Would Reblog A Thousand Times If I Could

Part of the harm of invisibility for transmen is being bombarded with a million "emergency HRT" resources by a hundred different well meaning groups and absolutely zero of them mention testosterone. If they do it's basically a footnote. Testosterone is necessary HRT medication too, believe it or not. It is harder to synthesize and it is federally restricted and I think that's EVEN MORE REASON TO RESEARCH AND LINK EMERGENCY TESTOSTERONE HRT‼️

your mental health will take everything from your life until it eventually takes your life

Dear diary...

All of this feels so pointless...

I feel like I'm wasting my time here.

There's no point in me being here if all I ever do is suffer...

This 100%. Why is it always "awwww but I'd miss you so much" and never like.... something that would actually matter to me, or would benefit me. Even just a "I'm sorry you'll never get to live life to the fullest" or "I'm sorry for everything you got robbed off" because at least that's about ME, the actual person, and not about the relation I have towards other people

It's cruel that others expect me to keep living a life of suffering just because it'd make them feel bad if I died

And people forget how recent it was that it became socially acceptable for women to be not traditionally feminine. I'd argue it has only been in the past 10 years or so(and that's stretching it majorly), it has become socially acceptable for women to be traditionally masculine, or for girls to act "boy-ish". It really wasn't that long ago

"No one cares if women / transmascs / afab people wear pants and boy clothes!!!"

On my knees begging you to talk to people who grew up in religious fundamentalist communities and high control groups / cults

I'm going to SCREAM why are trans people so mean towards other trans people? I could genuinely pour my heart out about how the trans healthcare system quite literally traumatized me and I'll get a bunch of people like "errrrrr that didn't happen me, you're probably just making it worse in your head, just answer honest to the doctors and everything will go to plan" WHAT

"stop being upset about missing out on a childhood you can live your entire adult life as the gender you want" 1. assuming I'll live "an entire adult life" with this mental state

2. What if I actually want to be an autistic little boy with destructive tendencies but his mom actually still loves him

Please stop trigger tagging with #epilepsy tw/cw/warning/etc.

I need every single person to understand how horrible tumblr’s tagging system is

I go into the tag for epilepsy and its all flashing lights. We can’t use our own tag because people without epilepsy fill it up with improper warnings.

Use ‘flashing’ in place of ‘epilepsy’ in your tags. You aren’t warning people of epileptics, you’re warning us of flashing lights. Please please tag properly. Epileptics say this endlessly and constantly and it’s ignored. You are risking lives by doing this.

Here’s proof of what I mean:

THIS POST IS 100% OKAY TO REBLOG, I ENCOURAGE PEOPLE WITHOUT EPILEPSY TO ESPECIALLY DO SO!

I think I genuinely want to end it all. Nobody cares about me, not in a way that matters anyway. I constantly get discriminated against simply because I'm a foreigner, and they make it incredibly difficult to navigate all the legal stuff in my new country. And even if I do have everything in order, sometimes I still get denied simply because "fuck you, that's why".

I'm also struggling with severe mental illness and trauma, which at this point I only expect to be neglected even further. Not to mention dysphoria and being trans amplifying the above tenfold.

I just don't see the point. I want to withdraw from society. It doesn't deserve me.