I'm Really Annoyed Rn And I Don't Want To Actually Fix My Problems So Vent Post :P Writing This To A

I am no one's favorite anything. The only people that "like" me only like what I can do for them.

when you finally reach that numb after the breakdown >>>

thinking you're being overdramatic and paranoid over nothing only to be proven completely right is such a sickening feeling.

Having suicidal depression is like having a constant itch you can’t scratch. Even if you don’t plan on actually committing suicide the feeling doesn’t just go away. It’s constantly in the back of your mind. Whenever road blocks happen in your life instead of figuring out how to fix things like a normal person would your brain immediately goes to, “just kill yourself.” When you wake up in the morning the first thought you have is about killing yourself because your dreams are the only time you can escape the pain of living with suicidal depression. You find no worth in your accomplishments. Even when you actually do accomplish something it’s like it has no worth because you don’t find worth in yourself. You constantly compare yourself to your peers and wonder if you would have actually been succseful like them if you didn’t have a mental illness. Even if you do feel happy for a moment that moment ends and you remember that you have no worth, are stupid, haven’t accomplished anything in life and are a waste of space who needs to just end it already. You know you’re unlovable. No one wants to be with someone with suicidal depression because they don’t want to be with someone who will bring them down. You constantly are thinking about killing yourself and knowing that you can’t makes you feel trapped. Dying isn’t a soluation but you don’t want to live another disappointing year where nothing but bad things happen to you and you don’t grow or change at all. Having suicidal depression is watching everyone around you grow and change while you remain the same. And no one can see how much pain you are in.

i was so small and new when i was ruined, i never stood a chance

Do you ever isolate yourself from people because you don’t have anything to talk about except for your sadness/mental health? Because you’ve been talking about it for years now so you don’t want to annoy them anymore. Or bring them down with your negativity. So you just sit there silently all alone, choking with all your unsaid words waiting for I don’t know what. Because by now you know it doesn’t get better.

Leave a comment down below, if you can relate.

"if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" babe slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

I just want to be important, too.