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Red Robin - Blog Posts
Wanted to write out something not-so-heavy, so I'm gonna borrow @arandomao3user's freaky Tim and Bernard pair.
Kink and Bondage go hand-in-hand, but there's a constant problem in the TimBern household. And it's all Tim's fault. He's a fucking escape artist. He keeps getting out of the ropes, the cuffs, the zip ties, the soft restraints, the chains, the really fancy bondage knots that took forever to actually get him into, the specialty restraints, the straitjacket from that one undercover op that went really weird...
It was cute at first when he could play-tackle Tim back to the bed (or floor or table or counter or chair or deck) for a different sort of game, but at this point it's become a problem for the both of them.
Because Tim genuinely can't stop escaping, even when he's into being tied up. Bernard, with equal amounts of frustration and affection, calls it Tim's Robin Reflex. He does it by habit, by accident, and while asleep, on one memorable occasion. Tim's always very sorry, of course, and he is trying so hard to be good for Bernard. It's just that they haven't found that sweet spot yet, that mystery thing that can keep Tim relatively helpless and at Bernard's mercy, but won't trigger the not-fun sort of sense memories that come with years of vigilante work.
So, at a loss and desperate for ideas, Bernard calls his bff.
Jason, actively falling asleep after patrol: "You want advice... On tying up Timmers? Like, shibari 'n whatever? Fucking. Didn't need this in my life, Burn Notice."
Bernard, entirely too awake: "C'mon, Jason; you're one of the most creative people I know and I'm out of ideas. You used to fight all the time! And you have major connections, my man, my buddy, my bestie. Don't you have any alien tech or magical stuff that might work?"
Jason, so tired: "I can ask around later, you freaky...I don't know. I never tied Tim up when we were fighting; I shot him in the thigh once and that slowed him down."
Hearing nothing but dial-tone, Jason sets his phone aside and promptly falls asleep
Three minutes later, Jason sits up in a cold sweat and scrambles for his phone to text Bernard.
J: DO NOT SHOOT TIM
J: BERN. FUCKING ANSWER ME.
J: ISTG IF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS SHOT WHEN I GET OVER THERE I WILL GET YOUR HORNY ASSES NEUTERED
I tried the TikTok AI challenge with DC characters pt 2
Again and the last time hopefully
Ok look crossovers between the batfam and Spiderman where no one knows each other are cool ok but what would be better would be if we take the fact that they've met before in the comics and therefore batman would not want his already caotic kids to meet this dumbass.
So I decided to draw it. Adittionally there are outher marvel character running around I just couldn't fit them into this drawing specifically.
If any one else sees my vision please tell me
Obsessed with the way this ad is popping up in the Bruce Wayne tag
That is fucking amazing
Thank you all for the lovely comments on the standee version. For those who missed it and were asking if I was selling the standees, unfortunately they are sold out because I only made a few but I have two (2) leftover framed print versions of this piece that you can find HERE
They have acrylic finish and partial holographic printing as well. Shares appreciated!
A new JayBart fic, cause I’m weak. ✨
“Four times Tim Drake was oblivious to his best friend dating his brother, and the one time it hit him like a truck.”
Have you considered JayBartTimKon polycule?
Bart being loved by everyone
I would like to see it
OMA Okay, so, YES! I have! I’m a fruitful believer in TimKonBart, but after building the foundation of JayBart, it’s been on my mind non-stop. Starring: Kon being the hotheaded-himbo™, Tim as the Idiot with brains, Jay as the Classy Motherfucker, and Bart as the glue that they literally all depend on and will fight(kill in one case) anyone for. Bart is totally oblivious to his role.
How their polycule works in my mind are like so 💕 (Side note: a Polycule is a network of people connected in a large scale relationship, but not all persons are connected the same way for those that don’t know)
All three Jason, Kon, and Tim have a current romantic relationship with Bart. Kon and Tim are primary partners to each other, with Bart occasionally joining their group. Jason and Kon are more distant; their standpoints vary on each other depending on mood and day. Tim and Jay are brothers, adoptive or not, so there's no relationship other than platonic; I don’t ship any batcest.
Some common occurrences with these roles:
Bart, casually suggesting to Tim and Jay, on separate occasions, that they should work things out and the story is a lot deeper than it may seem. Jay gets pouty about it for a week, and Tim puts it off until he can’t stop thinking about what Bart said until surprisingly, Jay calls him first. The moral of the story, they all take Barts's opinion of them VERY. SERIOUSLY. When it happened after a week, he figured he had nothing to do with it since it was muuuch longer to his perception of time.
Kon and Tim get into another argument because Kon’s being stubborn™, and Tim is also stubborn. So as Bart does, he becomes stubborn about people getting along. He approaches Tim first, giving Kon time to cool off and him an opportunity to catch Tim off guard while he’s sleep-deprived. He talks in his usual upbeat way, asking questions on top of questions faster than Tim can answer so Tim tries answering everything, not even able to process their questions about the argument that just occurred. After he’s satisfied he goes to Kon, knocking on his door politely (something he didn’t do with Tim) and when he’s invited in, he lays out Tim’s side of the story in a much more emotionally heartfelt way that Tim usually isn’t able to put into words. He then leaves and lets them apologize to each other.
The first time Bart dies, and then closely after with Kon’s death, with Tim going through his phase into Red Robin, Jay actually COMFORTS him. For the first time. When Bart did come back, he saw that they got much closer and Jay’s excuse was “You fucking DIED. Never do that again.” and they cry. (Too Bad Bart dies four more times after that)...
I have sooo many ideas on this but I hope you’re satisfied! ❤😊
If you think Tim wouldn’t use Bart’s eidetic memory to his advantage then you thought wrong
Tim: Bart, progress report.
Bart: *goes into a long and detailed spiel about the mission word for word how Tim wrote it looking bored the entire time*
Tim, in the middle of battle: I need the file on [insert villain name]
Bart: *recites the strengths and weaknesses off the top of his head like a pro*
The teams reaction to Bart complaining
Bart: Wally and I had a fight.
Tim: I’m sure he didn’t mean it.
_
Bart: Wally and I had a fight.
Kon: did you win?
-
Bart: Wally and I had a fight.
Cassie: next time, go for the eyes and then strike the throat-
I just imagine how Jay and Bart meet being something stupid.
Bart’s visiting the manor to chill cause they understand his trauma and pain better than any of the flashfam, who also kinda disowned him.
They started a harmless “drink if you have” game and so it begins.
Jason, being a little shit that likes making people uncomfortable by bringing up his death: alright. Drink if you’ve died.
*both Jason and Bart take a shot* (obviously Dami can’t cause he’s underage and not playing)
Duke: dude, you died?
Bart: *shrugs*
*room is silent for a bit*
Bart: *nervous sweats*
Bart: alright so, drink if you’ve been to space-
So on so fourth.
*In the middle of a briefing*
Batman: Our target is a man by the name of Percy Dunn, he's the gangs runner and will be the most likely lead to the main operation.
Bart: Percy Dunn? The Lightning Thief.
Tim: That's Percy Jackson, Bart.
Kon: You don't feel anything?
Tim: closure. Indifference... Hunger.
Kon: Wow, you're like a robot.
Tim: Thanks, I got the same comment on my tinder.
Bart: So have you told Dick about us?
Tim: What? No. That's like posting it on my Facebook page... if I had a Facebook page.
Tim: or had any desire to share intimate life details with people I'd avoid on the street.
Kon and Bart: *eating insane amounts of Pie*
Kon: Tim, you gotta order a piece of this pie.
Tim: I did. You guys immediately ate it.
Kon: What would make you possibly believe I have any idea that I knew where this "wolf" is?
Tim: Oh, well first off, somebody called in an anonymous report that some masked teen was flying through Metropolis with a moving tarp. Secondly, I'm dating you and I know when you're lying and third, there's around 300 packets of tarter sauce on the doorstep.
Kon: You're right... I'll start watching my cholesterol.
Tim: Kon.
Kon: Bart was here?
Tim, walking to a walk in closet and opening it so the wolf tumbles out: Kon.
Kon: ... Whaaaat? Bart must've... hid that... there. Without me knowing... Crazzzy.
Bart: I'm the best observer you know!
Tim: Last week you thought that a sponge in the tower was an owl.
Bart: If you'd stop buyin' ‘em in bird colors, that would stop happening.
Bart, trying hard to be the distraction: I'm so sorry about this. It's my assistant that makes all the reservations, and she's been under heavy medications. She was recently diagnosed with Parvo.
Bad guy: Isn't that a dog's disease?
Bart, watching Tim sneak behind the desk: Yes, yes, it is. My assistant is a Golden Retriever. Adorable, but dim. Her whole keyboard is just three big buttons. She has very large paws. I should have fired her years ago, but she's a rescue and I just didn't have the heart.
Tim: Alright, I hope you all payed attention to my presentation. Bart, how can you tell that one is a compulsive liar?
Bart: Assuming that their pants aren't on fire.
Tim: Bart, this is serious.
Bart: I'm being completely serious.
Tim Drake
Putting the annoyed in paranoid since the day he was birthed
L I S T E N
Tim 500% calls coffee "Anti-Murder Juice" and with every cup is another dodged attempt at everyone around him ending up in some type of harm. Depends on his mood.
If he's really pissed, broken sOmetHing.
If he's a controlled level of pissed, bruises. Don't get in his way.
If he's paranoid, probably some accidental bruise infliction.
If he's annoyed, he'll kill you emotionally.
Those cups of coffee saved lives.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #36
Dick: You little shit.
Jason: They just like me better!
Dick: Right, and how much did you have to blackmail them to believe that you little gremlin.
Bruce: What's going on here?
Dick: Jason stole one of my best friends and Ex girlfriend!
Jason: I plead the fifth! Can't steal what you never had!
Dick: Why you-
Bruce: Dick, maybe consider that they do like Jason for his... personality.
Jason: Why you gotta say it like that?
Dick: This is ridiculous. *storms off all dramatically*
Bruce: Maybe for future reference, don't steal any of Dick's friends.
Jason: Fine, I won't steal any more of Dick's best friends. Yeesh.
[One week later]
Jason: *casually sitting on a seat enjoying hot cocoa*
Tim: *slams the door open* YOU BITCH!
Jason: *smirking* Hi, Timmy.
Tim: DoN'T Hi TiMmY mE, YoU tOoK BaRt FrOm Me hOw CoUlD yOU!
Bruce: Jason, this isn't what I meant when I said don't steal any more of Dick's friends.
Jason: You should have specified.
inaccurate Core Four quotes #4
Tim: It costs 400 dollars to go see a therapist but it costs 0 to tell yourself "It be like that sometimes"
Kon, softly: Wha- No. Are you okay?
Cassie: Aren't you rich?
Bart: But, what if I start taxing you every time you say that?
Tim: Do you wanna die, Bart?
Bart: This is an economy, Tim. Nothing you do is free.
Cassie: Bart, who taught you that?
Bart, shrugging: I read it in a book somewhere.
Kon: uhm...
Cassie: Tim, you're literally rich, just pay for therapy.
Tim: No.
Bart: Why not?
Tim: Cause eat the rich.
Tim: Also student debt.
Bart: You're gonna eat somebody??
Kon: Bart, remember when we talked about metaphores?
Bart: That makes a lot more sense.
Cassie: You all need therapy.
Kon: And you don't?
Cassie: I punch things. That's theraputic.
Bart: What's therapy?
Kon: ...
Cassie: ...
Tim: ...
Cassie: Tim-
Tim, dialing Black Canary's number: Already on it.
Kon: Are you telling me you've never talked about your problems to anyone?
Bart: Why would I? problems are meant to be solved by yourself as a self discovering journy and bottled up emotions.
Kon: where'd you learn that?
Bart: Steven Universe.
Cassie: Guys, can we focus please?
Tim: She's on her way.
Bart: Who's on her way?
Cassie, wrapping a blanket around Barts shoulders: Shhh, we're gonna take care of you now.
Bart: But I'm fine-
Tim: There there, speed demon. You're in good hands.
Bart: ... sniffs thank you.
Kon: nods approvingly
inaccurate Core Four quotes #3
Tim: I'm at that age where I have only one thing on my mind.
Bart: Your massive crush on Kon?
Cassie: Student Debt?
Tim: holding a birdarang Homicide.
Tim: I'm about to stab someone.
Bart: Please don't.
Cassie: slowly takes the weapon
inaccurate Core Four quotes #2
Tim: on the couch texting
Kon: floating behind the couch watching him What are you doing?
Tim: Trying to convince Jason the get me a cool gun I found.
Kon: ...
Tim: ...
Kon: You're adorable but you scare me.
Tim: I know.
inaccurate Core Four quotes #1
[in the Queer Muskateers groupchat]
Bart: sends a tiktok of a duck in a bathtub
Bart: Oh sh*t it's 3 AM
Bart: My bad
Tim: That's adorable
Bart: GO TO BED
inaccurate Batfam quotes #35
The Batboys Ranked for how rebellious they are.
Starting at number one: Timmy Drakeson.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Isn't Jason the most rebellious?" No. No he is not. Timmothy fucking Drake is a powerhouse of untapped chaos and a goldmind of comedic genius, just look at the iconic Truth or Dare pannel where he was dared to take off his mask. He did so and underneath his mask, was another mask. Secndly, he doesn't give a shrap about the "Protect ID" rule. Also, he was the one that diliberatly went out of his way to find out Batmans Identity by stalking him and taking lots of photos, sneaking out at night and throwing himself into fights even just to get information. Plus, he 100% discreetly shares Batmans weaknesses to the rest of the league because it's "unfair for him to have a strategic plan against them without them having some way to get through to him".
Number two: Terry McGinnis.
Need I say more? If there's anyone who dislikes supers more than Bats himself, it's this guy. But Duke is ok in his book.
Number Three: Dick Grayson.
He left the fam and even the mantle of Robin, which meaned so much to him, to find his own path and had diliberatly made it so that Bruce knew him leaving was all his fault. He even neglected his own "Brothers" somewhat because he didn't want to see that man up until Jason died.
Speaking of, Number four: Jason Todd.
To be Honest, not that rebellious. Sure, he's kinda edgy, but it's a good look for him. Really good. Do I simp for Todd? Hell yes, I do. The actions that lead to him going burserk honestly, not his fault. He was hyped up on the glorified pool water and felt betrayed from the very people who took him in. He understood that when one robin leaves, another steps up because Bruce has issues with the 'sad orphan eyes'. He just can't help himself. But the Laz made his views boggled so he went cray. A good kind of Cray. I don't blame him for being upset about the ordeal. I'd slap the shit outta Bruce.
Okay so hear me out... Five: Alfred.
We all love our main man, glue of the family butler. But on multiple occasions Alfie has stated he would violate the "no kill rule" to protect his charges and honestly, what a King. Pop off, Pennyworth. He loves Bruce, but he puts this grown man in time out and I don't blame him. the guy makes questionable moral decisions and that's coming from a diagnosed psychotic. We stan Alfie✨
Number Six: Damian.
We all know that this little boy got some mommy issues here and some daddy issues there, but honestly when it comes down to it, he's pretty obedient. He has the sass levels of a litterate XBox gamer and the backbone of a snake. you tell him to do something in that stern dad voice and he'll cuss you out on the way to do it. Honestly, best boy. I love him lots. And guys, stop making his character so serious. You need to check yourself on his analysis cause honEE this boy cracks jokes 24/7, likes to poke fun at people and on multiple occasions tried to make superboy, the actually serious fluff roll, swear.
Number SeVeN, Last but certainly not least: Duke Heckin' Thomas.
Our local cinnimon roll™. Not only is he badass, but he's cute and lovable too. Duke is one of those teens that don't really care if it's this way or that. He's kinda on the quiet side unless you engage in conversation with him directly and I mean, come on. Just read any comic with him in it and I guarentee you will fall in love. Just- yEs. Even though he's the only one in his family with superpowers, he stays humbled and is kinda like everyones voice of reason. Seriously, he's so underrated and I love him with all my heart.