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Disabled - Blog Posts
So fun fact when I was a kid my mom decided I wasn’t active enough. So she bought me absurdly expensive running shoes I did not ask for, dragged me out in the below freezing east coast weather, and started me on this “couch potato to 5k” challenge.
Every day after school, we ran. First it was 5 minutes a day, then 7, then 10… you get the gist. I think after 2 months we were running about an hour every day. By the time I quit running when I was 10, my mom and I had run 3 5ks together over the span of a little over a year.
A little after stopped running, I noticed some pain in my right knee. It got a little bit worse, and a little bit worse, and a little bit worse… and then five years later, when it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t pay attention in geography class because I was in constant pain from having to sit all day, I finally went to the doctor.
They told me the cartilage under my kneecap was worn down from overuse. It’s called chondromalacia patellae—also known as “runners knee.”
The thing is: When we were in races, and I was overwhelmed, I told my mom I wanted to stop. I told her I was in pain and I needed to slow down. I told her I didn’t like running.
And you know what she said to me?
“Suck it up.”
And I’m not saying “don’t tell your kids to exercise.” Your kids SHOULD exercise—not because of any bullshit weight reason or anything, but because they’re kids, and it’s good for them. Good for their bones, or whatever.
And I’m not saying “don’t exercise WITH your kids” either, because again, they should be exercising a little. And if you being there helps them stay motivated, that’s great.
What I am saying is: Listen to your kids. Trust that they know their own limits better than you do. Even if you think that they’re being over dramatic, or whiny, or whatever—don’t take the chance.
I’m 20 years old now. My knee still hurts. I have a whole suite of other, unrelated chronic conditions that would be improved if I exercised more. And I try to, I really do. But it’s kind of hard to do squats when just one makes your knee feel like it’s on fire for the rest of the week.
Listen. To. Your. Kids.
Really wish all the “low impact” exercise routines I find weren’t hyper focused on like squats and lunges and shit. Like bro, my knees DO NOT WORK. They simply do not function properly. If I do 15 squats today I’m not going to be able to walk properly for literal days.
…….but like I’m so tired and I NEED to work out to help with my fatigue, and I don’t have the attention span for yoga right now. So I do the five bajillion squats anyway.
And I’m stupid so I forget that that’s a bad idea, so when I’m in an incredible amount of pain just walking up and down the stairs for the rest of the week, I’ll be like
Doctors be like “before we refill your medication you need to make an appointment” and then I show up to the appointment and it’s just
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes, literally all the time.”
“Cool here’s your drugs, see you in three months.”
I’ve been exercising to help my fatigue, unfortunately I keep pushing myself too hard and worsening my joint pain…. which then makes my fatigue worse.
BUT it’s okay because if I need more energy, I can just exercise! Again! And if I injure myself again and my fatigue gets even worse, it’s okay, because if I need help with my fatigue, I can just EXERCISE!!! And then if my joints get worse because of that and I get more fatigue, it’s okay, because I can just EXERCISE MORE, AND—
Any other chronically ill folks have advice on dealing with hot flashes? My autoimmune disease is kicking my ass rn
Yo I tried a new anti-inflammatory for my joint pain and it works AWESOME
unfortunately it is also making me EXTREMELY DEPRESSED so I am going to have to stop taking it immediately
yaaaaaaay :)
The duality of “I should get up and move around, it’ll help with my pain” vs. “I can’t move at all, I’m in too much pain”
Like yeah, if you struggle with chronic pain you should try exercise, because it probably will help. But in order for exercise to even be an option, you have to be in an at least semi-manageable amount of pain to begin with.
Finally a three sentence horror story I can relate to
Guess who had a flare-up but is feeling a bit better now.
THIS GUY
Got the results for my blood test back
Listen I know the only way to figure out what’s making me sick is to wait for my lab tests to come back and see what the doctor says.
And I know that panic googling autoimmune diseases that I MIGHT have is 1. Not productive and 2. Not healthy.
…………………but I read this article about LUPUS last night, and I—
Me: I mean I just told you I have a family history of autoimmune disorders and joint problems, don’t you think we should at least look into—
Dr: You know what else you have a family history of?
Me: …………….dude I swear to god—
Dr:
💖💕Mental Illness💕💖
Me: Yeah so I’ve been having horrible joint pain, muscle weakness, and fatigue for the past several years that’s worsened dramatically in the last 2 months.
Dr: Hmmm…. Fatigue, you say? Do you happen to have any…… mental health issues??
Me: …..I mean I have an anxiety disorder, but I really doubt that—
Dr: That’s the reason, that’s why you’re fatigued. It is your ✨mental illness✨
Me: Okay but I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid and the fatigue is a recent issue, so—
Dr: So sorry to hear about how ✨MENTALLY ILL✨ you are and how it is causing literally ALL of your health issues😢☹️
Me: But my anxiety is way better than it used to be, plus like I said I’m having joint pain as well I really don’t see how that could be caused by—
Dr:
✨💫Mentally Ill✨💫
Me: Yeah so I’ve been having horrible joint pain, muscle weakness, and fatigue for the past several years that’s worsened dramatically in the last 2 months.
Dr: Hmmm…. Fatigue, you say? Do you happen to have any…… mental health issues??
Me: …..I mean I have an anxiety disorder, but I really doubt that—
Dr: That’s the reason, that’s why you’re fatigued. It is your ✨mental illness✨
Me: Okay but I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid and the fatigue is a recent issue, so—
Dr: So sorry to hear about how ✨MENTALLY ILL✨ you are and how it is causing literally ALL of your health issues😢☹️
Me: But my anxiety is way better than it used to be, plus like I said I’m having joint pain as well I really don’t see how that could be caused by—
Dr:
✨💫Mentally Ill✨💫
Me: I am mentally and physically disabled and therefore am not capable of working as much or as hard as most people. I need to remember this and not push myself too hard.
My body after a long day: *collapses from physical and emotional exhaustion after I’ve pushed myself too hard*
Me: 😲????? Who could have foreseen this😲😲😲😲?????
Who do I talk to about like. NOT being disabled anymore.
Like it’s been very fun I’ve a had a lot of character growth blah blah blah but I’m getting tired of Feeling Bad All The Time™
Full stop, I hate how disabled people are ripped off when it comes to buying basic items. Why the fuck is an electric wheelchair $4000, ableds can buy a used car cheaper than that. Ableds get everything catered to them yet I’m trying to get a new wheelchair and can’t afford it. That’s my fucking legs. This also applies to things that disabled people want, like I shouldn’t have to pay $1000 for an adapted guitar. You’re ripping one of the poorest population in the world.
There needs to be a cap on how much vendors can charge for equipment rentals and items that are needed or wanted by disabled people but y’all not ready to talk about that.
Ableds, stop monopolizing off disabled people. (Ableds can reblog this - actually it’s encouraged - but don’t comment!)
In case anyone finds it helpful because mobility aids are horrifically expensive and inaccessible…
And for those people who have access to mobility devices but might benefit from a second chair they can abuse without risking expensive damage…
Erik Kondo has made a website, Open Source Innovations, that details plans for DIY wheelchairs. These wheelchairs can be made from common materials like wood, plastic, and pvc. They are lightweight and can be custom fit to the user allowing from the same degree of movement you would get from a custom chair. And they are durable and easily repairable. (he has been stress testing his latest design by dropping it down stairs, dropping it out of a car, launching it across a driveway, and throwing it off a deck). Its 12lbs and I think he said its was in the $200 ish range for parts.
He also is working on cheap, open source, accessible designs for beach chairs, off road chairs, motorized attachments (think smart drive), and so on. Plus he skateboards in his wheelchair. Cool dude, helpful info, pass it on.
please can i be disabled in shifts or smth??? NOT ALL THE FUCKING TIME, I'M A BUSY PERSON!!!
Benefits of being chronically ill, it's normal to carry so many different prescriptions that you'll need throughout the day if anything happens to your body. 🫠
Anyways, I'm so tired...
I get to go to the doctor and be tested for different things. Joint pain really hurts and brain isn’t working right now. Mom thinks I have arthritis but only 22 years old. I know arthritis happens to all ages, just sad. I’m worried if I can write still. Can I draw still? Good news tho! I’m getting a forearm crutch soon. Might help more than a cane. Been using cane for a while, want more stability though so figured arm crutch? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m struggling with words right now.
Also, if I’m putting wrong tags, let me know. I’m sorry, I’m trying
I feel like half my body needs to be soaked in ice while the other half covered in heating pads…just the issues of chronic pain ⋋_⋌
Am I ill?
Sometimes I start to wonder if I really am chronically ill. Do I really wake up every day with pain or am I just faking it all the time? I know other people actually have these issues and they are very much real, but to me, I don't know what is real for myself anymore. I try so hard to be normal, yet the pain comes back. It always will come back. I wake in the mornings with a killing pain surging through my jaw. I know that last night I must have been fighting monsters, swinging swords that allow me to defeat these dragons lingering in the mountains. Yet, today as I wake up the pain isn't from a dragon or those monsters I fought, it's from my trying to dislocate once more. The throbbing pain in my head isn't from being flung against the wall of a dragon's den, that pain is from my chronic migraines that linger in me causing it almost impossible to eat and hold my food down. That surging sensation that spirals in my belly, drifting up towards my heart and seeping through my veins isn't the poison of my enemy trying to defeat me at last, this is the anxiety that causes me to isolate myself until everything is fine again. The anxiety that holds me back from chasing these wild imaginations because I'm not okay. I don't think I ever will be okay, but am I really ill?
I actually used my AAC in public today for the first time. I know this might not sound like much to some people, but when I have speaking issues and end up nonverbal or having a verbal communication issue (I don’t know what to call it without people getting mad at me) I normally just stop talking all together and isolate myself. This AAC really helped me so much today and I don’t feel so drained physically and mentally from work. I’m really happy so now I don’t have to go home and sleep the rest of my afternoon away, I can play a game or read!!
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Also, I don’t know what you’d call it that I have. I was nonverbal for well over 7 years and have on and off verbal issues where I can talk some days but most days I’m completely silent. Recently I’m having an episode that’s seeming to last about 4 days.
I don’t know if it’s my autism that makes me this way or what, but I have been having a strong feeling of injustice lately. My brain won’t stop thinking about how the world treats certain people as lower than most just because of their disabilities, sexuality, race, economic standpoint, and much more. I can’t get over how unfair it is. I know that’s how life is just going to be especially in the world we live in today, but I wish I could do something about it. I just want everyone to be treated fairly and seen as a human being, not some creature that is lower than anyone else. I’m so sorry to everyone who faces this discrimination and please know that there are people who are here for you. I’ll always be there to support you as well. You are loved and cared for beyond your wildest imagination. Also, I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I struggle with communication but I’m trying.
‼️please help me get a wheelchair‼️
hello, my name is leo, or more commonly known as ‘lav’ on here.
i’ve been dealing with debilitating chronic pain for over 10 years and i really need a wheelchair. i haven’t gotten much help from my healthcare system, being fat and afab has really fucked me over while trying to seek medical attention..
i am still fighting to completely figure out what’s wrong with me, but for now i know that i have several bulging discs in my lower back, as well as scoliosis. (as well as medically recognised POTS).
my pain is getting worse and worse, and i barely leave my home since walking and being upright in general hurts so much. a wheelchair would improve my life immensely, both physically and mentally.
i am currently on disability benefits, which pretty much is the lowest income group in sweden, and saving up for a wheelchair myself would take a very long time.. i will of course also be saving up as much as i can and putting into an account meant for wheelchair funds.
so i’m asking you to donate if you want to and if you are financially able to, and if not, please reblog this.
i have found a good chair that is also accessible to a fat person, and i need 7111 SEK (around 650$) to cover the cost of the chair & the shipping. i have started a gofundme that i’ll be sharing in this post, and i welcome all help, donating just a little helps, and reblogging and sharing the gofundme in general helps immensely too.
thank you so much for reading💜
This is kinda weird but I’m trying to figure out how weird my ankles actually are. I have over-pronated ankles but high arches, which apparently is strange because flat feet cause over-probated ankles and high arches cause under-pronated.
Over-pronated ankles look like ) (
Under-pronated ankles look like ( )
And normal ankles are straight | |
Please reblog if you care to so I can get a larger sample! It would be much appreciated!
Hey! I have personally really enjoyed all the guides you have written about cruising, Grindr and your other sex guides. Would you be interested (or maybe I have completely missed this) about writing a guide to sex as a disabled person? I am personally very interested in sex but scared to join the party and cruising culture because of my disability, chronic pain and discomfort (and my questioning to how I can keep covid safe in hook up culture).
Hi there!
This was a complicated ask for me to receive, I think, because it made me very happy to be asked and that someone is asking and feels empowered to ask, but also I just don't feel I'm equipped to answer it - I think that in the past year or two I've been unpacking a lot of feelings about disability and particularly the ways in which I mask or just don't openly discuss disability with ableds and randoms, there's a lot of old anxiety and pain there for me that I'm just not done working with.
Basically, I'm not equipped, I don't think, to write more extensively about cruising and casual sex with disability in mind as I'm exploring it, especially as I've become a lot more disabled in recent years.
I will say that like... For me, what's been most positive in my sex life, and indeed my life as a whole, is being in community with other disabled people, and sex with other disabled people, particularly those who either have similar disabilities to my own and/or who have a lot of experience with others who are similarly disabled, means that they're going to be more aware of my potential limitations.
For me, being autistic and also having various issues - arthritis, some old injuries probably as a result of hypermobility or whatever, my asthma - means that I'm often not very cognizant of my limitations until I reach those limitations exactly, and then I'm immediately like, okay, I have to stop RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW.
With other disabled people, autistic or otherwise, I don't have an issue tapping out like that - and with partners who aren't physically disabled or chronically ill, but are still autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, that's grand. But with like, normie hookups on Grindr? That's a lot more complex.
Like, I frequently don't use words like "arthritis" or similar, I might mention that I have an injury, but normally just that I prefer certain positions, until after we've had sex because of the ways in which people treat and desexualise disabled bodies - a while back I had a hook up, mentioned my arthritis after fucking, and he was immediately like, "Oh, there's this crystal healer on YouTube" etc lmao.
So yeah, I would recommend seeking community with other disabled people if you can - a lot of BDSM spaces and broader BDSM communities tend to have a lot of disabled people in them. Obviously a lot of the older veterans in these communities will become more disabled as they grow older, and so elder members (as in actually old and elderly, not Tumblr's definition of "elder" that's like 30+ lmao) of kink and queer communities, but also disabled people for various reasons are often drawn to kink and power play and different forms of sex work, and subsequently our expertise shows up a lot in these communities. You can always enter these spaces for the social benefits even if you're not interested in or able for harder play, etc.
One benefit about these is that there'll frequently be more online spaces or smaller, more limited munches - I obviously can't promise that people in your area will definitely be covid safe or even super covid aware, but you should at the very least be able to check these boundaries online before you approach them in person, or if you approach them at all, you know?
I did an interview with Transpired Media a few weeks ago, and part of mine and Anonsee Maytrix's discussion was about our respective experiences being desexualised as disabled trans people in queer communities, and while I don't have any more extended guides or similar, this video might scratch a bit of an itch?
But yeah, I just don't feel like I have more valuable advice or useful input, I'm afraid, as I'm still exploring my own feelings and limitations myself other than just... going stealth about being disabled.
I'd definitely encourage people to put their own resources in the replies and reblogs if they do desire!
This post is for the mentally ill and ND people who do harmful things. Those who struggle with anger, aggression, and violence. Those who are manipulative, who do and say things that hurt people. Those who do all these things and more - who don't get why it's harmful due to havig no empathy, sympathy, compassion, remorse, etc.
Doing things that are wrong doesn't make you any less deserving of a good, safe, and fulfilling life. It doesn't make you a monster. It doesn't mean you deserve pain or discrimination. It doesn't mean you deserve to be alone, ostracized, and discarded. It doesn't make your existence wrong.
You're still here with the rest of us. You still have needs, wants, and rights. Some of the things you do may not be good or excusable, but you are a whole person. You are a whole person, and you deserve better. And I hope you get that someday, whatever it means to you.
Some of you are only cripplepunk until it's about disabled people with deformities, until it's about disabled fat people, until it's about disabled trans people, until it's about people with "gross" or "unrelatable" symptoms, until it's about rare, severe and life-threatening disabilities, until it's about seeing disabled people being bitter and angry because the system fucked us over. Cripplepunk is about not giving any shits about the ableds discomfort and it is about uplifting our voices. Otherwise you are just a poser.
emergency!! please help a disabled trans person escape abuse!!
hello, my name is hubble. i am currently trying to escape my abusive family, a feat that requires not only a lot of courage, but a lot of money. i currently have no way to sustain myself and pay rent, and i am asking for help until i can get on my feet and get a good job when i am safe.
i am asking for $10,000 for rent, disability aid, utilities, food, and backup funds if i cannot secure a job fast enough.
please consider donating to my gofundme or commissioning me, both of which are linked below.
thank you so much <3
why is accessibility so inaccessible… someone explain how this is supposed to make sense