3d But Not Sheeren - Blog Posts

I’ve been maintaining for a really long time and I feel so bad about it, I feel like restricting is worse now than before for some reason. I’m starting rn.

Today I ate SOOO bad and I’ve gained weight, i’m not longer on my gw F***. I tried To purge but I couldn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I like an@ but I sometimes prefer to be more of a mi@ girl. 😮‍💨

*ೃNo binges July✩‧₊˚

🚬

she is so me

manifesting on my journal.

What I ate today:

- Broccoli (140g-49cals)

- Bass (50g-63cals)

- Watermelon (4g-2cals)

- Strawberry (6g-2cals)

- Pineapple (90g-45cals)

Recommended calorie intake: 1510cals

Total of calories eaten: 160cals

PD: I did so well today, I hope I don’t f*** it up later!!!!

My best friend is the moon. She always listens to me when i need it. I love smoking c1garettes white talking to her. She is the only one who understands me. Love you moon xoxo.

a girl trapped in her thought is a girl you doesnt live

That’s it, im f rel@psing.

@NA HELP!!

Guys please i know this sounds bad, but could you 1nsult me or something? Like i swear the meanspø is not f working and i need to get back on track rn.

Please comment me sh1t.

I have a love-hate relationship with lax, like i love how skinny i feel after using them, but i hate feeling my @ss is on f fire.

MEANSPØ.

You choose your destiny.

You choose your d13t.

You choose the person you want to become.

You choose your b0dy.

Remember that the only person who is making you f47 is yourself.

.🦢.

Diet Coke and cigs are the only things keeping me alive. ♡

pinte suas unhas, não coma

tome banho, não coma

hidrate seu cabelo, não coma

faça skin care, não coma

escove seus dentes, não coma

beba água, não coma

faça exercícios, não coma

tome um chá, não coma

limpe a casa, não coma

leia um livro, não coma

se destraia e não coma

I binged the FIFTH FUCKING DAY IN A ROW.

Holy shit. I feel so ashamed for even typing this and I don't know how or why I could let that happen. And I could've restricted so easily, too, yesterday and today because my parents were at work and I was home alone with my siblings, but NOOO I had to fucking...

I haven't even weighed myself but I'm sure it's going to be awful when I do, especially since I've been doing so well before (I've lost a lot of weight and haven't binged for a relatively long time). I've probably ruined all the progress of the past weeks.

I'm going to fucking change now. I don't think today can be saved honestly, even if I at least counted most of my calories and compared to the other days, it wasn't as bad, but I'm still going to get in my steps and then I'll be fucking DONE with binging. Thankfully, we'll soon visit my Grandma and on travel days I can fast usually, so I'm going to absolutely use that as sort of catalyst for finally locking in again, but of course I'm going to start RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

I can't go back to school after Easter break having gained like 5kg or something, not when we have so many swimming classes atm and all my friends were calling me skinny and complimenting my waist. I still have a week and a half to lock in and lose weight and I'm going to use it.

In the second week, only my sister and I will be home for a couple of days and maybe I'll even try to fast through all of them (depending on how much school work I'll have left to do then)

So yeah, sorry for rambling but I do feel slightly better now because of it

I just wanted to work out, but when I started the headache I was having all day just got so bad I almost cried holy shit how do I get rid of that?

I fucking hate myself guys

It's the start of Easter break now and like any rational person I ditched all my plans and binged the first day and today as well

If I skip dinner and work out though I can probably do at least some kind of damage control (because I've eaten about 2000 calories now which is really fucking awful) and I can get my steps in as well... I'm just so disappointed in myself, because I was prepared for having my intake be a bit higher during the holidays, because sometimes when I have to eat with my family it just can't be avoided, but not like this, seriously

Anyway, looking forward I guess because I've already fucked shit up I can't change anyway 🥲

Now I WOULD definitely OMAD a bottle of wine

I thought I WANTED a proper balanced meal filling me up, getting rid of the headache and dizziness and giving me energy.

Turns out all I NEEDED was some coffee and a sf Monster

My food scale's batteries went empty and I don't think we have the right ones at home so I can't change them right away 😭

What am I supposed to doooo now I just wanna count my cals

Soooo these busy days I mentioned are over and I have in fact reached my lowest weight since summer! It's probably not that impressive but I am incredibly happy still. (And yes, I am in fact absolutely drained but I did have fun, I'm just so tired now 🥲)

Now I have this Sunday to get through, then a week of school when restricting will be easy of course, but then I'll have two weeks off due to Eastern....

I guess I'll really have to bury myself in work and exercise then and not give myself the chance to eat anything besides the meals I'll have to eat with my family.

Breakfast I should always be able to skip, dinner too I could say I take to my room to eat there because of school work or something, and then lunch I'll just have to always help preparing so I know exactly what we'll eat and so I can make at least my serving lower in calories.

Maybe I'll also have to resort to the sad Pinterest ana meals with half a cucumber and egg whites, because my parents don't seem to know an awful lot about nutrition, and as long as I eat anything they tend to not raise an eyebrow.

(No hate on these kind of meals, they're really a game changer, but since I tend to do OMAD and a small snack, I just really like to make my meals more colorful and more interesting)

I'll also have more time to exercise, then I know of two days on which I can fast, because we'll be travelling to my Grandma, and for a couple of days only my Dad and I will be home, and I have a feeling that will make not eating/eating low-cal meals even easier.

(Partly because the chance someone is going to be in the kitchen when I want to measure out my food will be lower lol)

The next few days are going to be incredibly busy for me, but that's awesome because I'll literally won't have time to eat :D

I'm not going to try and fast though, because I will need the energy

It started today with me having to stay at school until 6pm (🥲) because of choir practice, tomorrow I'll have to leave almost right after school to play at a concert (I know I'll barely have time to change and maybe practice the pieces one last time)

And on Saturday I'll have singing stuff from 8am to 4pm

Both crying and laughing right now because I know I'll be DRAINED when all this is over, but I won't be around my parents to watch me eat, I won't be at home with all the binge food and I'll probably be to busy to even think about eating anything, hopefully

As I mentioned though, I will be having dinner, because it's the only time I'll be around my parents and I will really need that energy

So, I tend to make self-deprecating jokes (I try not to, but sometimes when I feel especially bad they do slip out a lot)

But when I was about to make one, my one friend just told me (I can't tell if she was annoyed or rather angry, to be honest) to "quit with these fucking jokes" and yeah. I get my friends are done with me, but that still almost made me cry

The not-eating after my class was cooking went well yesterday, the teacher was so busy, she didn't even pay attention to me

Now that but four more times to go still 🥲

My class will go on a one week sailing trip in summer, so we're practicing what we'll cook and stuff, starting tomorrow - and I'm so scared. There's no way I'll eat at school, and even though it's kind of established between my friends and I that I just won't eat, what should I tell my teachers or other class mates if they ask?

I could go to the bathroom for a while once it's eating time, but what other things are there?

Please give some kind of advice guys 🥲

Guys im so angry, because I just ate a protein bar as I always do a little while before eating dinner with my family (so I feel more full and won't stuff myself) and then headed off to orchestra practice but then my mom called after me to take my keys with me because...... My parents won't be there this evening.

Meaning I could've easily fasted until tomorrow evening but noo I had to eat that stupid protein bar.

It's fine; I can just run the calories off but it'll still be that I have eaten when I could've stayed hungry 🥲

I can't believe I was actually considering thinking about thinking to consider recovery, when my siblings apparently see me the way they do - and if all it took was that and a good scroll through Tumblr then I guess I really wouldn't be ready at all

Meanspo?

Don't need that, my siblings made me in the Sims, realistically 😃🔫