Everyday I Feel Like I'm Counting Down

People who have read "the song of Achilles" need to read "the silence of the girls" and Homer's Iliad, as in song of Achilles the story is told from Patroclus' perspective, someone who loved Achilles so he's incredibly biased and mainly focuses on how amazing Achilles was,

when actually he's the reason so many died during the trojan was because of his massive tantrum over Briseis (who would not have been like a close friend to them she would have just been a slave for Achilles to use)

Then again after Patroclus dies he commits horrific acts "in the name of love" but in Homer's Iliad the entire plot is off Achilles anger, it starts with his annoyance of being dishonoured and ends with his rage as his lover is killed because of his original anger.

I want some platonic love yk?

I don't need a bf or gf I just want a close friend who gets me

someone who is close and touchy but we both know there's nothing more to it

I want to love someone without worrying that they think I LOVE them like I don't want to date anyone I just want someone to share this life with

I am grieving the living more than I am grieving the dead

I cry over people who don't even think about me anymore

And it hurts knowing they will never want me back

Am I trans?? Bro help

I don't like being a girl, i don't hate it but i'd rather be perceived as nothing yk?

A lot of people don't really see me as a girl and I like that

I'd rather have been born a boy but I don't want to change now I guess

I hate my chest and I don't really want it

My mum is okay with me being trans but she doesn't really get it

i love having so many random hobbies as no one really expects like:

Yeah I do musical theatre

yeah I'm training to be a lifeguard

yeah I'm an art scholar

yeah I'm a writer

yeah i used to do horse riding, violin, piano, singing, ballet, rugby ect

roles I wanted vs what i actually got:

DNA Wanted - any girl part Got - Danny

Cinderella panto wanted - fairy godmother got - evil step mother

Across the line (show created by my academy) Wanted - Kai (main part) Got - I was the only one without a named/speaking part T_T

Trouble's a brewin (made up show) wanted - anything Got - nothing lol

Legally blonde wanted - Margo Got - idk yet

I am one of the only student that have been there for years only recently they realised I could sing like bro wtf

i wonder who i would be if i kept my hair cut short

i wonder who i'd be if i actually transitioned socially

i wonder if i'd be happier as a boy

i wonder if i stuck to using he/they pronouns i'd feel better

i wonder who he would be if i let them stay

I wish I was religious

I love the idea of truly believing in something or someone higher than me, having someone to dedicate part of my life to and look to for guidance.

Unfortunately at like age 5 i woke up one day and decided I don't believe in anything except science

but religion can be such a beautiful thing and I wish i could push myself to actually believe in anything

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms