I Hate My Brain - Blog Posts

I act out in hopes that I won't be left alone. I speak loudly in hopes that people will listen. I take fast in hopes that I don't bore people. I say everything I can in hopes that people won't forget. I do so much to try and have friends but at the end of the day I'm just the weird girl who says unhinged stuff. I just want to not feel alone for once. I want to be able to do the things I dream about with someone else. I sacrifice what I want so that someone will stick with me, but I never get that in return. I let them treat me like shit because at least they acknowledge me. I'm alone even when I'm surrounded by my friends because I know they would choose each other over me.

I'm gonna actually chuck myself off the side of a building. I can't do this anymore. Life actually hates me. Everything keeps going wrong, but then it dangles something nice right in front of my face, just to snap it in half. I'm just so tired. I can't do this anymore. I am one more bad event away from ending it all. Stop pushing me to my breaking point, PLEASE!!!!

writing fanficiton is so hard like turning this lil Drabble into maybe a one shot/full story and then I burn out cause I’m no longer motivated and focus on something else or I am motivated but I’m procrastinating at the same time because wdym I have to make an actual story line with no plot holes?? wdym I have to actually explain stuff and create backstories like I was just writing in the moment :( this is the same for drabbles btw procrastination and burning out like a firework are my archenemies.

AND THEN I read a rlly rlly good fanfic/ one shot / Drabble and I get inspired by the idea and I start writing right? it can last for a couple of months, to a week, to maybe an hour. idk i think it might be attention span problems or mb I’m undiagnosed.

this might’ve not have made sense cause I’m rlly just rambling BUT isn’t it funny how I’m complaining about writing anything but I’m doing it rn. no not funny? okay goodbye.

my new therapy, hello tumblr

hello, i have characters for bad idea

Khonsu

Hero, Generation III

Civilian identity: Issac [REDACTED]

Wavy hair(undercut), dyed dark red, and brown eyes

Positives: Analytical, open-minded, objective, charismatic

Negatives: Insensitive, solitary, repressed, restless

Forever tired dad to three(3) chaotic heroes-in-training

Manipulates lunar energy, often called a werewolf

Trained in Project [REDACTED]

Helios

Villain, Generation III

Civilian identity: Connor [REDACTED]

Curly hair, natural black w/ violet ends, and gray eyes

Positives: Brilliant, practical, perceptive, direct

Negatives: Risk-prone, defiant, impatient, merciless

Is probably a masochist but strongly denies it

Telekinesis, and manipulates fire and solar energy, is called a phoenix

Trained in Project [REDACTED]

Shu

Hero informant, Generation II

Civilian identity: Benett "Benji" Clay

Wavy hair, natural dark brown, and hazel eyes

Positives: Enthusiastic, good-natured, curious, driven

Negatives: Disorganized, people-pleasing, nosy, gullible

Khonsu's kind of sort of brother

Manipulates the wind, isn't called any sort of mythical animal

Trained in Project Brimstone

Moryana

Vigilante, Generation IV

Civilian identity: Penelope Sosa

Straight hair, dirty blonde, and dark brown eyes

Positives: Supportive, hardworking, rational, reliable

Negatives: Reserved, overcommitted, altruistic, disrespectful

Has been subjected to horoscope readings, would not recommend

Manipulates water, is probably a siren

Trained in Project Ether

Tiamat

Villain, Generation III

Civilian identity: Makayla [REDACTED]

Curly hair, black, and brown eyes

Positives: Observant, creative, pragmatic, magnetic

Negatives: Unfocused, easily bored, sensitive, vicious

Khonsu and Shu's kind of sort of sister

Manipulates water and storms, is definitely a siren

Trained in Project [REDACTED]

Nyx

Vigilante, Generation II

Civilian identity: Kameron Caye

Wavy hair, light brown, and green-gray eyes

Positives: Empathetic, passionate, idealistic, generous

Negatives: Unrealistic, vulnerable, self-critical, isolated

Friends-with-benefits with Shu, supposedly no feelings involved

Manipulates darkness and stellar energy, probably a vampire

Trained in Project Brimstone

I might be posting short stories introducing them as best as I can because writing is about as easy as me balancing myself on a thin circle. It won't make sense and it definitely won't make sense. Yes, I just wrote that twice. Yes, I am slightly sleep-deprived.

The gods have made many mistakes and their greatest was giving me a flesh suit to inhabit.

I'm supposed to be asleep right now

But once again I'm in my room crying

Wishing that everything would just stop.

I had a weird idea based on a typo Imagine newsies but there all cats I call it Mewsies

Jack: Burmese Cat

Davey: Savannah Cat

Cruchie: Ragdoll with 3 legs

Race: Birman

Spot: Siamese Cat

Pulitzer: Persian Cat

Kath: Norwegian Forest Cat

Medda: Maine Coon

If anyone else has any other ideas please add onto it

It’s like 1:00 am and I keep having these weird thoughts so I’m just gonna post them here because I feel like if any site is gonna get me it would be this site. I keep having these weird thoughts because I’m super insecure but I’m also super nice so my brain sometimes just puts me in weird, impossible situations. The most common though I have is if I ever met someone who looked exactly like me or if I ever met another me that was the exact same as I am now how would I react. My brain typically does this when I’m being self deprecating and I’m overwhelmed so my first thought is typically that I’m ugly but then my brain starts berating me for being mean to this not real person who looks exactly like me. I then go in circles about this for about an hour until I force myself to sleep or I get distracted by something else.

You want to kiss me ?

The thing that killed Jesus ?

Me and bro on some meta shit you wouldn’t understand

On my communicating with the spirits of deceased excommunicated members of the church era

A cockroach saved my life the other day and I am now convinced that it was Kafka from the other side

What I’ve been up to? Oh you know the usual. Recognising parallels, symbolisms or perhaps euphuisms, deciphering runes, taking in the absurdity of life, analysing old sayings and making my life into a big metaphor in order to cope.

Having a crush is NOT for the weak

Tag yourself down below !

I actually cannot take it anymore lol

My own brain traumatises me

Journaling my realisations about life as if it’s a manifesto that people during the next century will base their political and ethical ideologies on.

put in the tags the first thing that comes up when u type “i am,” “i’m not,” “i love,” “i hate,” and “i wish”