Latest Posts by r3v3rie - Page 3

i think my tumblr is scientific evidence for bpd mood swings

i don’t know who i am. i feel like i have no personality of my own i just mirror others. i want to be me, but i don’t know who she is. how do i find her?? why can’t i just know who i am????

WOMP WOMP

(i took this pic to post and the app asked if i wanted to send my streak to someone LMFAO)

I have found a writing that i truly think all hellenic polytheists should be required to read.

Lowell Sun

Thinking outside Pandora’s box

Many of us have heard references to the Greek mythological tale of Pandora’s box. Without often knowing its origins, many have used the expr

I was so moved that I had to write a thank you email immediately after I had processed everything.

These hardships of life were a gift, Lord Zeus is not a vengeful God who hates humanity (Though i’m sure those Zeus devotees out there already knew this)

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If you want to read my takeaways please do read below the email I sent. This piece was truly inspiring and insightful.

IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING THIS GOD FUCKING DAMNED DISORDER I WANT TO RIP ALL OF MY HAIR OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY G O D

the Gods answer things in the most wild ways. i made a new (old) friend!! here i was praying and wishing for michael to come back, but the universe said “nope! have this instead!!” and yk what? maybe this is better. turns out i can’t ever fully leave roc behind, and maybe i didn’t want to :’)

sachiel i won’t chase you, i don’t want to scare you off. just know that i miss you, and i don’t know how to show it. i don’t want to come on to strong, to tell you i still love you just as much as that summer day where we became real soulmates.

i miss you. just know i think of you often, and fondly.

missing you michael, i want to reach out to tell you i still cared so deeply for you. but i can’t, you don’t want that. so i won’t. just know that i miss you and that i’m sorry my emotions run so deep.

i wish i wasn’t like this. i’m sorry that i cant stop missing you. i wish you gave me a chance to make things right.

Dionysus is so good to me, like what were the chances my sister gave me a vape she didn’t like the flavor of

‘everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it’ is cute and all til u have bpd and go genuinely psychotic when someone abandons you

i’ve been doing this positivity crystal spread under my pillow for the past two days and i’ve been having SUCH better mornings!! here’s the info for anyone who wants it!

citrine

amethyst

sunstone

rose quartz

carnelian

i just put them in a little bag in my pillowcase and sleep near them all night. in the morning i put them on a selenite charging plate (you could also use a window sill but i prefer selenite) and let them stay there until i’m ready to put them back under my pillow to go to sleep!!

it’s like a race to see if my heart rate or the carcinogens will kill me first lollll

I just feel so ugly inside and out.

(1.30.23) - head hanging out the second story window, i let the strawberry smoke fill my lungs. i glance at my watch. 120. it hasn’t lowered all day. i tell myself that it’s just a bad day, that i’ll quit again tomorrow.

the pennsylvanian winter chill hits my face when the breeze blows. there’s a bird calling that i recognize but can’t quite place right now. texts from my only two friends lay unanswered because i don’t know how to tell them what i’m feeling.

i silently wonder if the devil ever feels cursed. if he too sometimes didn’t have the strength in him, because being rotten at the core is truly exhausting.

an ache of pain disturbs the thought. the all consuming anxiety follows. this semester feels as if it will kill me. learning to walk again while desperately trying to memorize an entire taxonomic language is just too much.

i try to glamorize it, to revel in the tasks the women in my books love. to tell myself that this is the life of a girl in the scribe quadrant, that dragons are real and true love exists.

my cat jumps up, she sticks her head out too and sniffs the breeze. she is the only solace my soul finds these days, her and the fluffy stories i fill my head with when i try to outrun these thoughts. the ones where i have a friend group who loves me like family and a man who sees the stars in my eyes. the stories where i am not seen as a monster, but as gentle and kind.

i want to die, to be quite honest. i am in the wrong reality. there is no found family waiting for me, nor a man to write me letters assuring me that i am nothing but angelic golden light. there is just fatherly pain and the weight of the world on my shoulders.

writer in the dark & liability -lorde

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i literally go to sleep and have dreams that you come back to me. i know you aren’t even thinking of me. i cant figure out which part hurts worse.

missing you michael, and the girl i think i’ll call sachiel.. hoping that a code name that is two layers deep won’t tip anyone off loll

hey uh reblog if you’re a vent/mental health blog? I want more people to follow.

turning back into that 14 year old girl who is terrified of the dark was not on my 2024 bingo card lmfao, like wtf i as a grown adult cannot walk from room to room freely in my house anymore without racing on my crutches to find the light switch.

analog horror is absolutely no match for my own brain because why are the hallucinations and delusions back???

the only way out will always be through.

the stress hallucinations are back along with the most violent escapism known to man and me and my dad got into it the other day. you never really get past age 14 huh?

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

lmfao

more blackout poetry

Lady Euphrosyne Devotional Post

Charity Euphrosyne

embodiment of joy,

true divine happiness,

radiant positivity,

You- who is the one i desperately aspire to be

beauty driven of only good will,

the eternal light.

Lady Euphrosyne I devote myself wholeheartedly to working towards my goal of positivity. May every workbook entry i have written/will write, every affirmation i read, and every kind act i commit be a testament to my will. I ask that you bless me on this journey and may guide me to become more like yourself in any way possible.

Blessed be, Kind Lady Euphrosyne.

every time i make a mistake im like theyre going to put me down like a sick dog

daniel once again reminds me that i am evil, literally his exact words tonight. what he doesn't know is that my buba is teaching me the power of belief and that i will brute force this into existence that i am good and kind and sweet and nice.

she and her books also say i need to forgive him, i don't know if i ever can.

my self discovery journey is off to like the most insane start?? the universe has really decided that now is the time i finally get my shit together and be the person i only wished i could be. the coincidences are starting to feel more like fate. i want to talk to the Gods quickly on the subject and make sure that i am on my highest path,, but i think i’m really doing it guys. i just read the most empowering book about the universe and power of belief. i have the will, i just have to start to believe.

like the random compliments i’ve been giving are coming easier, enjoying my days and finding the good is still tough but i’m getting there, the last step is realizing that i am not what my father thinks i am- which will hopefully come faster than i could ever expect.

vent post about dying young and being a bad dog: an unofficial writing

i am so different, i wish the people of my past could see that and give me just a couple more chances to change. all i want is a friend before i die of some stupid heart defect. for now, literature is my safe space once again,