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Latest Posts by hauntedpeanuttale - Page 2
Hc
My headcanon is that Damian and Tim fight but when someone messes with the other they will threaten/maim/stab the person.
Tim will be at a gala then someone will say a racist "joke' to Damian or being to close and Tim is in the corner getting ALL the dirt on them and sending it to the person lover.
Oh you cheated on you wife? I would be ashayem if she found out.
You are in the drug trade,sell to kids, mistreat the women and are a pedo? Well looks like the GCPD got an anonomase tip and the news somehow got a hold of ALL the things you did. So did the Red Hood funny enough.
And you are publicly BANNED from ALL Wayne Gala's and Brucie Wayne has an interview on why with the biggest newspaper company.
------------
Getting a little to comfy with Timothy Drake-Wayne even if you are more than two times his age well expect a "surprise visit" to the ER.
You backhandedly make a comment about how old he is? Well lets just say you will be a bit to scared to say a word.
Refused to leave Tim alone even after he tries to walk away from you multiple times. Well looks like some "evidence" resurfaced that you could have done some serious crimes in the past.
Tim stalked Batman and Robin he saw how good good they seemed to be together and it made him realize they he will never have a relationship with his parents because they are never really around.
You have be Acknowledge
🤣
Also •-• for Cass 🤭 yes
Epic! AU but... But it's Batman.
Batman is Ody, duh.
Either Selina or Talia is Penelope, take your pick. Personally prefer Talia, but make your cup of tea however you like it.
(Though Talia as Circe/ Calypso is also a solid win.)
Bruce's crew can be the Justice League... They all di--
The gods stay because they're canon in the DC universe.
Telemachus though? Oh... Oh... HAHAHAHA--
---
Siren: Come play with me and our daughters!
Bruce:
Bruce: My real wife knows I have only ONE DAUGHTER AND FIVE SONS--
---
Bruce, about to leave for war, holding all six of his smol children: I don't have enough hands...
---
The suitors (probably the rogues lets be fr): I heard the prince is on a diplomatic mission--
Other rogue: Which one?
First rogue: Uh... The small one.
Another suitor: There's like, two small ones.
Other rogue: And has anyone seen the princess???
Cass, who's been being trained in secret by Athena, watching them closely: •-•
---
Jason, pointing at a picture of Bruce: That b!tch is dead!
Bruce from the shadows:
Tim: No, he's not! I WENT ON A F%#&$% BOAT AND EVERYTHING JASON, DO YOU KNOW HOW SEA SICK I GOT!? I WENT AND SAW OTHER KINGS AND S%@&!!! HE'S ALIVE!!!
Dick: It's been twenty years--
Damian: Mother believes he's living.
Tim: Listen here, energy drinks haven't been invented yet and I am THIS CLOSE!
Duke: I'm with Tim. No way did he die.
Cass: He cannot die.
Jason: I'm so done with this family...
Dick: Shouldn't you be the first to believe in coming back from the dead?
Jason: Oh, I believe he's come back, but THEY'RE NOT ADMITTING HE DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!
---
Bruce, to Talia: Will you fall in love with me again?
Talia, gently cupping his cheek:
Talia: You committed murder?
Bruce, with shame: Yes...
Talia: Bed. Now.
---
ALTERNATIVELY:
Bruce, to Selina: Will you fall in love with me again?
Selina, inhaling sharply: I've been waiting TWENTY YEARS, Bruce--
---
Bruce, back from war, trying to hold all of his grown children: I don't have enough hands...
---
BONUS:
Bruce: So, what have I missed?
Dick: Oh, uh...
Jason: I died and came back to life.
Tim: I have a boyfriend. He worships Dionysus.
Damian: I befriended the deceased Kent's youngest.
Duke: I don't need to answer that question.
Cass: Received training from your old mentor.
---
I am still waiting, Hishe…
Kal: Bruce, there you are — what in the world?
Bruce: Hey Kal.
Kal: Who are all these kids?!
Bruce: My Bat Family. I’m a dad now.
Kal: Since when?!
Bruce: Since 1940. Try to keep up.
Kal: I thought it was just the one! Hi, Nightwing.
Dick: Hi Superman! Yeah, I have siblings now.
Kal: And how’s that working out?
Dick: Most of us have died at least once.
Kal: …What?
Bruce: Hey Kal, check it out. This one’s super smart, and we have matching coffee mugs.
Tim: :)
Bruce: This one…
Cass: …
Bruce: Actually, this one scares me. And this one glows in the dark! Heheh!
Duke: :D
Kal: I can see that…
Damian: Father, I’m hungry. When are we having dinner?
Bruce: How many criminals have you caught today?
Damian: *holds up three villains* Is this sufficient?
Bruce: Eh, it’s good enough. Here. *tosses him a tofu hotdog, like just the dog part* Keep working on it. Three more and you get the bun.
Kal: *horrified silence*
Dick: Hmph! When I was Robin, I could catch at least five criminals before dinner.
Tim: Oh my gosh, Dick, no one cares!
Jason: No one cares about anything in this stinkin’ family. Where were you all when I died, huh?!
Everyone: *groan*
Damian: Quit being such a drama queen, Todd! It’s not like losing your life is the end of the world!
Tim: Yeah!
Damian: You shut up. The only thing you’ve ever lost is your spleen.
Duke: And his parents.
Everyone except Damian: *parental trauma* AH!
Bruce: I told you never to mention that!
Kal: I can’t believe what I’m watching… Does Alfred know about this?!
Bruce: Yeah, totally, he’s cool with it.
Kal: *narrowing his eyes* I have a very hard time believing that.
Bruce: Well, he works for me, so shut up.
Kal: What about Catwoman?! Does Catwoman know about this?!
Bruce: *nervous* Um… well…
Damian: *suspicious* Who’s Catwoman?
Bruce: *very nervous* No one.
Dick: Oh, he is so dating Catwoman!
Tim: Why didn’t you tell us?!
Jason: What if we don’t want a step-mom, huh?!
Bruce: Woah, hold on now —
Duke: Look, you’re upsetting Batgirl!
Cass: …
Bruce: Alright, that’s enough! We’re not gonna talk about this anymore! Because —
Everyone: *annoyed* — you’re Batman!
Bruce: No! Because I said so! …And also, yes, because I’m Batman! Cause Batman says so!
Kal: *smirking* More like because you’re Bat-Dad.
Bruce: >:(
Kal: And hey, where’s Barbara? I thought she was Batgirl?
Bruce: *nervous* She was…
Kal: …Bruce, what did you do?
Dick: Oh, don’t worry, Superman, Barbara’s fine.
Kal: Oh, thank goodness.
Jason: She’s just paralysed from the waste down.
Kal: Bruce!
Bruce: It wasn’t my fault! She’s not even technicially my kid!
Kal: Bruce…
Bruce: Oh, don’t you “Bruce” me. I’ll “Bruce” you… “Bruce” you in the face.
Kal: Okay, that’s it, you are not allowed to find any more sidekicks starting right now!
Bruce: *holding up Harper* What about this one?
Kal: No!
Bruce: *holding up Spoiler* This one still has a parent — I can just be a mentor.
Kal: No!
Bruce: Well, gee, Kal, what am I supposed to do with all the orphans in Gotham, then, huh?!
Kal: Do you hear yourself right now?
Bruce: I have a system, Kal!
Kal: That’s it! There’s only way to solve this!
*Superman grabs Batman, and they fly off*
*Batman then appears on the couch in Therapist Spider-Man’s office from Across the Spider-Verse*
Therapist Spider-Man: Would you say you carry any trauma from your childhood?
Batman: *leans over* Do I have a story for you.
URGENT EVICTION HELP
Hi everyone! I’m really really panicking right now. The court date for me to get evicted is on the 20th of February. I don’t have anywhere to go if I get evicted. I don’t even have a vehicle and I I would have to surrender my ESA, my cat Mittens. I’d be on the streets and it’s winter in Michigan.
I am disabled and I have no money right now. I can barely afford food and I really need help. I don’t know what else to do and I’m scared. Please, I really need help.
Kofi | Cshapp | Vnmo | PyPal
To: My brother
From: @hauntedpeanuttalele on Tumblr
I finally found it!
All Video's belong to @blueplanettrash on Tumblr and Youtube
Warnings:
Death
Flashing lights
Backround Information:
Thomas and Martha Wayne were murdered June 29th; their son Bruce, 8 years old at the time was never seen again. This was only the beginning of the strange disappearances of orphaned children in Gotham city.
More info (I suggest reading it):
The Video:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Come Little Children Version B: (this one is darker)
Bonus Fun video:
No, The small demon and the big boy
or The small demon child and the big demon brother
The small boy and the big demon. (Jason Todd - Damian Wayne)
More Espresso Good dad Bruce Wayne less depresso
Dc: Fans made wayne family adventure comics surpass regular dc comics
I love the Batman and Justice League dinamic
Like Batman scares everyone and most of the people at Justice League think he's an asshole. But also see him as a angry cat that will scrach but will be docile if you hold him close and friend in genural and he's will deny they are friends but keeps saving those idiots! He's emo kid that has a bunch of bubbly friends or like a tired babysitter with 50 small children.
The best part? He has so many kids that sometimes instead of feeling scared of Batman the Justice League will feel ashamend because he gives of "tired mom" energy and he probable has said "I am not angry just dissaponted" line so many times.
I just like the idea that in the same universe they are Besties
I want Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne a casual besties that at galas will flirt with each other (platonicly) while they wife's or husbands (Depending on the ships) are a few feet away talking to each other because it would confuse so many people. Like are you cheating orrrr?
(Because everyone has fake flited with their Bestie)
The Billionare, playboy, fathers of kids:
Tiny Stank and Brucie Wayne
Question: What is you favriote ships for Bruce and favorie ships for Tony? (Crossover included but say from where they are from) (poly ships too)
Damian will never admit this but when ever Bruce gets injured he sneaks into his room and cuddles him. Bruce knows oviosly but he knows that Damian needs to be reashured that Bruce is ok so he never mentions it. Like how he never mentions if any of his other kids join or if Dick and Jason hang around the manor more. He does not agnoleage that Cass follows him around. Or Steph needing to "find something" she convenianty forgot in the room Bruce's in and that ever time she asks if he needs something or if he feels pain anywhere. Or when Duke goes to "study" in the room Bruce's in because it "has good lighting' or "is his faveriote spot to study in."
Because if there is one thing that they got from Bruce it is their emotional constipation when it comes to talking about their feeling and worries.
I would like to add on to this by saying that after they grew up sometimes when they was to feel safe or when something happends on instinced they hide in the cape.
I just adore the idea of Batman completely concealing his kids under his cape. Like I literally love it sm, so here’s how I think a few of them would have done it :)
Dick: hugging Bruce’s leg(when he was tinier) or his waist. I also like to think that outside of combat he would have stood on Bruce’s feet as he walked, yk?
Jason: holding onto Bruce’s arm usually, occasionally hugging him like Dick if he felt threatened. I like to think that when they were idle late at night he would fall asleep while hugging Bruce’s arm
Tim: Tim would be a bit nervous at first, but eventually ended up just huddling himself close to Bruce. He would often be peeking out from under the cape too
Damian: It took him a few months to agree to being protected in the cape, but one late night after detaining a rough arkham escapee he’s just so tired, and he’s nodding off and Bruce just gently lifts him up and holds him, and it’s so surprisingly warm and comfortable that he can’t help falling asleep. After that he went under the cape more often, huddling close like Tim used to(haha), and occasionally allowing himself to be held in his father’s arms.
Take this song and be sad with me
Ok that is Adorable and FINALY a reason that Dick mom called him Robin
I wonder how the batkids would react to the reasoning behind the nickname?
Hello tumblr here’s a comic panel redraw for u bc I love theym <3
Original:
THIS IS FANFIC MOTOVATION GALOR
I accept thanks via fanfic links. Thank you
If rebloged and some one has a fanfic please put it under my post Thank you
What if Bruce went on the whole training thing but decided that he would not be Batman maybe because he adopted Dick or thought it would be a bad idea and then got all his kids. But they do not know that their dad has this kind of training and they become vigilanties on their own. He could know or he could not know. Maybe he finds out after and decided not to tell them he knows. Maybe he do or does not know and sometimes goes out as Batman on rare occasions and he is more of a myth then anything. Maybe he becomes the Mayor stopping the crimes and criminals while also using Wayne interprises to fund building projects and funding the prison so criminals STAY in prison.
Picture this Tim finds out Dick is Robin like originally and thinks that Bruce is Batman. But Tim confronts Dick and Dick tells him that Bruce is not Batman and that he is only a civilian and has no idea of what Dick is doing.
Damian coming on to the scene and the Batkids find out about Bruce's training from Talia telling them why/how Damian was made because that is their loving father who would not hurt a fly and is scared of bats. What do you mean he's a brilliant detective of course he's smart but he's not a detective and he certainly has not been trained?
Or maybe Damian is confused but after seeing how Bruce treats his adopted "siblings" maybe mother ment he has a strong heart and he desideds that he will protect his father with his life because he has too soft of a heart to be able to survive Gotham of all places..right?
Jason coming back to life but instead of hating Bruce he misses him because it's his dad. He could not do anything he is a civilian he was in Gotham sleeping when Jason died and did not know what happand till later.
He is their dad that while he is a bit emotionally constipated sure.But was always there for them he read them Bedtime Stories, he held them when they had nightmares,never pushing them to tell him what they were about, he was always there for their compatitions, games, gymnastic lessons,art shows,writing,school plays and the first to be at the photograghy award ceramonys, always apologizing if he missed any or even if he was a little late.
This is a really good video for other ideas:
Emergency Gotham News
The Wayne charity gala in honor of Jason Todd's return after being in witness protection was attacked by the Joker and the youngest Wayne,Damian Wayne, is being held at gun point.
The news lady puts a hand over her ear
We just got confirmation that one of our Videographer where able to patch us through.
(A video pops up zooming in it shows the fallowing):
The Joker,on the left, with the gun pointed at Damian and on the right you can clearly see Bruce Wayne. With each of the other official and non-official Wayne kids being held by two henchmen each.
Joker:--Oh look where is your knight in shining armor now?
Bruce *yelling*: What do you want? (As the Joker puts the gun closer to Damian's head)
Joker: I herd from a little birdy that you and my batsy where together. Now I can't have that now can I? So I decided that for every five minutes it takes for Batsy to show I will kill one of your kides and the Grand Finale? Yo-
He was cut of by a sharp punch to the face by non other then Bruce Wayne,Gotham's Prince.
Bruce Wayne: Not my kids you, Bitch
It was silent for a second before all hell went lose
All the Wayne kids suddenly started to attack the henchman that where holding them, while Bruce looked Damian over and then pulled him behind him.
When everything cleared on the screen you could clearly see and hear Bruce fussing over his children and then he breathed a sign of relief. It the now totaly silent room the only thing that was herd was,"Thank God I listened to Alfred when he said to take those Taekwondo lessons when I was in Korea last month."
Live video Ended
"An elevator can raise a child" Dam it hurts because it true
(For contects I DID NOT SEE ALL OF DRAGON BALL Z ((or any really))
I am bored so what are some headcanons you have about the Batfamily?
My laugh was like a Hiena
This link goes to chapter 5 but there is more:
Be warned I DID NOT READ AHEAD SO PLEASE READ THE TAGS
Fic Idea or Fic Needed
So you know how Zeus turned into the husdand of a woman (I think it was heraculs ) and pretended to be him and slept with her and they had a child and the kid looks like the husdand.
What is Posidon pretended to be Bruce Wayne and I do not know but now Percy has three parents Posidon Sally and Bruce add Posdion and Neptune never only being one person at a time and he has four parents and SOO many questions. (So does Bruce.)
Tell me WHY I saw these two Meme on My for you page one right after the other:
Sally and Posidon:
Percy and Annabeth:
Finally SOMEONE SAID IT
We don't talk enough about how superbat is that one gay couple that literally looks like twins
When they go public all the media headlines are like "The Only Man That Can Tame Bruce Wayne Is..... Bruce Wayne" and "Bruce Wayne Dates winner of his own look-alike competition". Bruce proudly embraces this, going on interviews and joking about the importance of "self-love", saying he's not surprised that him and his fans have the same type. This becomes a meme about how everyone Bruce surrounds himself with looks like him, from his kids to his partners.
At the Planet though, this brings back the rumors that Clark runs away every time superman shows up because they dated and had a messy break up. Everyone pities Clark since he's clearly not over his ex. Why else would he date the most well-known superman lookalike. The office held a betting pool on how long the Brucie rebound will last but it's been much longer than they expected. Lois keeps spreading more Clark/Supes rumors because she finds it hilarious and makes alot of money off the betting pool. She buys Clark's coffee every morning to make up for it.
This only gets worse as they keep dating and start sharing clothes. Damian once mistook the back of Clark, who was getting ready for a gala, for Bruce. He remembers this as one of his greatest failures.
It funny do not make this a debate for ANYTHING
I do not read alot (or any) of Omegaverse (because it makes no sence to me) but...
What is Bruce was strong like this and then his kids show up and it is like his face is GLOWING with happyness.
Bruce being an unapprochable Omega
His Kids come through the doors and he looks like night and day with how happy he looks it gives people wiplash with how fast the change happend.
*Next part is PLATONIC no batsecit here*
It does not matter if they are young but I also find it funny if it was Jason the walking brickwall that came up to Bruce and is like "Mama or Papa or Dad Mother" whatever you think it should be and kisses Bruce on the forhead and Bruce is beaming because "Oh his baby is here."
(I understand some people it is werid for kids to kiss their parents on the forhead or cheak but it is not for me in my culture)
Omegaverse AU. The annual Gotham Matchmaking Event was in full swing. Bruce Wayne, towering over the alphas and omegas around him, moved through the room with an unapproachable aura. The whispers followed him, just like they always did.
"Wayne’s so assertive. Doesn’t act like an omega at all," someone muttered.
"He should stop pretending to be above his station," another added with a laugh.
Bruce pretended not to hear them, his jaw tightening as he positioned himself near the door for an easy exit. If not for the fact that these matchmaking events were mandatory for all unmated omegas of age, he would have refused the invitation outright.
A new arrival caught his attention. The man’s tanned skin and wavy hair stood out, he didn’t seem to be from Gotham. His name tag read "Kal."
Bruce watched the foreigner as he mingled with the other guests. Kal’s alpha status was obvious, but unlike most alphas, he radiated warmth and charm. People naturally gravitated toward him, drawn to his approachable demeanor. The double standards grated on Bruce more than he cared to admit.
Until Kal’s gaze found his.
The alpha froze, wide-eyed as he stared at Bruce. Bruce glared at the shorter man. It usually kept alphas at bay.
No such luck. Kal approached him anyway.
"Have you heard of Kryptonian queens?" Kal asked.
Bruce blinked, caught off guard by the question. "What?"
"In Kryptonian legends, queens were the biggest, strongest omegas in the colony. They either earned the title by winning dominance battles or left to establish new colonies on distant outposts," Kal said, his voice filled with awe. "You’re like a legend brought to life."
Bruce’s guarded expression faltered. Despite the absurdity of the alpha’s words, there was something in his tone—genuine respect—that made him pause.
And Bruce found himself listening.
This was a thing from youtube on D&D with this and a all seeing demon(?)
Jason: Hey so as my stalker exactly how much of my life have you seen? Tim, reviewing his most recent pictures: Are you asking because last week you tripped on your own shoelaces in the hallway and fell on your face? Jason: oh..so you saw that... Tim, trying to be nice: ....no