds like a scam.”

Thoughts of embarrassment appeared on the screen, things like ‘Lola thinks I’m uncool’ and ‘that’s exactly what Stan’s daughter would say’. Lola couldn’t read very well yet, but she did recognised Stan’s name.

“Stan!” She said, pointing. “Can you show me pictures please?”

“What?” Ford responded. He was expecting her to demand that he prove his allegiance to her. Not… this.

“I want to see pictures of Stan. I miss him” she said, matter of factly.

Ford thought about Stan, trying to keep his anger and annoyance out of his mind. He remembered the good bits of Stan, the bits where he stuck up for him, where he was loyal to the end. The Stan he trusted when he could no one else. A picture of Stan and Ford as kids appeared on the monitor, happy and smiling, having been caught in some harmless delinquency.”

“Stan’s a baby!” Lola said, coming closer to Ford. “He’s not as cute as I am.”

Ford laughed. “Stan was a bit of a trouble maker.”

“Stan said I need to be more like a trouble maker. He said I need to be Im-be-ten-den”

“He would say that, wouldn’t he.” Lola nodded.

“Did Stan REALLY fight the jersey devil?” Lola asked, and pictures of Stan and Ford hunting the jersey devil appeared. Lola laughed.

They went on like that for a while, with Lola asking Ford questions about Stan, and Ford telling her stories of their childhood antics. Lola sat on the floor in-front of Ford, lizard in tow. At some point, Fiddleford had left them down there. Neither of them noticed. Lola didn’t seem afraid of him anymore. But she still looked a little sad.

“Ford…” she started, “… do you love Stan?”

Ford wasn’t expecting that. His thoughts when quiet almost instantly, before flurrying to life, faster than anyone could keep up.

Of course he loved Stan. They were brothers, twins. As much as they fought, as much as they haven’t talked in a decade, Ford still loved him. Still trusted him with his life.

But there was that sense of betrayal, the anger. Stan was a cheat and a crook, who would do anything to get his way. If Stan listened once in a while, if only he had been more responsible, more mature. They wouldn’t have had to spend 10 years apart from each other. But Stan was self centred, he didn’t think about anyone other than-

Ford looked down to see Lola, staring up at him. Lola could see all his thought, his ugliest ones. She didn’t look impressed.

“That’s mean.” She said, simply. And Ford sighed.

“You’re right, Lola. I’m sorry.”

Lola shook her head. “It’s ok. Stan said he loves you even if your mean.”

Ford felt his eyes water, his breaths shallow and his heart beat. Stan came because he loved Ford, even after a decade of no contact. The first time he rang, he came, even when bill told Stan ‘I never loved you’ in Ford’s voice. And now he was stuck, in whatever fucked up dimension Bill was from, because Ford got tricked, got his ego boosted by a triangle. Ford sobbed. It was his fault that Stan was gone, that Lola had no one to look after her. He had to fix it.

He hadn’t noticed Lola had moved until she had crawled onto his lap.

“I miss Stan too” she whispered. 

“I’m so sorry Lola. It’s my fault.”

“It’s ok. You can help me to rescue Stan. Lizard has a plan, but Mr gucket didn’t listen to me.”

Despite himself, Ford smiled. “I’d love to hear your plan, Lola.”

Project Memtem had seemingly worked. Ford managed to sleep through the night, and Bill couldn’t access his body! He still plagued Ford’s dreams, but his body could rest. He slept for 20 hours straight, and when he awoke, he took a shower. It felt good. He felt better than he had in a long time. 

Ford found his house cleaner than it had been, with a plate of food on the table left out for him.  He made himself a nice mug of coffee. He sat in the silence for a moment, breathing in the cold air. He needed to pay his heating bill. 

The door swung open, and Fiddleford entered, swinging Lola on his arm.

“Ah! You’re awake!” Fiddleford said. “Lola and I went huntin’ for unicorns!”

“I punched him where the sun don’t shine” Lola said darkly. Then she stuffed her hand in her pocket and pulled out a bundle of unicorn hair.

“You managed to get them to give you some unicorn hair?!” Ford exclaimed excitedly.

“‘Give’ is a strong word. I showed Lola some of my old rodeo skills, from back in Tennessee”

“UNICORNS TASTE LIKE CANDY” Lola shouted. Ford looked confused, before brushing it off. 

“Great! Thank you, Lola, now if you just give me the-“

“NO” she yelled, stuffing the unicorn hair back into her pocket.

“First you have to promise.”

Ford blinked. “Promise what?”

Lola pulled out a piece of paper from her other pocket, with scribble kid writing on it. She gave it to Ford.

“This is a peace treaty.” She said. Ford couldn’t make out what she had written.

“Okay… what does it say.”

“It said I will give you unicorn hair and stop hating you, if you promise to rescue Stan. And also let me help.”

Ford smiled.

“I promise.”

WHY ARE ALL THE HOT PEOPLE AROACE OR LESBIAN

How did Ford pine get on Tumblr

[so horny ive forgotten social codes] i'd like to do some butterfly taxidermy shit to them

I feel for you, recently lost a cat to cancer :(

Attention gravity falls enjoyers! I am opening emergency writing commissions because my cat needs meds and I’m poor!

I can write anything Gravity Falls-centric; AU, ship, NSFW, etc. I’m an English Lit masters student and I type 105 words per minute; you will have quality work within just a few days of commissioning and it’s for a very good cause 🥺

Deets under cut

I will charge 1 cent per word, with a $10 minimum. So:

1,000 words for $10

5,000 words for $50

10,000 for $100

For NSFW, there will be a price increase. Expect it to go to 2 cents per word, but we can negotiate specifics on a case by case basis.

I will accept commissions until I reach $150 to cover cat med costs.

Ko-fi

Support Yuki Fruits Basket on Ko-fi! ❤️. ko-fi.com/yukifruitsbasket

Support Yuki Fruits Basket On Ko-fi. Ko-fi lets you support the people and causes you love with small donations

If you want an example of my writing, check out my work on AO3, linked on my profile!

And here’s some pics of my scrungly old lady

If your bellow a bed you could say that.. Your under-a-rest

all these dang beautiful men eating out of my .... lake.... wait?

I need anon hate 😔

Love it when tumblr users display the strangest anon hate they've gotten on their banner. It's like a deer's head mounted on the wall but the deer also calls you a slur

The contents of my stomach are trying to make there way out. Violently. From both ends.

Kinda bored, might overthrow the government later idk

THANK YOU

I stumbled upon a website that allows you to blend any colors evenly no matter how opposite on the spectrum they are.

sharing the knowledge

very helpful art resource

He would kill a CEO

I love thinking about the biggest real crimes and think about whether Stan Pines would do them.

like, I think Stan would be DB cooper, and he would be the Silk Road guy.

He wouldn’t do Theranos because he respects Ford to much to ruin his reputation in the scientific community.

He would fake discovering an element for clout.

He would shoot JFK, but purely for personal reasons.

All heists are definitely crimes Stan would do.

Stan would totally be a hacker, asking Ford to build him tools that make it easy.

Stan would in-fact be one of those bike phone snatchers in London.

Stan would ABSOLUTELY sell dodgy copper and carry around the complaints he got as a trophy.

Stan would steal the Mona Lisa.

he wouldn’t do any of the actually scary crimes, but it’s so funny to think about some of these events and replace the people doing them with Stan

please! Reblog with real crimes you think Stan would do!

I had to take the test twice because my first result is “cinnamon role” and I was in detention for cocking a glass door and shattering it today. Also I have tried to kill people.(it’s fine I was… 9)

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this:

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz (How Fandom Would See You If You Were A Fictional Character)

Thank you for the tag @machiavellli !

HHIIII i saw your post about interaction, so i am here >:3

i was gonna add a drawing of my sona waving but i cannot (it's reasonable to disable images in asks don't feel bad about that, please)

I didn't even know I had that disabled XD allso thanks so much I'm terified of reaching out :,)

Ask me any and all, I'm bored.

Wanna be nosy? Here's your chance.

0: Height 1: Virgin? 2: Shoe size 3: Do you smoke? 4: Do you drink? 5: Do you take drugs? 6: Age you get mistaken for 7: Have tattoos? 8: Want any tattoos? 9: Got any piercings? 10: Want any piercings? 11: Best friend? 12: Relationship status 13: Biggest turn ons 14: Biggest turn offs 15: Favorite movie 16: I’ll love you if 17: Someone you miss 18: Most traumatic experience 19: A fact about your personality 20: What I hate most about myself 21: What I love most about myself 22: What I want to be when I get older 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) 24: My relationship with my parent(s) 25: My idea of a perfect date 26: My biggest pet peeves 27: A description of the girl/boy I like 28: A description of the person I dislike the most 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend 30: What I hate the most about work/school 31: What your last text message says 32: What words upset me the most 33: What words make me feel the best about myself 34: What I find attractive in women 35: What I find attractive in men 36: Where I would like to live 37: One of my insecurities 38: My childhood career choice 39: My favorite ice cream flavor 40: Who wish I could be 41: Where I want to be right now 42: The last thing I ate 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately 44: A random fact about anything

I was just trying to think of a last name for an oc and I thought of one and I said "oh that seems familier" and I looked up "name fandom" and then realized it was my stepdads lastname 😭