Vent Kinda - Blog Posts

ik voel me overweldigd door emoties

ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen ik wil niet voelen

urgghhhhh

[translation: "i feel overwhelmed with emotions" then "i don't want to feel" 15 times]

"why arent you talking?" BECAUSE YOURE YELLING AT ME AND I DONT WANT TO BURST OUT CRYING MAYBE???

it genuinely bewilders me how some people are just utterly unwilling to beleive that someone might be undiagnosed and neurodivergent

College out of state is just learning how to listen to yourself tbh.

Don't wanna go to class today? Fine, how many excused absences do you have left? Will being absent throw your progress/grade out of whack? No? Then skip

Wanna hang out with potential friends? Oh you're burnt out/too tired to deal with people? That's fine too. You can still get tired of someone while getting along just fine.

You want to walk around the school grounds/go for a ride? Sure! You don't have to bar yourself from going outside as punishment for not hanging around others.

College is the time most people find themselves, and through that revelation, and their people. I know most have heard that before, but as cliché as it sounds, most ppl stuck to the others they had around in high school for social survival, so sincerity generally wasn't the main prerogative.

So, for the 95% of people who saw their high-school friendships flake away:

It sucks ass, I know, but when you get here you'll have a legitimate start to actually discover who you are outside of compromising factors (parents/guardians, siblings, former employers, etc.) ESPECIALLY for those w/ an invasive community.

And if I didn't make it clear enough before, the key to making use of this space is to not undervalue the small things. If you feel off about something, address it fairly—you're not a slacker just because you're straying from the model student ideal your parents forced you to compete against. Take it from a bio major who aced her last semester.

Why is it so fucking hard to get my leg to bleed with a plastic floss thingy it's so stupid

Ahhh, the ever lasting fear of posting or saying anything about anything really. The fear of being silly or rambling about my characters. Gets me every time :')

Pros and Cons of living in Alaska

Pros:

Hella pretty

Hella good food

Hella nice people

Also hella cute animals

And most importantly, its hella cozy and you know everyone because its so small(*cough cough* not the state I mean the communities *cough cough*)

We get some pretty small events, like a giant pride picnic every pride month(at least where I live)

Cons

Its cold and dark 50% of the year

And the other 50% its bright until midnight

Tourist season is awkward and you cant get anywhere without seeing a brightly dressed tourist

Pollen fucking everywhere, theres clouds of this satan dust blowing off the mountain

Snow doesnt melt until March-April

Bears are adorable fluffy assholes, they will stalk your trash and break it open like a peanut

Schools are low budget like seriously so much shit has been cut due to budget issues

Salmon spawning is both interesting and terrible, take your dog to the beach during spawning season. They be smelling like dead fish for weeks

Oh yeah, earthquakes are a thing

That's it for now. Dont get me wrong I love my little community(Juneau) but as someone who lived in a big city for 2 years believe me when I say Alaska is a "tiny" yet cozy state

When you can’t connect with anyone so you hit up anything that looks remotely human

Rant

Ok so I'm probably gonna sound like an asshole but I really need to vent kinda

I kind of hate posts but also love posts that are "stop stereotyping all of _ as _"

Because I'm the stereotype, I'm the androgynous looking nonbinary, I'm the stereotypical autistic, I'm the gay furry, I'm the gay autistic, I'm the young therian, I'm the fucking stereotypes that people hate, I'm the stereotypes that people are trying to get rid of

But I'm that, so I always feel personally attacked even tho I know the post is meant for good

I'm just the unlucky person who has to see all these posts and think "wow that's me, I must be doing something wrong" and I feel like shit

I know it's stupid, I know I should just be happy that people are spreading awareness, but I just feel like I'll be looked down upon for "spreading the stereotype" when I'm just being me

I hate how I overthink things so much to the point I can't even be happy people are expressing themselves :(

Why do I have to be the stereotype? Why can't I be a little bit different?

God it sucks

Sorry I just kinda needed to say this, I know someone is probably gonna get mad at me for feeling this way and buddy, I'm mad as well