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Tw Self Destructive Behavior - Blog Posts
TRIGGER WARNING:
fake bl0od :/
keep yourself safe plz plz plz
lmao
WARNING: some digital bloød! not real, just my doodles! be careful
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vent art :(
It starts as a harmless poke to my shoulder. Never a serious matter for when I turn to question you, you respond with a bright smile and remind me that it is all friendly.
Your fingerprint begins to stain my shoulders and I turn to inquire your motivations. Quickly I am shut it down cause it’s nothing serious, just a nudge.
Times pass and the skin that you torment is bruising, the pain pulsates although out my body.
Your hand is tainted crimson with my ooze but still you address me with a smile, after all it’s just a nudge.
You burry your way through my skin and uncover the most fragile parts of my being. The foundation that I am built on is disrupted by your omnipotent presence that chips away at me.
I garner up the courage to question your antics as my bones begin to splinter.
But there is no body to restore me, I am spoilt beyond recovery.
I dont see my therapist again until school starts and I've just unlocked a new trauma. I can only talk to one person about it and I'm freaking out. I hate this. I hate life. I'm so uncomfortable and upset and disgusted by everything. I was just starting to like myself.
I dont know what to do anymore. I try so hard and I always end up back here. I'm tired of trying to fight to get out of this. I'm just gonna stay in the dark and hopefully I'll be able to this.
I've been struggling so much. You don't even see it. I've been trying so hard to make things good again but nothing works. I put all of my effort into making us okay that I've started struggling in school. This is the worst I've ever done and I dont know what to do anymore. I'm so tired. I'm so damn tired
I feel so alone. I try to talk to you but I dont know how anymore. I ruined things between us and I don't know how to fix it. I'm not even lonely I know I have you but at the same time I'm so alone.
Life has lost meaning. Life has lost purpose. I'm so lost and numb without you. I can't do this anymore.
Had to reset the clock today. It's been a bad week. I want to lay in bed and rot now
Why cant I just do it? What's wrong with me?
When eating does anyone else feel like throwing up as soon as the food touches your tongue? Especially when it comes to meat?
I feel like I need them more than they need me. Even if I am that one that ruined everything, I still need them. I crave them. It feels like they could care less. It's what I deserve.
I wish I had the courage to end it all.
How am I supposed to live after I've hurt the person I love the most?
I hate it when the punishment your mum gives you for your room being a mess is you cant leave the house until its clean. I cant stand being in this house and not going on a ride somewhere. It just becomes a loop. Wake up, go to school, come home, sleep, and repeat. I need to go somewhere or ill go insane. But no. I cant. Until that one thing gets done. I hate it. I hate it i hate it i fucking hate it. Until eventually i have a mental breakdown and become destructive and start hitting things or physically hurting yourself. It feels like your whole body is burning hot. And the only thing that will help is inflicting pain on yourself or it will only get worse. After its over your just numb.. you feel nothing. No emotions, or feeling in your body. You could cut yourself and not feel a single thing.
so i’m actually ending it. he’s gonna be upset with me cause i relapsed. fuuuuckkkk.
dm if u want pics
WAIT CAN I SEE THE CARVING I CANT DM BC I FORGOT TO CONFIRM MY EMAIL BUT IF U SEND IT I CAN STILL SEE GAHHH
GURLLL I DKNT WANNA GET T WORDED, i might put a filter on it if you want OR try to confirm your email
can y’all please please PLEASE ask me anonymous questionssss
i’m in school and i’m so boreddd
my man said he’s proud of me for not cvtting and said even if i do it’s okay because i’m trying but i reallyyyy don’t know what to do, i haven’t in a few days since i carved his name but i really want to, the urges are so strong but he’s gonna ask me why and a bunch of other shit (he’s studying psychology so he’s always on my ass” WHAT DO I DOOOO
stop y’all, i literally opened tumblr while on the school wifi and forgot they have certain things blocked and when i opened tumblr it showed the “this is usually your dashboard” SHIT AND I GOT SO SCAREDDDD
i’m just scared i’m gonna get t worded again
I DID IT!! DM IF YOU WANNA SEE
i love my man i would carve his name into me for him.
i love deep cvvts but i get scared to even go to deep styro, do you guys have any tips? i’ve gone to beans before but only twice like 3 years ago
how was your day today??
my day was actually very shitty, i went to court, cried, did the ice bucket challenge, argued with my father, cried more, cried, called my man (😍), aaannnddd here we are. the highlight was definitely calling my man, thank you for askinggg
this is a little reveal i guess?? not necessarily a face reveal since you can’t see it but you get the idea <3
plz don’t be meannnn
do you got that dawg in you
i do got that dawg in me 🐺🐺🐺
update, i went with my parents and my father lied saying i’m lazy and it’s because of my phone that i don’t go AND said i ran away which is also a lie (he kicked me out) like mf that’s not true. but i have court ordered therapy because they hate me and are trying to take away my personality but when it was over when i was leaving the place my mom pulled me aside to talk abt smth and i started bawling my eyes out because he wasn’t believing me and was believing my father and basically just told me to and i quote “get your ass to school” like mfff
why are you going to court tomorrow (here because your post)
i have to go to court for truancy, i never go to school 😭
oopsiessss
ao invés de sair chamando os outros de gordo vc bem wie podia cortar fora tudo isso que você chama de gordura magra, magra aonde amores????????????