Barry Allen - Blog Posts

Rant ahead: Bart and the Rogues Gallery.

Why is it that every speedster has some sort of relationship with the rogues except for the one that it actually would make sense if he had one. Are you seriously telling me Bart Henry Allen-Thawne II has NO correlation to them at ALL, but Wally and Barry do???

I get Barry ‘believes’ in them or whatever, but that doesn’t mean they’re automatic buddies. He has major trust issues and doesn’t even like turning his back around them!

And Wally? Wally has this weird thing against villains, no matter how small the crime. I mean, he broke up a friendship that he had for YEARS with Hartley Rathaway because Pied Piper went off book for a mission that was for A GOOD CAUSE.

Bart Allen’s half brother Owen is in the rogues. His twin clone is in the rogues. Digger knew his mother, and I’m sure he’d want to know more about her. He’s an outcasted flashfam member that needs a home because every family he’s been put into disappeared or died. First Max and then Jay, then the Titans disbanded. He doesn’t belong to any timeline, never met his father, abandoned by his mother so he wouldn’t be kidnapped by science cops, sent by his own evil Grandpa! That sounds like just about any other rogue sob story. And yet he has no connection to them. AT ALL. Which is just… Mind boggling!

And the one issue he gets with them, the rogues KILL him?? Which is totally out of character for them because one of their main rules is NO KILLING FLASHES. With time and character development, I’m sure Thad will come around and Bart will give him a chance, no matter how skeptical he is, because it’s what Max wanted for them and that was Bart’s goddamn dad, so help me! And Bart really doesn’t mind the whole villain thing either; he’s held casual conversation with the JOKER. Are you kidding me??

Do y’all understand how upsetting this is, or am I the only one???

Computer : Please enter a password.

Snart : *type Barry*

Computer : Your password is too weak.

Snart : How fucking DARE YOU-

Barry : *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Oliver : What did you do.

Barry : Nobody died!

Oliver : WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Caitlin : Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Barry : Well Len and I-

Joe : *elbows Barry*

Barry : ...wouldn't know.

Boys of Flashfam connections but as D&D alignments.

Barry and Wally: Lawful Neutral. They share the same need to serve justice And Wally’s the “golden child”.

Wally and Bart: Chaotic Neutral. Bart annoys Wally, Wally makes Bart consider murder, at the end of the day they tolerate each other at most.

Barry and Bart: Chaotic Evil. Barry doesn’t believe in Bart, Bart’s trying his best and he will throw hands with his grandpa. Barry is just a tyrant. They have some kind of feud because Bart is also related to Eobard.

Barry and Jay: Lawful good. Ever heard the expression apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? In this case it’s more like that tree was genetically cloned to make a new tree and those two trees make it Hell for the apples trying to roll far away from them.

Wally and Jay: Lawful neutral. They have a decent standpoint on each other. Jay sometimes has old man wisdom but ehhh well-

Bart and Jay: True Neutral. Oh boy where do I begin. Outside if the suits, they are just like a boy living with his uncle. In suits, it’s like a constantly angry bird telling off another smaller bird for wanting to fly.

Bart and Max: Chaotic good. This, this right here is father and son. They have wholesome and domestic lives and a dad trying to teach his kid about heroism. Nothing to see here.

Wally and Max: True Neutral. Max babysits the kids sometimes. They have nothing against each other but they’re also not close. No one’s as close to Max as Bart is.

Barry and Max: Chaotic Neutral. Picture if you will. “Hey old man I hardly talk to. I know you’re basically retired and all but take this kid that’s my grandson, raise and teach him.” Says Barry dropping off Bart like he were a puppy. Sorry Max, Barry can’t teach Bart cause he doesn’t feel like it.

What do you think?

Siblings

Iris : Barry, I'm sad...

Barry, Holds out arms for a hug : It's going to be okay!

VS

Lisa : Lenny, I'm sad...

Snart, nodding : mood.

Barry : Hey I'm about to get in the shower, you wanna join me?

Snart : there's a pistolet taped underneath the island in the kitchen. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to shoot me. Aim for the head, don't stop until I'm dead.

Caitlin : Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

Barry : I- what?

Snart : My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.

Lisa : It’s called connotations.

Cisco : Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."

Mick : Great news! Language is now banned!

Time family AU

Teacher : Your child was in a fight.

Doctor!11 : Oh no, that’s terrible!

Mom Kaya : Did they win?

━━━━━━━━❪❐❫━━━━━━━━

Doctor - dad

Doctor who

-

Kaya - mom

Oc

-

Logan & Peter Parker

Wolverine - Marvel - Spiderman

-

Tony Stark & Bruce waine

Marvel - Dc

-

John wick

John wick

-

Eddie Brock

Marvel

-

Dean Winchester

Supernatural

-

Mycroft Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

-

Sam winchester

Supernatural

-

Jake Peralta

Brooklyn 99

-

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

-

Barry Allen & Harley Quinn

Dc

-

Steve Harrington

Stranger things

-

Harry Potter

Harry potter

-

Scott McCall & Thomas

Teen wolf - Le labyrinthe

-

Malicia/rogue

Marvel

-

Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson

-

Jenny

Doctor who

-

Barry : You have to apologize to them len.

Leonard : Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

It's so them 😭

*at an mission*

Barry : Can you carry me on your back, like you did with Caitlin?!

Mick : I don't think Snart would like that.

Barry : *pouts*

*Later*

Barry : *Getting carried by Mick*

Snart : What the hell??

Mick : What was I supposed to do? Say no???

Snart made this post 😂

Time family AU

Barry : I just saw Mom for the first time in years.

Bruce : No way! And…?

Barry : I told mom I was an Olympic gymnast.

Bruce :

Bruce : Why?

Barry : Well, you know when you get nervous socially, you end up lying to impress?

Bruce : No.

Barry : Exactly, we’ve all done it.

━━━━━━━━❪❐❫━━━━━━━━

Doctor - dad

Doctor who

-

Kaya - mom

Oc

-

Logan & Peter Parker

Wolverine - Marvel - Spiderman

-

Tony Stark & Bruce waine

Marvel - Dc

-

John wick

John wick

-

Eddie Brock

Marvel

-

Dean Winchester

Supernatural

-

Mycroft Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

-

Sam winchester

Supernatural

-

Jake Peralta

Brooklyn 99

-

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

-

Barry Allen & Harley Quinn

Dc

-

Steve Harrington

Stranger things

-

Harry Potter

Harry potter

-

Scott McCall & Thomas

Teen wolf - Le labyrinthe

-

Malicia/rogue

Marvel

-

Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson

-

Jenny

Doctor who

-

Barry : Hey how are you?

Snart : I would die for you.

Barry :

Snart : I mean, I'm good and you?

inaccurate Flashfam quotes #8

Black Flash: I've come to collect your souls.

Barry: I wont let you hurt my family!

Wally: We'll defeat you together!

Bart: COME AT ME, GRIM REAPER MOTHER FUCKER!

*absolute silence*

Max: That's my boy.

Barry : What are you in the mood for?

Snart : World domination.

Barry : That's a bit ambitious.

Snart : You are my world.

Barry : Aww...

Snart :

Barry :

Snart :

Barry : OH!

Oliver picking up the phone : Hello?

Barry : It's Barry.

Oliver : What did he do this time.

Barry : What ? No! Oliver it's me !

Oliver : What did you do this time.

Barry TDI

Barry

Profession : CSI

Artifact : Red Bracelet.

Personality: Basic Barry.

More : He can't stop talking.

Strap: Red/Yellow.

-

Bart

Profession : Police officer.

Artifact : Red Coat & Glasses.

Personality: Badass and Protector of Others.

More : He smokes.

Strap: Red/Black.

-

Bar

Profession : Secretary

Artifact: Red Earring & red Heel

Personality : Flirting & Cheerful,

Plus : He wears skirts and he's Singh's favorite

Strap: Red/Pink

-

Bartholomew

Profession : Doctor.

Artifact : Red Watch.

Personality : Cold, calculating.

More : He's the only one who doesn't really like Joe

Strap : Red/White

Lisa : Kiss, Marry, kill : Cisco, Caitlin, and Barry!

Snart : Kill Cisco, kill Caitlin, and...

Snart :

Snart : Marry Barry.

Snart : *Look at Barry with eyes full of intent*

Barry : ...Yes...

Cisco whispering : What the hell just happened?

Caitlin whispering back : I- I think they just got engaged?

*At the police station*

Barry : Hi, I'm here for Len.

Police officer : who's Len?

Barry : Ah, you must be new.

Iris : How was the honeymoon?

Barry : Len got drunk and set our marriage certificate on fire.

Barry : He said, "Good luck trying to return me without the receipt"

Iris : ...

Barry being a simp : I love him so much...

Caitlin : Yesterday, I overheard Barry saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Cisco replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Oliver : I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Barry, Kara, and Sara : ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!!!

Iris : Once someone interviewed Flash and asked him what he thought of the police. Flash replied that they're was all nice, except for the forensic pathologist Barry Allen who was according to him, and I quote, a jerk with a crappy name.

"Seriously, whose name is Bartholomew? This guy is a nuisance to humanity" Flash's words, not mine.

Iris : Later I found Barry watching the interview and insulting the Flash. And i quote : "Get yourself a real job before you insult me, you bitch! "

I already knew that Barry had mental problems, but from that day on I decided to drag him to therapy.

*talking on the phone*

Oliver : Remember how I said that Barry and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?

Dig : Yeah…

Oliver : Well, we’re in jail.

Dig : *hangs up*

Dig want to die

Sometime they take Kara

inaccurate Flashfam quotes #7

Bart: Barry, I like boys. And I'm in love with Ed!

Barry: *confused about confrontation* Okay, I'm glad you told me, Bart.

Wally: ooo, about that...

Barry: wait- what?

Wally: There's a reason I've been hanging out with Dick more often.

Barry: ...

Barry: Do any of you kids like girls?

Jenni: I do.

Barry: *tired sigh*

Hal "glowstick" Jordan: Is this a good time to tell the kids?

inaccurate Flashfam quotes #6

Bart: HAHAHAHAHHAAH YOU ALL SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE BUT LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!!!

Max: What's the kid on about?

Wally: Bart made a theory that he could use Chicken Whizzees as his lightning rod.

Barry: sighs heavily and it worked...

Bart: On a table laughing hysterically with a bag of Chicken whizzees in each hand THE FUTURE IS FOOD!!!

Barry doing flash business : I need someone to take me to art museums and make out with me.

Leonard doing captain cold business : But they said not to touch the masterpieces?

Barry : Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall...

Mick to the rogue and the team flash : This is Mick. Those idiots are flirting again.

Cisco : Every fucking time!

One of my favorite/weirdest AU

Docteur - Dad

Doctor who

-

Kaya - Mom

Oc

Logan & Peter Parker

Marvel

-

Tony Stark & Bruce Wayne

Marvel - DC

-

John wick

John wick

-

Eddie Brock

Marvel

-

Dean Winchester

Supernatural

-

Mycroft Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

-

Sam winchester

Supernatural

-

Jake Peralta

Brooklyn 99

-

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

-

Barry Allen & Harley Quinn

Dc

-

Steve Harrington

Stranger things

-

Harry Potter

Harry potter

-

Scott McCall & Thomas

Teen wolf - Le labyrinthe

-

Malicia/rogue

Marvel

-

Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson

-

Jenny

Doctor who

-

They are a big and happy family(⌐■_■) ❤️