Latest Posts by trash-is-not-on-fire - Page 3

THEY ARE COOKING?? THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!!

we are chained together

live from the tour bus

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

dan was so down bad for phil in the emo librarian outfit that he didn't even react to him going "my name is [Dan]" i fear we've lost him

the decline of malls is like deforestation for emo kids

"im a youtuber i have a channel called danandphilgames" fuck amazingphil, i guess

when the fandom in question only has two people

me too dan

The crazy thing about The Ranch Monologue™️ is that Dan is using them to explain how perfect ranch is. He tastes ranch and thinks “this is such a perfect combination of flavors” and in his brain the best way to explain to Phil how much he likes it is to say “it’s just like US”. He’s not using ranch as a metaphor for his relationship he’s using the relationship to explain how perfect the ranch is.

In Dan and Phil we say:

the fact that phil thought dan doing a lil twerky dance because he was excited to see what phil was showing him was normal really says something about him and their relationship

dan literally FAINTING AND PUNCHING A LAMP OFF THE BEDSIDE TABLE then being like PHIL WHY DIDN'T YOU CATCH ME and phil going i thought you were twerking! is THE most dan and phil thing i've ever heard in my entire life

me when the night changes: 😮

i’m just tryna have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

Phil saying that he didn’t want to stop being “Dan and Phil.” He was the one who convinced Dan to come back. We always talk about how fond Dan is of Phil and visibly and tangibly and deeply he loves Phil. But like. We cannot forget that Dan is the love of Phil’s life. Dan is his safe place. His constant. He wants him to be around. Of course he wants Dan to be independent and he supports him. But like. Phil loves him so much that he wanted to keep his name tied to Dans. And I’m really normal about that

if i can speak

dan: yum yum i love ranch

dan: phil i was put on this earth by god for the sole purpose of finding you

if that man wanted to put a bracelet on phil you know damn well dan would be out there fainting in the pool pretending to drown

while phil thinks ‘isn’t that sweet. dans doing some celebratory underwater twerking for me’

phil not getting up ONCE and dan getting up for everything . perfect. exactly how the princess should be treated

i need to study their dna there's no way these are the same people

DAN AND PHIL MASSIVE PIZZA MUKBANG 2

worrying is like worshipping the problem

we are coming to heal your inner child and take back what the internet took from us

DAN AND PHIL TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR TICKETS ON SALE NOW! danandphiltour.com

HELLO?!

DAN AND PHIL - THE TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR

TICKETS ON SALE FRIDAY 12PM LOCAL TIME danandphiltour.com

we are sorry