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I Wanna Kms - Blog Posts
Guess who’s mom dragged them on a trip to the countryside, a trip I didn’t want to go on by the way to visit my grandparents. I thought it was gonna be like a day or so and we are basically staying here the entire spring break and when I come back I go straight to school. Now it seems like everything I do she is catching an attitude with me for, apparently I’m too loud or I keep randomly snapping at her.
guys idk what you mean i didn’t do that
2 new pages of my sketchbook! :P
(real)
welp
were getting to the point where im ghosting ppl i love n care abt again
fuck
(chat, is it weird that i feel an attempt coming?)
god i look like shit
body check btw but it’s not really skinny enough to need a tw!😜
i gained ten pounds and broke up with my boyfriend
Now i’m like the soul sucking extremely depressed and hopeless mentally ill instead of the manic 🌈💕🌸 mentally ill where i felt good but knew it was bad
because why can't i?
i wouldn't say so
how i look at someone who asks if im ok
Tw: suicidal idealation, sh, sui
Nobody noticed when I stopped including myself in the photos. When I stopped trying to stand out in the group. They didn't notice that I started to fade into the background more and more. It was like I wasn't even there.
Every time I've cried it's been alone. Not once has someone helped me through a panic attack. There is no one here who will help me. I am alone. Why won't anybody help me? I've done everything that I can to save them.
I can't seem to let them go though. Especially the one who hurts me the most. Because even though he makes me feel like I don't matter and am just annoying, he's the only one who really makes me happy. So when he is nice to me my heart is so happy even though I know it won't last and that he'll be back to acting too good for me soon.
But he just doesn't get it. When I message you something random, that's my desperate cry for a distraction. I need help, but he pops in and out of the conversation and then I know that I mean nothing to the person who is my world. And then I cry. I cry until I can't breath because I need him but he doesn't even want me.
Nobody wants me.
I'm so tired. I can't keep going like this. I need someone to love. Someone to give me something to live for. But I don't have that.
So I live only because I have failed to die. I don't take the pills because I can't move my body. I just stare at the wall and feel the tears fall. I give myself drawings made of scars because I don't deserve to have something pretty without pain.
Maybe someday soon I'll finally get the courage.
weed does not fucking cut it at all anymore and im out of klonopin that means it is time to shed my skin suit and fly into the sun someone pls distract me lol
An suddenly my heart has been ripped out of my chest and sat neatly infront of me
hey guys im sorry i haven’t updated, i literally got evicted from my house and had to sleep on my car on a supermarket parking lot with my family yesterday, i still don’t have internet at my new house so idk when ill be able to upload again, love yall
actually kill me. throw a brick at my head. launch me through a window. throw me down the stairs. literally kill me
wow, i jst ruined another friendship
should i jst kms atp yall?
welp
were getting to the point where im ghosting ppl i love n care abt again
fuck
(chat, is it weird that i feel an attempt coming?)
im a bad person
i only hurt those around me
everyones lives would be better if i was dead
i only ruin things
i shouldve died a long time ago
i shouldve never made it this far
im not going to get further in life anyways
im going to die before im 20
either from su1cide or from my illness
i hope i die soon
everyone would be better off that way
(sooner or later im gonna sl1t my throat or ove3d0se on my meds or h4ng myself from a tree in my backyard)
me when i promise i wont kms but my 20 minutes of happiness pass n i wanna do it again:
THEY REPLACED ME
theyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedme
they said i was their favourite
they said they loved me
they said that IM their number one
WHY DID THEY REPLACE ME
DID I JST MEAN NOTHING TO THEM
DID THEY JST LIE THIS WHOLE TIME
IF THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH, HOW DID THEY REPLACE ME SO EASILY
am i rlly that replaceable?
