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Tw Implied Abuse - Blog Posts
vent post bc im tired and feel alone in this
TW; dysfunctional families, implied abuse kinda I'm not really being abused
I fucking hate being "perfect." Stupid, I know, I feel like I should be grateful.
Have you heard about golden child and scapegoat dynamics in dysfunctional households? Because me and my brother are living examples of that. I'm the golden child and I loathe it.
I have it so much better then my brother, I know. But being the golden child, I am my mother's trophy, and it's exhausting. I am a doll, not a person. A bragging right. An award. I have to always do what I'm told, be smart, achieve high things, always have to look pretty, have perfect manners, tons of impossible expectations, be the perfect little girl. Or she starts yelling. I hate it so much. I'm tired, I'm really tired. I stress myself out to be enough for her. I'm the definition of a burnt out gifted kid. Yet i feel like i'm supposed to be grateful because the one above made me smart and pretty. I can only be who I really am online, with my s/o, or with my friends. And I loathe it.
And I just feel alone. I see posts about how golden children will become the abuser and it scares me. I don't feel like anyone understands that both the golden child and the scapegoat suffer. I don't want to be my mother, I swore I'd be better. I don't want to be her. I don't know how to break this cycle.
Fuck.
“Aber liebst du mich nicht?”
the little Triple Changer asked, looking up to the bearer of the death mask, only watching down to him with apathy in the moment. He didn’t hate him, he didn’t love him, he only used him. How pitiful.
cw : blood, robot gore (badly), implied abuse.
"Hey there vod'ika, it's Bite, you are with your brothers, you are safe."
Bite had spotted the glinting metal the second he'd gotten close enough to be able to clearly see his vod. The only thing keeping him upright being the anger now renewed in his veins.
"What do you need from me, vod? Because if I'm being truthful, I don't want to let you out of my sight right now."
The painkillers he'd been given were fogging up his brain, he knew he should probably get Tumbler settled before he collapsed, but if he couldn't figure out a way to ground him before then, Bite would just have to keep trying from the floor.
[DECEIVE] The sender tells a lie in order to protect the receiver || Bite was hoping for a quiet shift, though a shift as the on call medic for the senate is never quiet. As soon as Bite saw a senator getting a bit too close to his vod, he sped up to intervene. "Sir, I see that you seem to be asking this trooper for some assistance. I regret to inform you that it is unable to complete any alternative taskings at this time. I can assist you with anything you need to the best of my ability."
"Oooh? CT-3996, why didn't you tell me you were occupied? Were you hoping someone would tattle on lil ol' me?"
Tumbler would appear unaffected at first glance, settled in perfect parade rest but Bite would see how Tumbler is digging his fingers hard into his forearms, hidden behind and out of sight of the Senator, hiding his building fear and discomfort as the Senator trails her hand under where his chin would be, safe beneath his bucket.
"I was unaware, Senator Vyrim. Forgive this Trooper, it's holocomm may be inoperable and missed a situation that requires their attention."
He hopes, prays even, to whatever damned deity or greater being or even the sith-damned Force that the Senator drops the matter. Senator Vyrim was too alike Sly Moore for Tumbler to truly dismiss and disassociate from, the Rattataki Senator sharing the same pale tone and eye colour, with her tattoos and bejeweled skin the only difference from the Umbaran female.
Doodles for an au, and a wip of a potential standee
Forgive how Norman looks, this is the first time designing my version of him.
This is based off my last post.