I Wanna Be Tiny - Blog Posts

being bmi 16 but not FEELING bmi 16 is a different type of pain T_T

Hey guys,

I'm leaving Tumblr, at least for a couple of months, in an attempt to r3 c0 ver. I'll probably come back 20Ibs heavier crying about how I regret it, however my mental health is declining very rapidly, and 4n4 isn't making it any better so until I can get myself back in to a safe headspace, I will be leaving.

I love you all so much, and thank you all for giving me such a wonderful community to be apart of. Ilyasm! Y'all are some of the most amazing, sweetest angels I've ever met. You all were here for me when no one else was, and were the only people I could talk to about my w31ght struggles. Thx for everything, and for helping me lose 40Ibs. I hope every single one of you hit your UGW, r3c0v3r, or find whatever will bring you true inner happiness. Thx again sm. 💓💕

Guys, I'm officially taking it seriously now.

LOOKING FOR A F4STING PARTNER (PREFERABLY 72+ HOURS) Pls repost.

Also, every like this gets for the first week, I'll extend my f4st by an hour. Starting with a 24-hour f4st. Please share this around, I want this to be challenging. Thx!! <3 (if I break my f4st, I'm deleting my account for accountability (ToT)👍)

Pre/Post B1nge B0dy Check

First Pic: Day before 3 day 19k c4l b1ng3 (ga1n3d 12 lbs, mostly water.)

Last Pic: Today, 12 hours after b1ng3.

Fuck my life. Posting for accountability and to remind my fellow 4n4s that first 'snack/treat' is NEVER worth it. Love yall. 😭🫶

Also I'm seeing my husband this Sunday, so I have to stop acting like a p1g or im going to be f4tter than the last time he saw me

I mightve eaten 7k c4ls in the past two days....so I'm gonna attempt a f4st. I'm literally watching all my progress slip away from me rn. 🤪👍

I mightve eaten 7k c4ls in the past two days....so I'm gonna attempt a f4st. I'm literally watching all my progress slip away from me rn. 🤪👍

Any other anas donated plasma??

I need tips cause I always binge before donating with the excuse of "it's just so I don't faint" but that's all it is, an excuse. I get so weak and nauseous any time I go around needles and I have a donation tomorrow. Everything I've said online is drink lots of water, and no caffeine/nicotine beforehand. Does anyone have experience/tips for restr1ct1ng before/during donation?

WIEIAD (Under 700 c4ls)

Breakfast:

Smoothie

Kale - 28

4 oz orange juice - 55

Vinegar - 0

Collagen Powder - 45

Dinner

Fried zucchini - 66

Parmasean cheese - 43

Coconut Chicken Curry - 235

Rice - 116

Snacks:

(x4) Hubba Bubba - 100 cals

Total: 679

@r1pouttmygvtz

Starting this diet Monday. Anyone wanna join in? I'm going to post results for all the diets I try. ^-^

God I'm so addicted to these 😩

Ngl an ana coach would be nice.

I started a whole new routine and it's so much better than it was.

As much as I don't like working out and sweating I decided to put effort in.

An hour and a half on the treadmill is not that much.

I don't like vanilla cherry diet coke but I feel like I need it, because it would probably prevent me from eating.

I was "fasting" all day but ate at night when I came home so it feels like I cheated. 12 hours basically out of the window.

I don't understand why I can't stop myself. Not too long ago was so easy.

So new years! Yippee! Things are gonna get better and I will be skinnier.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ DISCORD SERVER

I made a discord server for 18+ @n@/m1a/3d peeps who like anime and games!

There are lots of stuffs there already lmao. Gaming channel, anime channel, vent and a bunch of 3d related ones like th1nspø, m3alspø, tips and shared mesdia! You can reccomend your favourite music, movie that triggers you.

There is not a lot of people on it, and it's still under "construction", so suggestions are welcome!

Link:

https://disboard.org/server/1174491466287030303

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER

I decided that I am kot gonna date things lmao. Kinda feeling mentay frustrated, so I hoped a break would make it better. It, in fact, did not.

I am in one discord server and people are really really nice, but I feel like I abandoned that server and I just dunno. I'd like a community where I can ramble about my silly things and people motivate eachother to push through things. Don't get me wrong, like I said they are really nice, motivating and everything. I just feel like I didn't connect much, but that can be just me.

Anyhow, a gaming-ana server is what I wanna make. For sillies that are like me idk. I might just need more friends lmaoo.

Also I have been fasting for two days now but my period just decided to come, so ugh. Fortunately whenever it happens I don't feel much hunger, so I can just fast and be happy. I am planning on going til saturday because I am meeting up with a friend that day and we already made plans to visit a café. Im sure he will make a suggestion to eat something somewhere too.

So yes yippee. That is for this update. I might restart the logging.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER 1-2

The last week was shitty in terms of starving myself. I plateaued at 73 and I haven't been gaining which is nice, but I haven't been losing either.

Because of the holidays, birthdays and other events I couldn't avoid eating normal amounts but sadly I have been craving things I haven't craved in a long time and it's making me crazy.

For example I really don't like white bread, yet I broke my 72 hour fast after the 27th hour because I had this instant need for it. I looked at the slice, conteplated only a little and bit into it. It was such a big slice too. I knew I can't eat it, that I shouldn't eat it, yet I still did.

Fucking other weight losing tactics haven't worked on me before only starving myself did. Only restricting my calorie intake to 800-400-200 did. What am I supposed to do? Stop because I failed even at something so simple like not fucking stuffing my mouth?

I even ate KFC like a pig. Ate the grander and the twist thing then drank the pumpkin spice shake. I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't stop. The craving and the hunger for it was too much.

God I wanna cry. I wanna tear everything out. They were so good, but for how long? Until I finished watching a moist critical video, which was 10 minutes long.

Why can't I wait? Why can't I control it? I hate it so much.

I hate food. I don't want it anymore.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 26

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Monster energy zero - 14 cal

➀ Tortilla with with tuna, corn and light mayo - 211 cal

➀ Tortilla with tuna, corn, broccoli, cheese and tomato sauce - 386 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 611 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 9482/10000 - 381 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 381 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 25

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Green apple 309g - 180 cal

➀ Tortilla with with tuna and corn - 545 cal

Water - 1.6l/2l

Full - 725 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8698/10000 - 353 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 353 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 24 + WEEK SUMMARY

I was so absent gah daym. I binge watched trigun again then watched trigun stampede and grrr the brainrot was so real and strong (curse you knives for being so crazy and yet so appealing for my brain) and quite honestly I just didn't bother to write logs.

The whole week been really chill, mostly spent my time at home mainly because I got kinda ill...for a day lmao. After that I was just kinda tired all day so I stayed in bed, only woke up to do my nails, which took me 4 days btw because Im not a professional and I wanted it to be perfect.

So yes, I only logged my food down in the tracker and wasted away. Makes me kinda sad, kinda guilty but at the same time it is what it is.

AlsonI noticed that now it's not as hot and warm outside so my body doesn't "crave" water so I forget to drink and that's not good. It makes me hungry and bored so I often catch myself wandering in the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge door to see if my stomach wants anything other than meat, veggies and fruits. Not too big on eating carbohydrates and if I can I will avoid it even tho my body supposedly needs it. (I was a hypocrite today tho I craved rice and gave)

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (lemon) 350ml - 0 cal

➁ Green apples 287g - 166 cal

➁ Eggs 106g - 152 cal

➁ Bowl of Basmati rice with tuna, corn and broccoli - 700 cal

Water - 1.6l/2l

Full - 1018 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 10217/10000 - 410 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 420 cal

I am so bad at blogging my things lmaoo. At least i didn't eat today, tristamp kept me distracted for a little while 💕💕

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 17

Waking up early is never a pleasant thing, since family is home and they remind me to pack food. Fortunately my mom gives a lift to my brother who starts really early, so she wasn't be able to force me to bring food and my sister and father doesn't really care.

It was so cold today I could see my breath in the air. My dumbass also forgot to pack handcream into my bag because my hands dry out because of the chilly air, so much that it's starts to cut up or something. I could wear gloves sure, but it feels restricting.

Alsoo! I weighed myself in the morning and I was 73.5kg! When I was talking with my best friend I could see it on my face an neck how much thinner it is already so I am really happy.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea (lemon) 300ml - 0 cal

➂ Green apples - 291 cal

➁ Homemade margherita pizza - 204 cal

Water - 1.7l/2l

Full - 150 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8249/10000 - 330 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 330 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 16

Today was surprisingly really cold, but fortunately not as cold to have the winter coat out just yet.

Other than going to school and coming home, nothing really note worthy happened.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Boiled eggs with hot sauce - 156 cal

➁ Green apples - 139 cal

➀ Tuna with hot sauce and light mayo 62g - 134 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 429 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8973/10000 - 359 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 359 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 15

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Green apple - 78 cal

➀ Boiled egg - 72 cal

Water - 1.5l/2l

Full - 150 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 10391/10000 - 419 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 419 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 14

Mom asked me to accompany her to give my sister a lift to uni and while driving back we stopped to pick up a package and to buy some ribbons for my halloween costume. I decided to look for cute plates, mainly heart shaped ones and although I did find two types, one was too deep and big -also had blood on it so I had go scrub and sanitise my hands raw because I felt icky - and the other was too shallow for me. Unfortunately I didn't buy a cute plate but a basic small ceramic one.

I love how the trees are colorful, how chilly yet somehow warm it is in autumn. I could wear my current favourite sweater and pants that are now big on me a bit. Mom always tells me that I am getting really skinny and I love the attention I get from other people.

Oh! Also I am finally at my lowest weight in 5 years! Still high, but it is going down surely and I am addicted.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Basmati rice with tuna, broccoli and peas 200g - 466 cal

➀ Banana - 62 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 528 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6394/10000 - 259 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 259 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 13

I went to school today, but didn't have the best day, because I got angry at my classmate for some silly reason, so I feel like I need to apologise. Maybe it was the hunger in me, maybe I just didn't sleep well.

Also I took a walk on the treadmill again to get to 10k steps. Dunno if I mentioned or not but whenever I don't get to at least 6k steps I feel guilt and I feel like I don't put in the work I should.

Once again didn't exercise. I could blame it on the absence of a watch that would note the calories I burnt, but I would be lying. Well half lying. I may be just too lazy.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➁ Green apples 140g - 81 cal

➂ Eggs with light mayo 83g - 119 + 24 cal

Water - 1,2l/2l

Full - 224 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 10499/10000 - 422 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 422 cal

What the hell noone told me losing weight is so addictive. I can already feel my hipbone and ribs so much????

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 12

I stayed home, just like yesterday and this pressure of not putting in enough steps for me to feel comfortable was getting too much so I decided go use the treadmill and walk on it for an hour and 50 minutes. It was so good honestly, in the confinement of my own home, comfortable and quiet while I can do whatever as I walk and I don't need to look out for people I would bump into or cars that could hit me.

Sadly as much as I promised myself to eat as little as possible when mom came home, saying she bought some cookies and sweets I caved. I may have mentioned this, I am not one to crave sweet things, especially if it's sticky, full of cream and sugar. Yeah, well to my misfortune everything she brought home was notjing of sort, so I indulged. Lavender cookies, snow crescents, small piece of bundt cake and gingerbread macaroons. I could look for a basic recipe but I doupt I could calculate the correct estimate of calories.

I try not to dwell, thoughts of simply not listing these down had ran through my mind but I would be only lying to my own self.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Hell energy drink 250ml (lemon & ginger) - 118 cal

➁ Green apples 326g - 189 cal

➂ Eggs 130g - 186 cal

Water - 1,6l/2l

Full - 493 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 11781/10000 - 476 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 476 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 11

Broke my 60 hour fast with some tuna today. (To be honest I don't remember what exactly I wanted to note down, because I am writing this on the 13th so im sorry)

I really want to restrain myself from snacking on things while I cook and/or bake, because I ate so many seedless cherries, what wouldn't be a problem, but they were kept in a sugary water that preserves the cherries for longer and ugh. I don't even know how I should estimate that.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Tuna with tomatoes - 157 cal

➅ Shrimp chips 13g - 45 cal

➀ Cinnamon roll - 199 cal

➃ Choco-coconut balls - 431 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 832 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6953/10000 - 281 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 281 cal