The Guilt After Getting Ill Is Consuming Me Away. I Wish, I Was Able To Change Or Heal.

Doing homework sounds like a complete hell... Why I always wanna kill myself when it comes to school? I have no ideas... At least I have social nets where I can vent out freely, cuz if I vented only to my friends, they'd leave me, I guess... At least doing homework when you aren't hyperactive better than doing it when you wanna chat and etc.

I guess, that I should leave there links on my other social media... Anyway, I should go now....

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

I can't keep fighting with it anymore, I can't describe how much I wanna take out my kn!fe and cut my arms. I wanna make too many cut, to make them bl!!dy mess. I can't fight it. I already cut my legs, but it doesn't help. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE!! Someone, please help me. I can't fight this urge, one more hour and I'll turn my arms in a mess. Looks like I have an addiction...

Maybe, my weight is a dream for someone, but I think that I'm fat. I weigh only 46, but I still think that I'm fat. I want to lose 6 kg, and I don't really care that these workouts are exhausting. I wanna be skinny, and I'll do it, and I don't care if it's unhealthy. I want to eat only 500 calories a day, or at least 800, because 1000 is too much. I wanna do 5 workouts today and I already did two. I want to be skinny – I will be skinny.

Never expected to stay clean(?) for 14 days... Well, how to say clean.... If I can't cut, I'll beat, bite, and burn myself, just because it gives me more pleasure. And I bit myself so hard that there are bruises left after that

why does nobody represent physical illnesses?? I mean... Most people don't know what cerebral paralysis, epilepsy, etc are, and in the end laughing at it, or saying stupid and disrespectful things about it. I think we should spread awareness about physical illnesses, because they're hard to deal with alone, and also could lead to a mental illness. Please, someone, spread awareness about physical health...

Fuck it. As someone who was born in Russia, I fucking despise the all angry and alcoholic russian stereotype. No, not all russians drink vodka. No, we don't have constant winter. No, we aren't angry 24/7. And no, most of us don't have the "typical" russian accent. I'm tired of "russian" characters who are just a walking stereotype.

I just needed to say this, thank you.

"But my ribs are hurting too, so help me!!" No, you're saying that just to force me to do something you don't, while I just want to curl up in my bed with this stinging pain in my ribs.

I wish I could vent to someone... Or at least be hugged. I can't I'm turning into a whimpering mess, all covered in snot, tears, saliva and feeling nauseous. I hate myself

I'm so tired of feeling nothing. I'm not sad nor happy. It's just... Emptiness?