Latest Posts by thealmightyrat - Page 2

My hobbies include reading, writing and doing neither of those things

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

Julius Caesar: When I said I wanted to be repeatedly penetrated by at least two dozen men wearing nothing but togas this WASN'T what I meant

If fish had legs they'd partake in the ides of march I think

reasons to kill caesar (in order of importance):

he slept with my mother

hes a dictator

Cassius doesn't like him.

everybody loves stabbing as a sign of homoerotic longing. but when I, Brutus,

et tu, mblr?

“The average person thinks about the Roman Empire every day” factoid is a statistical error. Tumblr users in March -

Thought I'd make a post introducing who I am >-< !!!

Name: Brutus!!

Pronouns: he/him (and in the process of making caesar's was/were)

likes: Democracy, my besties at the senate, the 15th of march, my uncle quintus

dislikes: caesar.

Taken 💞 (ily Cassius)

thinking about the moment brutus' silky sharp knife penetrated ceasar's tender skin for the first time... the tears in the corners of his eyes glistening in the ravenous sunlight, his plump peachy lips in awe as brutus places a soft, chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before driving the knife into his body again

The Aeneid is so annoying to read because it's going along going along it's a masterpiece it's a work of art "AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR AUGUSTUS"

If the Aeneid has a million fans, I'm one of them

If the Aeneid has one fan, I'm that one

If the Aeneid has no fans, my soul, indignant, has fled down to the underworld with a sigh

Discworld is so delightful because you get lines like "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve" except it's spoken by a 7 foot tall sentient clay statue named Pump 19 and directed to a man whose name is Moist von Lipwig

Ah, so when Circe wants to send them to the underworld, she is amazing and helpful, but when I, POSEIDON-

whenever they put Spock in all black it’s like. slut.

how is a little freak like me supposed to make it in this world

what's your name? (rhetorical) (because i will forget immediately)

will wood songs be like

*funky piano* what gender am i

morality is stupid and doesnt exist

im so fucking drunk holy shit

we're all gonna die one day (^-^)

I haven't eaten for three days.

acab

cowboy time !!! oh and drugs ig

i should be in a psych ward

yoo remember when we thought the world was gonna end? me neither

who am i

I'm so sorry for not showing you emotional vulnerability and I really love you, and trust me I'm trying to make those repairs to show you more love, and I'm trying to improve myself.

cum on me please

vampire prettyboy wants to suck your blood TODAY!!!!(with your consent ofc)

rats all the rats i want to be a rat let me be a rat

You will actually sob nonstop for ten minutes.

hey dawg you see that culture over there yeah fuck that

wow im so gosh darn normal (im lying please help me)

some of you need to romanticise the fucking paragraph break

The fact I’ve shown Will Wood songs to some people and they just don’t take to it is mad, you all don’t get the appeal of a song where some batshit deranged guy is singing the most abstract lyrics it’d take a team of English literature students to fully analyse in the most passionate way possible while the tempo picks up and slows down and the genre shifts halfway through for shits and giggles and random keyboard smashes and wilhelm screams are just thrown in the background and another guy is destroying his drum set and then somewhere along the way you start hearing a kazoo

faraday cages are so funny to me. what are we gonna do about all this dangerous radiation? let's put it in a little dog crate. and it works

man i love physics

hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was

Stan Rogers songs come in a few, occasionally overlapping flavors:

this boat is a heavy-handed metaphor for my personal struggles (Mary Ellen Carter, Last Watch, Barrett’s Privateers, etc)

I am being ground beneath the heel of Capital (Fisherman’s Wharf, Tiny Fish for Japan, The Idiot, most of them really)

Weeeheehee we’re shitfaced and having a great time! I recommend it!! (The Wreck of the Athens Queen, Giant, etc)

my romance is pure and true and yours is mere lust, you barbarian (You Can’t Stay Here, Lock-Keeper, Half of a Heart, etc)

an ode to something incredibly Canadian (Bluenose, MacDonnell on the Heights, Northwest Passage, etc)

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

the city watch series

the third dumbest thing I've made now Alternative title: All I Want for Christmas is You, Could You Take a Look at Me?

of all the worlds unreliable narrators i am by far the most carnally desired