Flash - Blog Posts

Lisa : you know, Lenny, a lot of the tension between you and Flash could be solved if you just took him out.

Snart : you mean like a date or murder?

Lisa : ...

Snart : because I'm prepared to do both.

Caitlin : Yesterday, I overheard Barry saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Cisco replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Jason and Bart tropes #4

Jason obviously has things he's ashamed of, even though he's this ass-kicking God we all love, he still has his demons. One of those demons being certain scars. Ever Hero, vigilante, and Villain has those certain scars that they don't want people to see or know of. For Jason, it's the ones from the Laz pit and when he died. He hates them, wishes he could get rid of them, but they're a part of him.

Bart has scars of his own, one's he wishes to never show. That being, all of them. He shows people his outter shell, this fun, party loving speedster that's always quick with a joke. In reality he hides most his pain behind that mask because no one expects the outgoing one to be the most damaged, but that's just what he is. Damaged. So damaged he fears peoples reactions to his real self and became his character "impulse". The scars from the future, from being enslaved and tortured, from fighting back and losing so much. He hardly looks at himself because of them. He may be quick to heal but the scars run deep.

Jason and Bart find a mutual understanding in not wanting to share the scars stories and be complacent in showing them, but not showing off. It's better that way.

Jason and Bart tropes #3

Jason doesn't like metas or people with abnormal capabilities too much because they rely on their powers, but Bart doesn't.

Bart grew up in virtual reality, being constantly experimented on and watched by scientist assholes without his knowledge. He also grew up in the Apocalypse, or what was considered one. So he knew what it was like to be completely powerless and live normal, or as normal as you can get in a back-water, end of the world, totalitarianism planet. Even when he was rescued by his mom and Iris plus sent back in time to keep him safe, he was trained by all of LAPD and Tim Drake in combat, on the chance that he lost his speed again. It came in handy later on when he did lose his speed in the battle against the Rouges and his clone, Thad. And then his mentor Max Mercury taught him to slow things down and live in the present, that not everything is about speed and how fast you can do something, but how well you do it. So as you can assume, Bart is always alert. Probably why he's so jumpy. He never knows what to expect and thus he expects everything, cause with his powers he's able to predict every possible outcome in a situation. He also uses it to his advantage and He's memorized the complete human nervous system (talk about Crash).

That's probably why Jason likes him so much; even with his powers, Bart expects to be jumped any moment. (Likes in headcanon, of course, but c'mon you can't tell me he wouldn't)

Gender didn’t exist in the future: Bart is Pansexual and likes to wear skirts (maybe gender-fluid)

you can't change my mind

Oliver : I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Barry, Kara, and Sara : ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!!!

Okay but hear me out

Bart has perfect photographic memory, which means he remembers everything he hears, sees or reads exactly how it was. So, technically, if he were to read language translation books, he'd be able to understand every language. Pronounciation would be hard for him sure, but he could understand and write in any language if he had enough focus to read the scripts. I'm not crazy, he totally could be a human translator for everything. He'd be every language teachers favourite.

Brief explanation of all of Bart’s deaths.

Hi, back by unpopular demand, ME! (Updated this cause Bart has died YET AGAIN in the timespan of this post and now, also I forgot one. So yes, Bart has died a total of five times now.💀) this is Jaybart rantpost part 2.

So, as I said in the last post, I'd explain Bart's three (Now 5) separate deaths. So without further ado, lets get on with angst!

Smallsville sacrifice: Bart actually ends up sacrificing himself for Clark Kents sake and many more in Smallsville, Giving up his speed to the Black Flash or the "grim reaper" of the speedforce. Nasty lookin guy, all black and withered. Hard to miss. He gives up his speed since his is the only one that's "pure" as Reaper Flash says, afterwards being struck by a Zeus load of lightning. After the light died down, the only thing left was a lightning bolt insignia on the ground where Bart stood. His last words were "smell ya later." (Have I mentioned how much I love him?)

Thad Thawne and the rouges: (I love Thad and I need you to understand that he's not entirely at fault for his actions, no thad hate under this roof.) Anyway, Thad was able to convince, with much bargaining, the Rouges to aid his defeating of his Twin Clone, Bart. Bart looked much older, and had taken the name Flash after everyone else "mysteriously" lost their speed and Wally was gone. So a plan was made, a fight took place, Bart was defeated and later on the Rouges weren't too thrilled about it. Just read the comic, I promise it's great. Right after he died Wally returned as Flash and soon Bart was ressurected but as a teenager again?? And then he took back his title Impulse. Don't ask.

Killed Clone: Okay, so this one is a little bit different from those cause he does technically die, but it's not by normal conventional means so let me explain. Bart has many powers that are unique from the speedforce like his speed sympathy; the ability to feel when another person in the speedforce is in trouble. One of these powers is his speed scouts. He can draw energy from the speedforce to duplicate himself with multiple carbon copies, like Naruto. Anyway, all of them are connected. If one thinks, that thought is communicated between all of them. If one is hurt, they all feel it. So after he was using them in a battle, one of his speed scouts was killed, right in front of him. He was able to feel them die, and feel himself dying even though his pain was falsified and the shock sent him into a coma that later on killed him. After he was ressurected... again, he swore to never use his speed scouts again.

White Flash: In an end-of-the-world scenerio, Barry Allen has to face the speedforce and try to speed his way to save the planet, but he wasn't fast enough. (A common reoccurring theme in Flash comics) so mama speed sent Bart as her massiah to deliver them victory. I'll share with you a quote cause it's better at explaining this than I am: “Grandpa! No time to explain. I can feel it... feel the speedforce all around me... feel it in me... now that I’ve caught up with you, I can Help. This is what I’m meant to do— it’s not enough, what you’re doing now. You’re going to need every bit you can get... every bit that’s in this weird reality... the speedforce sent me around the universe... I collected it for you... took it from Max, Wally, Jay, everyone..! I’ve come through time and space and this universe to become the speedforce’s ultamate messenger, so I could tell you this: run, grandpa. Run and save our world.” Basically he gives up all his speed and the others, sacrificing himself (AGAIN) for the greater good so that Barry might have a chance in saving their time. He turns into the White Flash right before his molecules were torn apart and he ceases, now one with the speedforce.

(SPOILERS FOR FLASH: FUTURE STATE): Bart, Max, and Barry were all looking for ways to bring Wally back from being basically possessed by Famine- yes, the one from the four horsemen. He was apparently inprisoned in the speedforce and took away all the others speed. They found a way to save him, but it was guarded by villains. Bart uses the prisma goggles and gadgets he stole. He rode into the room on a rainbow- try telling me that's not gay. you Can't. Anywho, he stole it from the calculator man, who then shot him with a laser seconds before Max electricuted him. Sad day to have to explain such a badass character was killed by someone named calculator man. At least it wasn't calendar man...

Iris : Once someone interviewed Flash and asked him what he thought of the police. Flash replied that they're was all nice, except for the forensic pathologist Barry Allen who was according to him, and I quote, a jerk with a crappy name.

"Seriously, whose name is Bartholomew? This guy is a nuisance to humanity" Flash's words, not mine.

Iris : Later I found Barry watching the interview and insulting the Flash. And i quote : "Get yourself a real job before you insult me, you bitch! "

I already knew that Barry had mental problems, but from that day on I decided to drag him to therapy.

Crossover? Flashfam and Batfam

#Bruce meets his match

Bruce: *staring at Bart from across the interrogation table*

Bart: *Kicking his legs and staring back*

Bruce: So, Impulse-

Bart: No.

Bruce: No?

Bart: You were gonna question me. I say no.

Bruce: You didn't hear the question.

Bart: Okay, go ahead.

Bruce: So-

Bart: No.

Bruce: *disgruntled bat noises*

Bart: *staring with a blank expression*

~ two hours later ~

Bruce: *dangling Bart upside down from the ceiling*

Bart: And then I was all like, "No way, you can't do that. That's a no-no, even in my book", and then Tim was like "I-"

Bruce: Enough, please stop. Stop talking. Leave. I'm done.

Bart: *phases out of the ties* thanks. *walks out*

Diana, on the other side of the one sided glass: I've never seen him give up so quickly.

Hal: Kids' got spunk.

Clark: We should go before Bruce tries to vent on one of us.

*talking on the phone*

Oliver : Remember how I said that Barry and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?

Dig : Yeah…

Oliver : Well, we’re in jail.

Dig : *hangs up*

Dig want to die

Sometime they take Kara

inaccurate Flashfam quotes #6

Bart: HAHAHAHAHHAAH YOU ALL SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE BUT LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!!!

Max: What's the kid on about?

Wally: Bart made a theory that he could use Chicken Whizzees as his lightning rod.

Barry: sighs heavily and it worked...

Bart: On a table laughing hysterically with a bag of Chicken whizzees in each hand THE FUTURE IS FOOD!!!

Barry doing flash business : I need someone to take me to art museums and make out with me.

Leonard doing captain cold business : But they said not to touch the masterpieces?

Barry : Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall...

Mick to the rogue and the team flash : This is Mick. Those idiots are flirting again.

Cisco : Every fucking time!

inaccurate Flashfam quotes #5

the adventures of people figuring out that all the Flash's are kleptos

Hal: Barry, we need to have a talk.

Barry: What about?

Hal: It's about the blankets.

Barry: The... blankets?

Hal: Every time you come over for a movie night and use one of my blankets, they always disapear.

Barry: ...

Hal: ...?

Barry: sniffs they're just so comfy...

...

Dick: knocks on Wally's door excessivly

Wally: opens it Hey Dickie. What's up?

Dick: Where are they?

Wally: I'm not kidding this time when I say I have no idea what you're talking about.

Dick: The hats, Wally. My hats. Where are they?

Wally: ... sighs and points to a drawr

...

Tim: ...

Bart: ...

Tim, staring at his sweatshirt: Bart-

Bart: OwO??

Tim: literally cannot say no ... You know what? Keep it.

Inaccurate FlashFam quotes #4

Bart in Reach: What if I became a superhero?

Bart: Jk jk...

Bart, also leading a revolt against the function: Unless?

Inaccurate Flashfam quotes #3

Bart: speeding into the house and locking himself in his room

Wally, utterly confused: knocks Bart, you okay in there?

Bart, nervously: Hahaha, yea! Totally! Whywouldn'tIbe?

Loud bang from inside

Bart: screeching

Tim, crawling from the air duct: WHERE'S MY CHICKEN NUGETS?!

Inaccurate Flashfam quotes #2

Bart Allen: Okay, this is it. I'm battling a Evil supervillain trying to kill me and probably my worstest enemy.

Bart's mind: Make casual conversation and playful banter the entire time.

Bart:

Bart: Let's do it.

A birdflash Short story

Based off of the story line from 'Titans: Rebirth' Vol. 1

My name is Wally West and I'm the fastest man alive. I've been away for a while. My last fight made me get lost in a space outside of time. The speed force. I was so alone and afraid. But there was always something to bring me back. My lightning rod. I don't know if I'm ready to face them again. Or if they're ready to see me alive.

"Who are you?" An escrima stick was held to my head as I crouched on the floor of my old apartment, looking at a photo I always kept with me. There's one thing I forgot to mention. No one remembers me.

"Dick?" I stand and turn, face-to-face with the elusive Hero, Nightwing.

"How do you know that name?" His face contorts into a scowl. Ah, the infamous batglare. "I don't know who you are--" he flipped over the desk that separated us. "How did you get in here?"

"Dick! Please, stop! I'm not here to hurt--" my sentence was cut short by him going to tackle me but a jolt of electricity shooting back and shocking him. I stare at my fingertips in disbelief. okay, weird.

"Did you just tase me?" he grips his palm with a wince. "What the hell, Wally? What was--" He stops, eyes widening. "Wally?" He asked himself. He know me. He knows me! "I don't understand." He mutters as I rush to his side to help him up. "I know you. I know your name..." he continued to talk to himself under his breath. "...but I don't know how."

"I'll explain soon, I promise." I whisper in his ear once pulled in a hug. It was short lived once I pushed him away and resumed my hero posture. "But first... Where are the Titans?"

"Right here." A voice said, from neither me or Dick.

I turn to see my old team surrounding us, weapons all ready. I see Dick's eyes widen from behind the mask from the corner of my vision.

"AH. Hi, guys." Okay Wally. Work fast. They don't remember either. How'd I do that zappy thing.

"Man, did you pick the wrong apartment to bust into, pal." Roy quipped, aiming his quiver straight at me.

They came at me from all side, Roy first. His rock steady determination, though he wasn't expecting me to be fast enough to dodge his arrow.

Then Donna and her protective fury when anyone hurts the ones she loves. I easily evaded her punch.

Lilith and her vulnerable mind to find the Truth. "I sense the intruder has done something to Nightwing! His mental patterns have been altered." She announced. Oh boy.

"What have you done to him?" Garth threw an unwavering punch. How can I prove that I'm not an enemy? They need to remember.

"You guys need to stop!" Dick tried reaching for me but was held back by Donna.

"Who is he?" She scowled as I avoided another blow with my speed.

"It doesn't matter who you are--" Lilith yelled, reaching her powers out and I fall down in pain. "--you can't outrun your own thoughts!" I scream.

"S'okay. We got him!" uhm. Ow. The when-all-else-fails Harper Hook. But when his punch hit, the sparks fly again. The memory dam bursts. He falls to the floor on his knees, cradling his head.

"What are you doing to my friends?" Donna attacked from behind. More sparks. More memories.

"He put Donna into some kind of trance!" Lilith yelled. "Grab him, Garth, and--" She was cut off as they both grab my arms. Sparks fly.

"Wally..." Lilith pulled her hood down. "It's wally." Tears welled in her eyes.

"Wally?" Donna stood back up. "Wally?!"

"I don't understand..." Garth ran a hand through his hair.

Dick still had yet to say something. Staring.

"Dick--" I started. I never figured out what I was going to say.

"Four years." He said, standing from the position I left him in from before the fighting began. "Four years! That's how long It's been!" He lashed out in anger, tears slipping past his mask. The others watched in somber silence. "You..." He started breaking down. "You were alive all along?" His voice cracked.

"Not exactly." I sighed, walking to him. "I was trapped in the speed force. It took me a while but I figured it out." I took his hand. This wasn't exactly how I planned for this to happen but it's now or never. "I needed something strong to bring bring me back." His masked eyes locked with mine and I could almost imagine those wide blue iris underneath it. "My lightning rod."

The way his mask contorted his eyes seemed to grow wider. I leaned closer and paused, waiting for a reaction. Our lips just barley grazing. I could feel his breath hitch on my face. We're so close.

Before I got the chance to doubt myself he lunged forward and connected our lips, holding me close with his arms around my neck. I gripped his waist like a lifeline.

Roy whistled from the sidelines. "It's about time." It was all background noise to me. I was in complete bliss.

Finally, I'm home.

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

wally and dick doodle bc I love them and experimenting with outfits

Merry christmins

The noises I made during that episode embarrass me. I was a howling whale until the end.

Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him

Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.

It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.

So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.

Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.

Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).

Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?

All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.

Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.

One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.

They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.

Memes For The Vibes:

Today's the day!

Birdflah!!! Where Wally slowly realizes that Dick is surrounded by gingers and it dawns on him that dick's type is gingers.

Wally: did you hooked up with roy?

Dick: uh no? Like I had thing for him but he preferred them violent and traumatized.

Wally: *knows that roy is with jason* okay

Wally: did you hook up with Artemis?

Dick: yeah, twice long ago, we were like 18 or something.

Wally: okay.

Wally: did u hook up with kori?

Dick: that one was more than a hook!! We had actually a good relationship that lasted long, but then she wanted other things and left so yeah.

Wally: *remembering that Dick and kori talk alot on the phone and stuff* okay.

Wally: what are the chances of me preventing dick from meeting another ginger?

Tim: slim. He's a ginger magnet.

Jason: and he has a tendency to fuck them, roy was the only exception.

Wally: so I have my days counted??

Tim: not exactly. I think dick is serious about you. I mean besides kori, most of his gingers hooks up where during your speedforce era.

Wally: does that mean...

Tim: you gonna be on family dinners for a very long time.

Wally: YES. TAKE THAT GINGERS!!

Badabababa I'm loving it!

Lois Lane is hunting Danny to get an interview with the King of the afterlife, or whatever it is Phantom does. (Mama wants another Pulitzer for the pile!)

Danny is trying like hell to avoid her, since he's not supposed to just tell people how the afterlife works. (Also, Lois scares him.)

"Hide me!" Phantom shrieked before ducking underneath Batman's cape.

They were barely given a moment to even be surprised before the doors slammed open.

Lois Lane stood proudly in front of the doors, somehow finding a way onto the Justice League watchtowers. She scanned the room with her eyes narrowed like a predator trying to find prey as she grit her teeth and snarled, "Where is he?"

Superman coughed. "Lois! What are you doing here? Actually— how'd you even get here?"

Lois waved him off. "Don't worry about it. Where. Is. He?"

Batman was furiously typing away on his phone, possibly trying to find out how a civilian (admittedly married to a fellow superhero) was able to get into the watchtower, while everyone else shared looks.

"Uhm. Who?" Green Lantern asked awkwardly, exchanging a glance with the Flash.

"He! Phantom! He owes me an interview! Actually, he owed me one 45 minutes ago! I had to chase him from New York to Mexico to Peru and then to here! Where is he?!"

Wonder Woman said rather blandly, "He's not here."

Lois narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?"

Wonder Woman nodded sagely. "Yes. He darted out of sight using his powers. Perhaps he hoped that you'd waste your time here while he ran off further."

"Dang it! Alright, excuse me, please, I need to search for a certain ghost!" Lois snapped before she strode off like a storm, just as quick as she appeared.

There was silence for a long time.

Then Phantom poked his head out of Batman's cape.

"Thanks for the assist, guys. Also, Batman, did you know that your cape is actually partly a portal?"

"I'm sorry, what—?!"