Curate, connect, and discover
Hurt - Blog Posts
"How dare you. How dare you leave me when I am at my worst. You hold a blank stare as you shatter me with your words. Can't you see I'm bleeding out? You storm away and shut the door, and the only thing I can possibly think of is how I just lost you. And how much I'm going to miss you. But you don't care, and now I realize, you never did."
- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent
“Your eyes are far too pretty to be wet by those who didn’t realize what they had.”
- a.m. {they don’t deserve you}
why do i have to feel if all i've felt is hurt.
- i'm stuck in a mess that i made for myself
any trace of you is burned into the back of my mind with the pen i used to write our love story
A.R. {all six hundred and thirty pages}
2am thoughts
The first person you think in the Morning, or last person you think of at night,
Is either the cause of your happiness or your pain
Sometimes both
“It’s okay to want something that’s going to hurt”
— Holly Black (The Queen of Nothing)
I opened myself up to you completely
life upidate
FUCKKKKKK MEEE THIS HIRTS!!!!! i bit my uhh my my thumb it stings it burns it it hirts where are my hello kitty bandages
i only have 3 left this is so not worth it, im toughing it out.
i rpmised my boyfriend i'd do his homework since its pythagorean theorem. pythag is one of my favorite math topics, its simple for me and i want it. i WANT it. jk!!!!! no but actually its pretty fun to do and i should probably get started.
i also ate a bag of hot cheetos earlier and my stomch feels like its burning
BARTY CROUCH JR
'I fucked up. I fucked up . I fucked up' Barty could not look away from him- Harry Potter, the boy who lived ; but he was supposed to be Haz the adorable lil' kid with a toothless smile. He was supposed to go on playdates with Luna and be spoiled rotten by his uncle Barty and uncle Evan.
He was James' carbon copy with Lily's eyes. But it was his behaviour that made Barty want to crawl into a hole - his dry humour and quick remarks, his skill in quidditch and even his smile was Regulus'.
But he would never get to know him as Haz, just 'Mr. Potter' and he would never get to be uncle Barty , instead he'd be Professor Moody .
“I feel very small. I don't understand. I have so much courage, fire, energy, for many things, yet I get so hurt, so wounded by small things.”
Anaïs Nin, from nearer the moon: the previously unpublished unexpurgated diary,1937-1939
Jane O. Wayne // Kate Jacobs
Don't be sad when I go .. don't pretend you didn't know, Berry that pain deep inside just like me it had to go
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
— Unknown
• [I have scars but the most painful ones are fresh and in my heart.] •
They can’t be seen and hiding the pain hurts even more.
I told my friend what hurt the most.
The sky began to darken and lights began to glow in the darkness. The man's face held it's fearful look as he realized he had been caught. Caught by the most important thing to him; the thing he wanted to protect the most from the absolute worst. He knew it was over before it began. His heart trembled knowing that this moment was his number one fear.
The girl didn't know what to think. Thoughts raced through her head, as did her heart. The nightmare had only just begun. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. Her entire world that she knew seemed to fall apart from the moment she caught him. Everything she thought she knew now changed as reality hit her like a bus. The man she gave her whole self too was not the man she thought him to be.
"Tom..." Her voice cowered back, afraid of what he could possibly become. Who was he really, now that she knew about his other side.
"I can explain, but you have to hear me out." He tried to speak calmly, but felt a shiver as he thought of a possible outcome, all pointing to something he didn't want to deem possible. The idea that the girl who became his universe, his everything, could leave him indefinitely.
"What is there to explain? You have lied to me this entire time about something this big!" Her voice quivered, yet showed strength at the same time.
"That I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you put of this world. This terrible one that I'm trapped in. I wanted to keep you put of it. I need you to be safe because I love you more than anything." He began to whisper as he began to inch closer to her.
"The only question I have is why? Why is killing your reality? Why are you trapped in something you don't want a part of?" Tears streamed down her face as overwhelming anxiety filled her core.
"I went down a path no one should ever choose. I thought I was doing good by my father. I was forced into this and if I try and leave, everything will be lost forever. They will go after the best thing in my life. I can't lose you. Not now, not ever."
The man pulled the girl into a tight embrce as if she would disappear from right in front of him.
She had a difficult time accepting the new information in front of her. Her love being affiliated with the mafia? His father being the leader and ruining his own son?
"I don't know anymore. I don't think I can do this." She said this as she pushed him away from her. This was the first time she ever felt like she was being suffocated by him and his love.
"Please don't leave me." His voice was was losing it's grip as he continued to speak in a hushed tone.
"Tom, I.."
He placed his lips upon hers in that moment. She melted into it, but soon realized what was happening.
"Tom, I can't." She turned her back on him for the very first time, walking farther and farther away from the best thing that happened to her as tears gushed from her eyes.
There was another girl in her life,
her name was Crystal.
She came to her like a theif in the night,
promising solace in her cold brittle arms.
Crystal made her feel like flying,
not with wings,
but with fire in her veins.
She came to her like the cold in summer,
the warm in winter,
soft-lipped and knowing,
promising a love that never left,
a touch that never judged.
She held her close in the quiet,
when the world was too loud,
too cruel.
Crystal listened,
without questions,
just the hush of ecstasy
and a breath that smelled like escape.
With her, the nights were stars
bursting behind eyelids.
She wrapped her in silk smoke,
spun kisses of frost and flame,
and whispered:
"You’ll never need anyone but me."
Crystal was there when no one else was.
A lover,
a mother,
a savior in shimmer and sting.
She filled the cracks with lightning,
made broken feel beautiful,
made ruin taste sweet.
Crystal made her feel.
Emotions heightened.
But Crystal was a fucking lie.
She wasn’t warmth,
she was frost that burned,
a match pressed to the lips
that begged for solace.
She didn’t love her,
she used her,
like fire uses wood
until all that’s left
is ash and echo.
Crystal drained her slowly,
first the sleep,
then the hunger,
then the will.
She kissed her pulse,
then stole it.
She was the rush
before the ruin,
the high
before the hollow.
Her laughter grew quiet,
her joy grew thin,
her skin,
a parchment of stories
she no longer remembered writing.
Crystal never held her hand,
she held her hostage.
Every embrace
was a chain.
Every promise
was a blade.
She loved her
like a flame loves a moth,
dancing close,
until there was nothing left
but a flicker and a fall.
I'll never forget her,
and all her conniving ways.
Her name was Crystal...
Crystal meth...
-Cyrus K.
Can you do angsty romantic prompts/angsty love triangle prompts/bad timing angsty romantic prompts
angsty romance prompts as requested by anonymous
1. your eyes keep searching for theirs almost like it's automatic. maybe that's why you know that they're never looking at you, but at the girl sitting on the other far end of the room, sipping a drink.
2. your calendars are all marked; there's a big red circle around today's date. you're so ready for this, you've been preparing a week ahead - even went to their favourite book store to buy a book you know they've been eyeing for a while. the gift wrapped book sits neatly inside your bag, and you're skipping steps to see them as soon as you can—
you finally see them but they're not alone. oh. you've never seen them smile like that before. oh wow. you can't believe how gentle that smile looks framed by the sunset, but it's not for you. you turn around, and the gift bag digs into your skin from how tightly you're holding it.
3. you can do this. you can do this. you can do —
"hey," you finally begin before your mind shuts you up again. "I need to tell you something."
you know you have their attention, judging by their pursed lips and raised eyebrows. you feel like they're screaming the word "what?"
"um , it's— I like you."
you wish for a smile to grace their features but unfortunately for you, your wishes don't come true.
"I already knew," they say and it feels like someone stabbed you in the back.
"h-how long?" why didn't you say anything? why were you silent all this time? oh. ohh.
suddenly, everything makes sense. you don't need an answer to know that your feelings are not returned. you try a weak attempt at a smile, just so that you don't start crying on the spot.
4. "hey, I understand you love me, but you know that we need to settle on a place to live together, if we want to be together... right?"
"I know, I know, but I don't know what I'm going to do with my life yet! you have everything figured out, and I... I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow!!"
you feel the familiar feeling of your throat closing up again - you've had this conversation way too many times to know how it ends.
"I understand love, but we gotta at least make a plan right? at least try to?" you feel like you're pleading but you try and ignore it.
"is it so bad to just live in the present?" they ask and something in you snaps.
"so what? just so we can break up when I have to move back home? I can't stay here, my course gets over in a few months!!"
you hear just their breathing for a moment from the other end of the line. you wish things could be that peaceful.
"I don't plan my life like yours... I can't — it just makes me feel stuck."
you let silence fill the words you don't want to say, or the words you don't want to hear. you just don't know anymore.
5. "you know I still love you the same way I did before right?"
you sigh. this was hard for you too but they don't seem to get it.
"I know and I loved you too."
a pause. "I loved you. that's all you seem to say to me nowadays. that you don't love me anymore."
they don't need to know that you had to say it enough times to yourself to believe it.
"how can I trust you the same way again? after you broke my heart and gave me a year of radio silence, just to come back and claim that you love me again? please don't test me!"
only I know how those 365 days felt like an entire lifetime of endless pain.
thank you for being my first ask anon! i hope you like this :)
Rejection in Good Omens
In season 2, Crowley was rejected by Aziraphale for the THIRD TIME. In season 1, Crowley offers Aziraphale to leave with him, saying, “We’re on our side”, but Aziraphale rejects his idea. When Crowley asks, for the second time in season 1, to “go off together” to Alpha Centurai, Aziraphale rejects the idea AGAIN.
In season 2, Crowley tries to convince Aziraphale they‘re on their own side, away from Heaven and Hell; Heaven and the angels who rejected them both aren’t worth going back to. But once again, Aziraphale rejects the idea and goes back to heaven.
During the rejections, Aziraphale states, “I forgive you.” meaning he’s rejecting Crowley’s ideas, not him.
Getting rejected by Aziraphale wouldn’t be Crowley’s first reaction. He is a fallen angel, after all; God, Heaven, and the other angels have rejected him. Even Hell and the other demons had rejected him after Armageddon. Heck, even Crowley himself seems to have rejected himself; he calls himself a “Former Demon”.
While Aziraphale’s first and only rejection seems to be him getting kicked out of heaven after Armageddon.
I hurt someone n yet I don't feel bad.
Why?
Maybe I m learning to let the toxic things go.
Don't stop if it hurts.
Hope I will feel alive one more day.🤞
I hurt them more than they love me.
Letting go
I am letting go
It feels like I’m burning alive and being frozen at the same time
Withdrawal
Sadness sitting in my bones
Memories flooding my brain
But I need to let go
No one should ever be able to hurt me like that and still get my love
Not anymore
I need to move on
Even though I can only think about the good times we had
and it is breaking me in ways I can’t seem to explain
I need to let you go
Because all you did to me
Would be enough to break ten peoples hearts
And still
You managed to do all that to a single one
My one
My still deeply in love one
Maybe we will meet again in another life and our souls will have learned enough to finally make it work
But for now
Please let me let you go
~ honestlywhatfor ~
Wonders
Lilac skies
Fading into snow sprinkled mountains
Soft winds
Making their way up the valley
The smell after rain
Blessing my lungs as I slowly breathe
In the middle of nowhere
As if I were the only person on this planet
And as I am standing here
Admiring the world we live in
Finding beauty in every single piece of nature
Surrounded by countless little wonders
All I can think about
Is you
~ honestlywhatfor ~
Your love hurts
I don’t know what it is about you
That makes you sabotage it every single time
Ripping craters into earth
Opening gates to what might be called hell
Standing on the edge, balanced
Grabbing my hand
Jumping
Clamped together
I never wanted to fall
Life on the edge was great
But again and again
You need us to hurt
So here we are
Falling
and falling
and falling
and falling
~ honestlywhatfor ~
We love each other
neither one of us wants to admit it, but
in the weirdest way possible
we love each other
~ honestlywhatfor ~
One minute in your arms can make me forget all my doubts.
A power I never wanted you to have.
~ honestlywhatfor ~
Fragile Pieces
Trust is a fragile piece of paper
And you seem to have a hole puncher in your back pocket at all times
A lighter at hand as well
Punching, ripping, burning my once whole paper
Leaving me with a sad little snippet
A little crumpled up, even after a lot of smoothing
There’s this pathetic peace of paper I’m holding onto
It’s not much
And it won’t last forever
But I won’t give up
Because I can still read the words
Scrawled in your handwriting
“I love you”
Trust is a fragile piece of paper
And as long as it’s marked by you
My pitiful peace of paper
Will stay with me
At all times