Latest Posts by walrusspartan - Page 4

Amish people really said feck doing dishes

Possibly the most fascinating thing on all of Wikipedia: The table of which technologies are allowed by different Amish communities

Hey can someone find the bootlicker photo that I've seen on here before? It's like, the bald guy and the boot is like, steel toed. Trying to send it to a "friend"

reblog if your name isn't Ashley.

2,121,566 people are not Ashley and counting!

We’ll find you Ashley.

EA (Sports, to the game)

Remove the first and last letter of your name. Let’s see how cool is your new name.

Ranci.

I have never seen a more perfect example of silent agony

Probably one of my greatest accomplishments during quarantine is pitching the idea to my mom (a teacher) for her school to operate like Japanese schools where the kids stay in one class and teachers rotate when they reopen. I animeified my mom's school

Lost in the sauce

everytime zuko goes out he leaves iroh a note that says “gone insane, back later”

I thought the third one read "Because you're about to be dead." Idk how I added a word

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m working there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates appropriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

Irn bru is a soda not coffee

Bsh me too, the fuck?

This is a Wise statement

"What is it that the child has to teach?

The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not.

And the child is right."

— Rabbi Tzvi Freeman

Who's gonna tell him?

is this orange or yellow.

so

we have this app called toogoodtogo where restaurants/cafes/bakeries/hotels and so on sell their leftovers for really cheap to reduce foodwaste

i got all of this for €4 from starbucks

bless

why did i just open up tumblr to a bunch of rat memes?

Damn, y'all really out here recreating The Crucible 400 years later, huh?

the world was severely lacking weird little girl memes so i had to fill the void

What sports anime is this?

I feel like I've seen this show

There's three movies so you could have one f-bomb in each

If I'm ever in a sexual situation and the other person says "who's your daddy" I will completely ruin the mood by replying with "a piece of shit" and pouting

When you watch a show that's giving you all kinds of feels so you wanna stop watching but you gotta keep going and suddenly you hate yourself and the show but love it at the same time

DON’T FORGET 3.OCT.11

Y’all realize that dude totally stole that idea right?

the wrong amazon is burning and the wrong ice is melting

What about just one side being against the wall

sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid

It really was

Y’all where’s my damn flowers

A few months ago I mentioned to my friend that she should buy her boyfriend flowers because more men should get flowers from their partner and she did it today and apparently he was shaking from excitement and emotions because he’s never recieved flowers before. So, anyway, get yo man some flowers.

Every girl has had the experience where a creepy guy asks for our number and we don’t want to give it to him, but we also don’t want to get gutted in a back alley. “Give him a fake number!” I hear you call, okay and then he says “okay let me call you real quick!” Because they are learning. “Give them your number and then block them!” Okay and then they can plug it into something like Spokeo, pay $10 and know everything about you. So what do you do?

First pick a fake name, I use Jessica, then download the Google Voice app, hook it up to your email, pick a number, and set up a fake greeting with your fake name. You can set it to ring your actual phone like a normal call or text but they don’t have real info on you.

Go forth and don’t get murdered, ladies!